Thursday, July 31, 2008
For those who miss Iggy
All you people who miss Iggy, here's some photo treat for all of you! It took me quite a while to get these pictures taken; not very good but at least something lah :D
Iggy looking curious.
Iggy looking curious.
Iggy eating her chicken
Iggy in her dream land
Iggy sulking.. No lah, that's because she got a big piece of chicken in her mouth
Iggy looking over my Dad's hand to see if it's safe to jump
Iggy with her classic shocked face
Iggy trying to explore outside her hamster ball
This picture made me go *awww*. She's so sweet..
Iggy trying to play Hide and Seek with me. I'm the seeker and she's the hider. As you can see, she's not very good at hiding.
Iggy, tired after play time.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The chance to learn drums the proper way, but am I taking it seriously? For the first week, I really did practice every day and then no more. Today during lesson felt so... I dragged the whole class down, that's the point.
Couldn't get the beat right and had to redo over and over again. Wasted so much time. Blame myself for not practicing early on. Now even Steff went to join the 'faster' class, poor Donald had to stick with me. So sorry :(
In the end, I'm the weakest link. How true (sad)
Seeing the next class moving so fast ahead, I felt quite useless. It's like because of me, my class is lagging behind. If only I could get it right during the first try, if only I count out loud and wouldn't lose track. If only my beats are good and steady. If only my groove is flowing and smooth.
What's the use of so many 'if-onlys'?
PRACTICE LAH!!
Why did I want to learn drums? I want to learn it the proper way so I can play properly. Next time when I serve on the ship or anyway else, at least there is one instrument I can play for. Now that the Church have so many drummers, I guess I'm not really needed.. Sometimes when I see there are so many drummers around, the point of learning drums became blurry.. Actually I know it's not.
Oh Grace, why are you thinking like this?
Grace, you don't have the natural talent. So, practice practice practice. It's so unfair to keep my class waiting. Hai~
I know I can, I know I can.. Wait for me?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Logos II final trip to the Caribbean came to an end. So, what's gonna happen to her? Though I have only been on board for a mere 2 months, but that ship held a lot of beautiful memories. I miss the dinning room, my D4 cabin, Frauke's cabin, the kiosk, laundry room, decks, book fair, iCafe and so many other places on the ship. Looks small on the outside, but quite huge on the inside.I miss walking up the stairs to the dinning room and koisk. I miss walking up and down the gangway. I miss the smell of sea salt and rust. All the time spend together in the ship is priceless. Small cabins but cosy. Small ship but family-like. Now I kind of miss the washrooms, the clinic, the kitchen, the offices, the main meeting room.. HAH :)
I hope Logos II will be put to good use. Maybe it can continue sailing for other good purposes. Pretty sure Logos II held a lot of memories for many others who have been on board. Such a beautiful ship. I will miss this "family" ship!
If there is one more chance, I want to go back on Logos II again. Take one last walk up the gangway. Sit around the kiosk area. Walk down to the dinning room. Walk down to my cabin. Enter my Cabin again. Sit on my bed. Visit the washroom again. Up to the bookhold and clinic. Up to the main meeting room, up to the book fair. Down to Frauke's and Gerdien's cabin. Down to the offices, kitchen and laundry room. Down to the blue and white room. Up to the decks again and finally one last walk down the gangway.
I miss you, Logos II. You're always be part of my memories :)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The smell of fresh cut grass, the sound of the wind rustling and the feeling of gentle breeze brushing across my face. I found my "heaven" in school.It's just a quite place in the sun just outside of Computer Lab 4, the place where I usually conduct my lesson. Everyday I pass by it, but it didn't matter much until today. While waiting for students to come, I walked over the "heaven" to get some sun. For the first time I look far and across, it was a beautiful sight. Though it's not as magnificent as those mountain views, lake views and whatever views; but the best view in school. Open green field, only a few high rise in sight, sometimes I see people/animals strolling by the park connector, nice air (even though it's quite near the road).
I went up to get more sun and do some reading after lunch. Nice afternoon sun and the quietness around made it perfect for reading and quiet time.
Being in "heaven" reminded me so much of the time I spend on Logos II's deck. I remember once while we were in Kiel, it was a sunny day and it was warm enough to not wear a jacket to go out. After white house duty, I went to bridge deck to do some reading and enjoy the rare, warm sun. It was really beautiful just sitting by the deck with the Bible in hand, legs up on the chair, facing the sea and enjoying the breeze. It wasn't long before I fell asleep. Thank goodness Frauke came and woke me up; else my sun tan would have gotten darker. Yes, I actually got sun tanned during autumn in Kiel! Frauke and I talked awhile before going for dinner. I remembered it was a wonderful day. The whole day was sunny and warm.
Ahhh... I like this kind of summer feeling.
I guess I would be spending more time in "heaven" then stuck in the air-conditioned lab.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I think for a moment in life you will wonder who you really are, what you are meant to be and why you are going through certain phrases in life. Sometimes I'm wondering, sometimes I'm confused, sometimes it's frustrating.The Bible gives us clear answers that we are God's children. I'm His beloved, I'm His most precious, I am the apple of His eye. But seriously, sometimes it all seems like words to me. Yes, there are times I really do feel very precious to Him; but this world is so polluting.. How can I remain precious?
God knows my thoughts, He knows everything that's going on. EVERYTHING. Come to think of it, it's scary. There's nothing to hide from God even though I want to.
Oh God, you must be really grieved to hear and see what's inside of me. You are righteous , how can you stand me? You are pure and holy, how can you stand listening to me? You are the almighty one, why didn't you strike me down?
All because You love me too much. God, teach me how to love You as much. Though it's not possible, I can never love You like You love me; but I just want to love You more.
Lord, let me not toy with sin. Let me not fall into temptations. Let me remain strong and steadfast. Hold me and pull me through.
_______________________________________________________________
I wrote a letter to J today. It will never be delivered, but I felt so much better writing all the thoughts down. I tore the letter up in the end; may "it" be gone with the letter. One of the reason for leaving is because of you. And I'm glad I left, else it would have gone rather deep. God showed me so many sights that He's not approving. And I'm only glad that I didn't ignore them. God, You're a Father that loves and discipline.
Thanks for the memories thought. I'm sure there's a reason for it. One day it might just become a testimony I can share about :)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I had a great time playing with Shann on Sunday! He was very grumpy at first, he slept pretty late the previous night. His dad gave me a candy and I manage to bribe him over...so evil of me! So, I fed him porridge and didn't have any for myself. Had to carried him all the way, such a baby that day! Shann isn't as light as before, his weight was breaking my arms. Thank goodness Dr Angelita carried him while we were in the lift.Shann didn't go for his Sunday school and stayed with the youth service. I carried him and sat behind. Soon, he began his little fun of knocking his head against my face and chest. Bear in mind his head is as hard as a rock; and he actually enjoy knocking his head against my head! Weird child. Then suddenly while I wasn't paying attention, he banged his head against my face! Please imagine how painful I must have felt. He felt nothing at all! Later Steff say that was his hobby.
Then Shann began making so much noise I had to bring him out. So, while outside I tried teaching him to say "playground", "jie jie" and "grace". He managed "jie jie" and "grace" but went "huh? huh? huh?" for "playground". Very cute, his "huh?" sounded so soft and innocent.
Shann is a cheeky boy; he pretends to sleep! I was trying to make him sleep, after a long time he's still not sleepy. So, to entertain me or make me feel better, he pretend to close his eyes and sleep. But it was so obvious lah! Half-close eyes, jerking eye lids and his cheeky smile.
Brought him into the room again. Very soon, he began making his noise. So, I went "shhh..". This time, Shann mimicked my "shhh..." It wasn't long before Steff brought him back to his parents.
Playing with children can be fun, but taking care of them 24/7... I think it's a total different thing. With other people's kid, once you had your fun.. you return the kid back and that's all. But if it's your kid, he/she is always there no matter how tired you are.
Well, I would want my own children in future too. I wonder how they will look.
Of course, it's gonna take a lot of courage to want them. But I trust God that my children will be alright with His protection. He is the one making them :)
First I need a husband :) HAHA.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
我們愛(讓世界不一樣)
我們愛(讓世界不一樣)
你和我是天父愛的創造
每個人有最美的夢想
一路上彼此照亮 扶持擁抱
我們的愛讓世界不一樣
我們愛 因神先愛我們
雖你我不一樣 我們一路唱
走往祝福的方向
我們愛 因神先愛我們
心再堅強也不要獨自飛翔
只要微笑 只要原諒,
有你愛的地方就是天堂
I missed Stream of Praise's Asia Tour last year. The day they came, was the day I flew to Germany. Anyway, that was almost a year ago. SOP came earlier this year, that was because we were their second country in their AT.
Last night was their first event at Bedok Gospel Hall. Nice church, nice building. It feels good to be able to help out again and seeing so many familiar faces. Most of the people that I thought would normally see during AT is not here this year. Lots of new faces.
The service was great. Really nice songs this year.
I guess it's always great to be in the presence of God. No, it's ALWAYS great to be with God (don't have to guess)! Worshipping with all the others brought tears to my eyes, it's touching!
Personally I'm facing some problems. Problems not told to anyone in Church or any close friends (so, you can stop guessing now), it was so mentally and emotionally draining me. So much so, even the thoughts of walking away from God came to me. I was on the brime of walking back into the dark.. Seriously when this kind of things happen, normally I would seek help. But this time, I'm just too ashame to do so.. I didn't even want to talk about it with God, I don't even want to face it; yet it's always right in front of my face. I was so confused..
Then, yesterday while Frank was sharing.. It came to me that certain things I don't have to be confused about. The answer is there, simply there. I can't say I'm alright from my problem now.. But at least now I'm sure God is with me and was with me.
I just pray that God will speak to me more during these few days of event and during Go Forth Conference.. I just want to open myself and let Him work in me..
Oh, the above song is from their latest album. Nice song, another hit next to "Precious Corner" I suppose!
你和我是天父愛的創造
每個人有最美的夢想
一路上彼此照亮 扶持擁抱
我們的愛讓世界不一樣
我們愛 因神先愛我們
雖你我不一樣 我們一路唱
走往祝福的方向
我們愛 因神先愛我們
心再堅強也不要獨自飛翔
只要微笑 只要原諒,
有你愛的地方就是天堂
I missed Stream of Praise's Asia Tour last year. The day they came, was the day I flew to Germany. Anyway, that was almost a year ago. SOP came earlier this year, that was because we were their second country in their AT.
Last night was their first event at Bedok Gospel Hall. Nice church, nice building. It feels good to be able to help out again and seeing so many familiar faces. Most of the people that I thought would normally see during AT is not here this year. Lots of new faces.
The service was great. Really nice songs this year.
I guess it's always great to be in the presence of God. No, it's ALWAYS great to be with God (don't have to guess)! Worshipping with all the others brought tears to my eyes, it's touching!
Personally I'm facing some problems. Problems not told to anyone in Church or any close friends (so, you can stop guessing now), it was so mentally and emotionally draining me. So much so, even the thoughts of walking away from God came to me. I was on the brime of walking back into the dark.. Seriously when this kind of things happen, normally I would seek help. But this time, I'm just too ashame to do so.. I didn't even want to talk about it with God, I don't even want to face it; yet it's always right in front of my face. I was so confused..
Then, yesterday while Frank was sharing.. It came to me that certain things I don't have to be confused about. The answer is there, simply there. I can't say I'm alright from my problem now.. But at least now I'm sure God is with me and was with me.
I just pray that God will speak to me more during these few days of event and during Go Forth Conference.. I just want to open myself and let Him work in me..
Oh, the above song is from their latest album. Nice song, another hit next to "Precious Corner" I suppose!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Do you feel threaten at times?Not like a knife point or gun point kind of threaten, but emotionally and mentally kind of threaten?
It's scary to know that such thing do exist. Last Sunday, I was at a point of feeling threaten and at risk. I don't know. At the moment, I just felt that I have lost my identity.
"Can we call you racerace or yanting instead?" That hurts actually.
So, the "Grace" have been replaced?
It's not like I've never encounter similar "Grace" event before, we got along pretty well... but this time; it's just weird. I'm actually rejecting it. It even came to a point that I thought, maybe I should just change to a less common name.
So, with all the new people coming in. I couldn't figure out why I'm not embracing them like I should as a Christian, as a senior. I feel rejected, or maybe it's me rejecting them. I feel angry, I feel invaded.
Maybe after all, I'm not used to changes.
"Do I just let the tide take me under, or let my fascination reign all over me?"
Did I just lost my identity?
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Walking in school today, while looking at the ground.. I realize I have many different colored socks, but non of them are white. Back in Secondary and Primary school, all I had were white socks.Now, I kinda miss wearing white socks.
Flashbacks of times when our socks are knee length height. The higher the better. Then from knee length sock, the trend change to rolling sock. We pull it high up then we roll it down to our ankle. After that it's the invisible sock. The shorter the better, the best if it couldn't be seen.
Now, it doesn't matter what color or length I wear; no body can see them. You won't know which day I'm wearing my spongebob sock or when I'm wearing my pink hamtaro sock :D
I still miss white socks. Clean white comfy socks.. I love the feeling of wearing brand new socks...
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Finally out of my 666th post; this is my 667th post. Wow, that much?
Anyway, today was somehow painful. Painful as in my darling wisdom tooth is causing me pain in the gum again. Second time in a row, it's causing my gum to be infected. Should I go to a dentist?
The last time I went, the dentist said let it grow. She gave me some antibiotics and painkillers. So, what is she gonna give me this time? Maybe I should be like Steffie; remove it!
I have 3, one is nearly all grown out; left with 2 still in between all the gum tissues.. Sometimes it causes gum infection, sometimes ulcers, sometimes it just irritates me by brushing against my cheek!
Why is it called wisdom tooth anyway; it doesn't give me wisdom... right?
Anyway, today was somehow painful. Painful as in my darling wisdom tooth is causing me pain in the gum again. Second time in a row, it's causing my gum to be infected. Should I go to a dentist?
The last time I went, the dentist said let it grow. She gave me some antibiotics and painkillers. So, what is she gonna give me this time? Maybe I should be like Steffie; remove it!
I have 3, one is nearly all grown out; left with 2 still in between all the gum tissues.. Sometimes it causes gum infection, sometimes ulcers, sometimes it just irritates me by brushing against my cheek!
Why is it called wisdom tooth anyway; it doesn't give me wisdom... right?
Monday, July 07, 2008
We went to settlers for a session of game and food after Church on Sunday. It was my first time there; it wasn't a bad experience! At first I was reluctant to go, I'm not really interested in board games anyway (there's other reasons too), but went in the end. We played a number of games; games I never knew existed and could be fun. I guess the group counts too. Loads of laughing and drinking (cause it's free flow drinks). The food sucks by the way.
When the session ended, we dropped by PS for dinner and a short walk around. I'm tempted to bring Iggy to Church next week!
Wanted to introduce Ligretto to the group, but the cafe didn't carry the game. It's really fun and never a moment anyone is kept waiting! I had so much fun with it while I was on Logos 2.. Maybe I should get hold of it someday.Ligretto is a card game for two to twelve players. The aim of the game is to get rid of all your cards faster than all the other players by discarding them in the middle of the table. Instead of taking turns, all players play simultaneously. Play is fast and lively, and demands attention to the cards being played by others as well as one's own cards. We should all play, since we are all so violent.
Drum lesson was tough for me. I couldn't get my high-hat, bass drum and snare to coordinate well together. I always lift up my high-hat on the 1st and 3rd beat instead of the 2nd and 4th; retarded left leg. Almost wanted to give up, I was like slowing the whole group down.. But thankfully I didn't and we all manage to move on to fill-ins. Next 2 weeks no lesson, so practice on our own.
Ok lah, knock off time. Go home play with Iggy and change her bedding. She smells now.. and I think she's running a fever. Does hamster have fever??
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Sometimes I still cannot believe that I have went and came back from Germany, Faroe Islands and Iceland. Seems like a fantasy.. God you're awesome!!Friday, July 04, 2008
TWA Luke 11:5-8
Luke 11:5-8
And He said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
God will listen, God will care. This is what the verse is trying to tell us. Many times when we pray, we came to Him with a fear that we might disturbing God.
"Maybe God has far more important things to do then to listen to this little problem of mine."
We didn't dare to ask, we didn't dare to seek. How amazingly, God uses this parable to ensure us that He is not like that.
"God is a true and loving friend, one to whom we can bring all our needs, our troubles, and our problems because He will listen, and He will care! But God also wants us to be persistent, not to browbeat or pester Him for an answer, but rather, because we so believe in Him, and we want to express to Him just how much we really trust Him even when the answer doesn’t come immediately. It’s an expression of relentless faith which so pleases Him."
"If this uncooperative neighbor finally gives a loaf to his friend, how much more will our Heavenly Father give to us, His children, if we come to Him with believing faith? As long as we ask according to His will [1 John 5:14], we can confidently bring our requests, and even if we need to dig in and wait for His answers, it’s because we know that our trust in His love and generosity will make Him so happy."
Waiting can be a long process and a test of our patience. I remembered waiting for 2 whole months before finally hearing the confirmation to go on Logos 2. Those time were so hard to past.. But God wants me to wait and trust in Him. During those time, I prayed that I can go but at the same time may God's will be done. And I also believed that if God wants me to go, He will open all doors for me.
I got confirmation 2 weeks before I flew to Germany. In such a short time, I had to get so many things done. I had to seek permission from school to leave attachment early (2 times!), get air ticket, insurance, things to bring over, cold weather clothings, and the most important thing... Get the money ready. With only one week left before flying, I still didn't have any money with me. We're not talking about a few hundred dollars, but a few thousand here. My faith and waiting paid off.. All was well in the end.
It reminds me so much of this parable.. All the asking, praying and getting from God.
Thank you, God :)
And He said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
God will listen, God will care. This is what the verse is trying to tell us. Many times when we pray, we came to Him with a fear that we might disturbing God.
"Maybe God has far more important things to do then to listen to this little problem of mine."
We didn't dare to ask, we didn't dare to seek. How amazingly, God uses this parable to ensure us that He is not like that.
"God is a true and loving friend, one to whom we can bring all our needs, our troubles, and our problems because He will listen, and He will care! But God also wants us to be persistent, not to browbeat or pester Him for an answer, but rather, because we so believe in Him, and we want to express to Him just how much we really trust Him even when the answer doesn’t come immediately. It’s an expression of relentless faith which so pleases Him."
"If this uncooperative neighbor finally gives a loaf to his friend, how much more will our Heavenly Father give to us, His children, if we come to Him with believing faith? As long as we ask according to His will [1 John 5:14], we can confidently bring our requests, and even if we need to dig in and wait for His answers, it’s because we know that our trust in His love and generosity will make Him so happy."
Waiting can be a long process and a test of our patience. I remembered waiting for 2 whole months before finally hearing the confirmation to go on Logos 2. Those time were so hard to past.. But God wants me to wait and trust in Him. During those time, I prayed that I can go but at the same time may God's will be done. And I also believed that if God wants me to go, He will open all doors for me.
I got confirmation 2 weeks before I flew to Germany. In such a short time, I had to get so many things done. I had to seek permission from school to leave attachment early (2 times!), get air ticket, insurance, things to bring over, cold weather clothings, and the most important thing... Get the money ready. With only one week left before flying, I still didn't have any money with me. We're not talking about a few hundred dollars, but a few thousand here. My faith and waiting paid off.. All was well in the end.
It reminds me so much of this parable.. All the asking, praying and getting from God.
Thank you, God :)
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Things isn't helping. Being posted to KC is not making it better. Ever since I graduated from Secondary school, no mandarin lesson from then on. Now, I find my mandarin getting from bad to worse! KC is an English speaking school, all the students converse in English. Back in Church, most of us converse in English as well. At this rate, my mandarin will go down the drain one day. 10 years of mandarin lesson will be wasted.I need someone to converse in proper mandarin to me. Maybe some chance to practice writing Chinese characters too. Writing, not typing.
I don't want to lose the ability to speak mandarin and write in Chinese. Help!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Now that I'm a teacher in school, I don't feel like one. Instead, I felt like a student there. While lining up to get food, I seemed to blend in well with the students. Walking around the school, I felt like I'm a student there! Well, maybe it's me. But it's weird to have students calling you "teacher!", "Ms Grace" and "Ms Loo". My students' age are the same as the people I interact with in Church; so you see the weirdness?Sunday I'm in Church mixing well with Shermine and Matthew, they treat me like a friend (I hope they did!); then Monday back in school, I'm around people of their age, but they treat me like a teacher... WEIRD.
Same age group, different experience.
Too young to be called a teacher? AHAHAHAHA!
Glad to be hearing from Frauke again; hope to see you soon!
These few days didn't practice drums; must find time already! Thanks steffie for teaching me the theory part; actually not really difficult. You got the talent to become a teacher..
Talking about time, Sunday's youth worship spoke to me. It's crazy how we can spend so much time on the internet and other things, but not on God. What's so difficult? I mean, I myself find it difficult, but WHY? Of course when talking to a friend, you get response... but doesn't God also give responses; through His words? Figure that out..
Knock off time!
