The Grace in Grace

It has been a pretty busy week, so much so I didn't have time to hit the gym nor jog. My last fitness session was on Sunday and I was "resting" till now. I shall jog later since I'm already in my running shorts :) Or maybe tomorrow? I still have work to do, yet I'm blogging here :P

Monday's meeting was long but I think it went well. We left 3/4 way and went to Cathay for movie. I missed secondary school and polytechnic life after watching High School Musical 3. I remember the times like those in the scenes when we were all so excited but at the same time afraid when we were about to graduate.

Since Tuesday till now it has been work, work and more work. First it was the surveys' results, that alone can kill. I stayed up till 3a.m last Saturday night just getting and calculating the raw data into Excel. Now, I hate Excel even more. Then it was the school's website; content migration, create new pages and many more. And that's not all on my plate, I have to handle my secondary 3's structure lesson. Though it's 2 hours a day, still it's taxing. Now mentioning it, I am still stuck with a video/audio embeding problem. It plays on my side, but not on theirs; why? No amount of googling have solved this...

Some lousy time during the week, but I got over it with Goon's help. Yet again, she was there when I needed her. So, now I guess she needs me. Wonder what's with her today. The lousy time reminded me that I was born a tough cookie, you'll see ;D

Finally it's Friday tomorrow, still it's busy. Though weekend is equally busy, but yet I'm looking forward to it. It makes a difference on who you're working hard for :)

Saturday: Worship practice, worship preperation, YLT
Sunday: Worship leading, rugby training

Well, it's not that bad. I guess I'm just tired.

My poor iggy, was so busy till I haven change her bedding this week... oh, and I need to get food for you..

Rugby session with Blacks was fun. There were more people, more actions and more trainings (of course more injuries too!). The timing was just right as well, a perfect time to get some tan if need be. So, I guess the decision is made. Or maybe a few more sessions?

Saw a number of bloody knees, a couple of bruises and a few concussions. We were told to buy insurance if we want to continue playing X).

Saw some familiar faces at the trainings, some were from the clinic. Overall, it was a fun session under the sun. Back for more next week!

We took a cab home, because someone was lazy... The main thing is I think I left my phone in the cab, cause I couldn't find it ANYWHERE. I turned my bag upside down, I even checked the laundry basket, fridge, shoe racks and under my bed. Now my only hope is she saw my phone before leaving the cab, cause she was the last to drop.

No money already still lose phone. Now, what model do I want to get?

My knees hurts from the grass burnts.. Long socks, long socks. Remember to wear long socks.

I have cute, naughty, noisy, irritating, friendly, caring, nice and everything else students. Seriously I have no idea when the shots are taken until I saw them online. Some are nice, some are candid, some are unglam! I'm sure there are somemore pictures of me somewhere in the virtual world.
This noisy student of mine. No idea when was this taken even though the camera might have been right in front of me. And what was I pointing to?This is so not nice.
And when was this taken?!
This is a nice shot actually. Ignore my fat tummy though. Don't look; maybe I should photoshop it away.

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Rugby training on Thursday was fun, well not as fun as the clinic though. Pris told me how to get there but in the end I still lost my way :P Took a cab back down, was late for 30 mins. Warm ups and did basics in the rain. Towards the end coach told us to get down on the ground.. feel the dirt of rugby game!! That's why late at night I was still scrubbing mud off my shorts and shirt.

Do I still want to turn on for next Thursday's training?

I'm like down with a flu and blocked nose, AGAIN. It all started a few days ago with me feeling unwell. Then it was rugby training in the rain on Thursday and now it eventually erupted. Was suppose to be Jon's backup singer this sunday, but how to sing with a sexy voice like that? Last night I was also busy rushing SEM survey's result, a headache. For the next few days I have to rush to finish school's new website and get it done before Tuesday. Good grief me. Why fall sick when there's so many things to do?

Another round of rugby training on Sunday, can I make it? There is Church meeting on Monday, do I have time to go? School website's content to be ready by Tuesday, can I rush it out? Structure lesson with my secondary 3s till 4th November, am I prepared?

I think what I'm concern about is the school's new website now.

Please be well enough for training this Sunday :)

The day was normal.

Pretty busy in the morning; problem solving for the surveys (cocked up AGAIN), a whole lot of walking/running from lab to lab (making sure things are going alright, ALONE), running up to upper staff room to look for missing teacher (didn't turn up at all in the end) and not forgetting to add a pinch of pissed mood to blend it all up. The sunny-and-then-rained-like-crazy-and-sunny-again weather didn't helped a lot.

Chated awhile, was told there might be a rugby shorts suitable for me and Al's willing to pass over at a low low price (more than 50% discount!). Went Parkway for lunch and was supposed to hunt bag for Grandma's birthday, but then non of it fits her. Short handle, light-weight, green, medium-sized; hard to find. Gave up, went to get my FBT top instead.

Came back and totally didn't remember the shorts. Went up, just nice Al was about to leave. When I first touch the shorts, my first reaction was "Wah! So tough!" She laughed at my reaction can... The shorts looked small, but Al encouraged me to try it on anyway. To my astonishment (my first chim word learnt when I was in primary school), I fit perfect into them! Looked small, the tag tells me it's one size smaller than my usuals; but it fit!

Call me simple minded or easily pleased this time; that rugby shorts made my day. Just because it fits, just because I can wear a size smaller shorts now... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Grandma's birthday dinner later. When was the last family gathering I went to?

Anyway, I love square-cut shorts :D

To think I don't wear shorts last time...

The teenagers say this is "emo-ing". I'm still a teenager still, so yeah.. I'm emo-ing. Just nice my computer lab is empty now, Iggy is sleeping and all the people I know is busy-ing. All by myself, alone in the cold empty computer lab (don't know which idoit set the tempreture so low). Looking at Iggy, feel like disturbing her and talking to her, which I always do. But she looks tired from all the fan-meeting sessions. Let her sleep.

Don't even feel like stepping out for lunch. Don't even feel like eating. Crazy ah, Grace!

No body to talk to every now and then loh~ No body for me to disturb every now and then loh~ I tried to build some new friendships, all of them are still very new so nothing's happening. More excuse to emo. Actually, I'm not all by myself.. It's just whether I want to step out of this lab, pluck up my courage and talk to people. Easy to others, but hard for me. Why do I have this stupid barrier in between me and people?

I don't mind being alone, but it's the feeling of lonliness that caught me. I don't want to leave this school after my time here, not gaining anything, not leaving anything behind. Haiya... what's wrong. I just want to emo today~

Reminds me of the emo times on and off the ship. I feel like a teenager today.

:|

3.5 hours of rugby training clinic; fun. NUS is huge, and it reminds me of the time in TP. TP cannot be compared to NUS, it's just a fraction, what I meant was those term times. Made me feel like a student again.

While walking to the field, I got a text from Lynn asking if I was coming for the clinic. Funny (actually not funny) enough, she was also there! It's such a relief (spelling?) that I wasn't the lone ranger there.. It made my day to have someone you know at the clinic. So, we got split into different teams, got introduced to the basics, learn how to break falls, tackles, ruck and scrum. We even manage to play some informal friendlies with other teams.

Overall it was fun. I enjoyed the tackling part and running with all your might to break the defence line of the other team. In summary, contact rugby is FUN.

"Just run lah! Got ball means tackle already!"

The sun was nice too, so nice that I'm burnt( I forgot my lotion). Churchies was like asking me where have I been.

"Haiyo, why you so red. You went sun tan arg?"

It was a nice Saturday. Nice work out, nice people, nice crowd, nice company. Now it's back to nursing those blue blacks, scratches and muscle aches. I hope I can still move when I wake up tomorrow.

Forgot when was the time I heard about the training clinic; more than a month ago maybe. So, finally the day is coming! Within a few hours time I'll be on the field running like mad, panting like a dog, bringing people to the ground, people bringing me to the ground, and the list go on and on.

4 hours of training clinic, I wonder what is going to happen. I read that it's going to be like a 7s format, which means less contact and more running. I haven been running since Monday after the my thighs try to go into cramps every few minutes. It got much better and I'm saving it for the clinic. Who knows after the clinic, the cramps might be the whole of my body :P

I've been looking forward to this day for like ages... come on, Rugby!

It's always easier to blame others. "Not me! Not me! It's him/her!" Cut the stupid crap out! If it's really your stupid fault then be brave enough to admit it. What is the point of pushing the blame to others, you'll get more blame for pushing the blame away!

You are suppose to deliver the project at the beginning of this year. Now, the year is ending and not a single thing is done. Shameful or not? You are a reputable company but yet doing things like this? Can you spell SHAME?

We gave you so much feedback, but did any of you take them into your thick skull? Last year's error is still present this year. What the heck.. For the past few days I was so stressed over the task all because of a simple error that didn't get corrected from last year. If I had the access to program the whole system, it would have long been done. Getting Polytechnic's final year student would have been better then getting you to do things.

Stupid, fancy trying to push the damn blame to me when you have nothing to say already. Thankfully, my HOD is understanding and can see what's going on! Oh man, simply disgusted by those behaviors. Doesn't mean I'm young, inexperience, can bully and push around!

I see myself working for the school and not for the company. Whatever branding you are trying to do now, too late.

Random pictures on a random day. Monday is so quiet, everyone when home early. Didn't get to interact much with people today, just the usual few. It's like getting tougher to get along with her. The feeling of her touching me or going to touch me made me wanna run away. I'm already sensitive to people touching me randomly, now with the "turn-off" feelings I had with her; it's hyper sensitive when she touches me or tries to touch me.

It's very mean of me to think this way. But maybe I should stay away from her for a while. If I continue to pretend that I'm comfortable around her, or I'm listening to her whenever she talks, that would be so fake. I wonder why I'm so irritated by her, I wonder why I'm not used to her, I wonder why I am so turn off by her.

I prayed you know.. "....teach me how to love her..." But it's like so hard. Her every moves, voice, actions is starting to irritate me. How come? It's so mean of me, damn it.

Anyway, here's some picture I took during my cycling trip last Wednesday. Not very good pictures (What you expect from a mobile phone!?)The beautiful connector from ECP to Changi.
The sun was nice that day.
My Dad's bike.
Nice greens eh?
Resting after 30km and the crash.

Five Loaves and Two Fishes
Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small
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All I have are 5 little loaves and 2 little fishes. Sometimes I really look at myself and wonder whether what I have done would mean anything or have any effect. I'm so small and insignificant. Who don't want to be some body yeah? Who don't want to have power, influence, wealth and charisma? Who am I? The things that I do, have done, are they off any importance?

I'm impatient; sometimes I want things to happen fast, I want to see results right away. God is good, He always puts me through waiting time. Just what I needed. Needless to say, I hate waiting time. The waiting period is so hard to pass; yet when it's over.. it's victory sweet.

God, You know what I'm thinking and what I'm asking for. But let those that I ask be in Your will and not mine. Let You come first! If the things I want is coming before You, I would rather You take it away.

"Seek His Kingdom and His righteousness first. And all that shall be added unto you"

Goon say it will rain yesterday, but it did not! Thankfully didn't listen to her, I went ahead with my cycling trip :D Instead of the usual East Coast route, I took Dad's route and went all the way to Changi Beach Park. Total distance covered from home to Changi and back was about 30km. Didn't note how much time I used, but there were a number of breaks in between. The intersection from East Coast to Changi was a stretch of beautiful road with lots of greens. Reminded me so much of the walk we took in Iceland. Everything was nice, the weather, the sun, the wind... until the way back.

I was just exiting the intersection from Changi to East Coast, took a turn, went up a small slope. Then there was this group of leisure cyclist coming through. It was a big group, so I had to give way. As there were all coming through on my left, I moved to my right. I was pressed against this object and couldn't move right anymore, so I stopped and waited. THEN, I notice there's this girl (which look new in cycling) were first cycling towards the direction on my left. Out of the blue (once I have stop my bike) she changed her direction and were coming my way! The whole time she wasn't looking in front, but at her pretty bicycle. I guess she didn't even realise she was crashing into me until that faithful moment. I fell, she fell. She was wearing jeans, I was wearing my FBT. So guess, who had the most injuries.

My bike's left handle bar simply tried to tear my thigh's skin away, the other handle bar crushed my right thumb and left a 10cm "line" on my tight down. Everything was perfectly find, until then.

Well, coming to think of it. I'm fortunate enough to have such minor injuries. Saw some pictures of others' bike crash, far more painful than mine. Thank God I was going very slowly and not like 30km/h speed. Thank God both of us were going slow. Thank God it happened towards the end of the trip. Thank God that none was seriously injured. Thank God the bike was alright and I still could cycle home. Well, thank God!

A nice way to celebrate my last children day before stepping into adulthood.

Wanted to run today, but my butt still hurts from the 30km bike ride, the thigh still hurts, my hands still hurts. Half of my body still aches. Let's see tomorrow.

Maybe I could try cycling to school during the holidays eh? It's less than 2km (I think). After that 30km, 2km is nothing :P No crash please, crashing along the way to school or back is deadly.

Lots of work to do!! Busy period for all teachers and now, me too! Lots of things to upload, lots of updates to do, lots and lots of don't know what..