The Grace in Grace

Just came back from the meeting I had with Rod. We had a meaningfull chat and learn something. Building a business is not easy, keeping it going will be even harder. However, I believe that I can pull through since God put me in it.

Finally I finish the praise and worship workshop. Most of the people who attended were adults, seem like I am the youngest there. The workshop is not bad actually, learn something.

Sunday again tomorrow, but I feel so friday today. Oh~ Look at the time! It's sunday morning already! That means I will be getting my results tomorrow! I'm both excited and nervous about it-- But, all unto God's hand no matter what happen.

This few days have been great, I had a great time with God, but it's not enough, I want more! I want to know God more, love him deeper and more! Praise the Lord, I got my pay from Giant. Didn't know my pay was so much, got about $600. When you are willing to give to God, God will be willing to give to you.

Smsed Adrian today, he actually called me back. He was asking if I am interested to join TYEM for the time being since I am not working. I would like to, but he asked me to get my results and consider first. Yeah, think it will be better too. Praise the Lord, He know that I don't have income and got Adrian to come into the picture. God is simply magnificent and wonderful.

I'm learning everyday and God has interesting lessons for me each day. Time is passing fast for me, maybe because I'm making good use of it, that's why time passes fast. Amen!

I will be going out soon for my Praise and Worship workshop. When I finished my washed up, I am surprised that Roy smsed me. I had forgotten him, no longer am I thinking about him, no longer do I wait for his sms-- There again, he pop into my life again. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.. Actually, I do miss him, but the feelings I had for him is gone.. He appears more like a friend to me now-- Really? Oh well.. ya, when he was away.. But when he smsed me again, I was like.. How much I want to tell him I miss him, and am very,really,happy to see him back. I shall not arouse love when it's not desire. God will guide me, I know where should my concentration be now..

I find myself.. wanting to sms him, but.. there's something stopping me. I wish he can call me, just talk to me..or carry on the sms conversation.. But Gracie understand..things happen for a reason. Oh well, I will not let this affect me. God knows the way for me, Amen!

Got to go prepare myself, don't feel like styling my hair today..HmMmm... Haha,ok, Gracie will not be lazy.

Praise the Lord, I really want to praise God's name. He is ever wonderful! Amen! Just came back from the conference, the sermon today is magnificent! Talks about pride, the number one sin. People would usually think the number one sin is killing, rape all that. But world's number one sin is pride. Pride can kill, cause a downfall of a nation, of a person, of a company. As mention in the Bible, God hated pride and proud people. Humility is the gateway to success. Amen yeah! Learn so much today and took down so much notes. Praise the Lord. Tonight, I grew to love God more, more passionate about Him. God, thank you for giving me the chance to know you, the permission to love you and be loved. Praise the Lord, Amen!

Jesus often teach us to be humble, to be meek. Today I leant that, meekness is not weakness. Meekness is strength! Blessed are the meek. Prof Ekman speak about Matt 11:28-30, come to the Lord all those who are weak. Come to Him, and he shall give you rest. Jesus gave each of us the right to seek him and find rest.

Once again I am taught to be humble, this time it's for real. My new journey has just started, it's going to be refreshing, filled with God's grace and armed with God's strength. I am going to lead my life with humility, be like Jesus. It's not going to be easy, but I can do it.

Isn't it funny? Humans are the ones that made his/her life tough and difficult. All because of one reason. Pride. Pride can cause a meek person to become a beast. Life can be good, can be easy-- just live with humility. Humility makes life easy. At the back of fear, there is pride. We are dead in Christ Jesus, people cannot judge a dead person, dead man have no fear. We shouldn't fear, because we are dead in Christ Jesus. Fear not, because fear is defeated. One interesting fact that the speaker mention, if people don't like me, God bless them. If people like me, God bless them too. Great huh? Amen! Humans have pride because of the lack of trust. They want to show off what they have-- What's the point? It's just like when you score good results, you go around boasting. but once, the report book is close, who cares? Pride kills and God resist the proud. Don't fight with God, be humble and God will fight for you. Pride is reacting to the lie, where humility is reacting to the truth. Humble people are strong in the spirit.

People might think, a humble person is week, but no! Humble people is not meek, they are strong! Humility is resting on somebody bigger, our God! Often we tend to blow things up, make it big when it's small at first. Reality is exciting enough. When we have pride, we will always be nervous. Nervous that others will overtake us, people will do better than us. Do not compare, for whenever you compare, there will always be someone or something bigger and better. One thing that Prof Ekman mention, which I never did take note. We all know that Jesus didn't die for nothing. He died for something yeah?--- Jesus didn't die for nothing, we are that something. Amen! If everyone hates me, I know God loves me still. Mary, Jesus' mother is an example of a humble servent. Obedience is humility, to be humble is to obey.

The speaker did share with us, about an incident that he didn't comit. He was taken to court, he was depress cause he didn't comit the offence. God spoke to him, "be like Jesus." He didn't know what it mean, so he asked God. God told him, "Jesus died for the sins he didn't commit." Jesus' love for us, who or what can compare to Him?

Don't have to prove anything when you know who you are and what you are doing. This message is powerful.. We are nothing in Christ Jesus, but we are everything In Christ Jesus. We can't do anything without Jesus, but we can do anything with Christ Jesus. Amen, Praise the Lord!

When the sermon end, I felt that I have learnt a lot. I was so touched at the end of the conference, while singing the last two songs, I teared and teared. When things seems impossible, run to God. When you feel that you can't go on, run to God. When you feel you are all left alone, God is there. When you feel that everyone hates you, God loves you. Jesus said, come to him. God opens His arm to all that is willing to go to Him. Yes, Praise the Lord. I truely understand tonight-- God will always be there, and that's a promise. God never break His promise. No matter how weak I get, how tired I get of my life, of my career, God will always be there for me to run to. Jesus said, come to Him. I'm loving Him deeper, deeper then ever. Now, I can say from my heart, I TRUELY love God. Not only do I obey, I love Him too, much more deeper. Amen!

Many times I broke God's heart, He forgave me. I broke mine and He mend it for me. I hurt Him, but He forgive me. I hurt myself, and God is always there to wrap my wound, to heal me. God, I don't deserve all this, but by your grace, you set me free, you love me and you promise you will forever be. God, all that I do, I do it for you. Let me learn to be a true servant, to serve with humility. I Love You God! Amen..

CROSSING OVER CITY HARVEST CHURCH Key: G Worship

WE COME BEFORE YOUR THRONE
OUR HEARTS WE GIVE TO YOU
WE LONG TO SEE YOUR KINGDOM COME
AND BRING YOUR TRUTH TO ALL THE EARTH

NATIONS WILL CRY OUT YOUR NAME
SEND US TO YOUR HARVEST LORD WE PRAY

BY YOUR SPIRIT O LORD WE CLAIM THE NATIONS
OF THE WORLD FOR YOU JESUS
POUR DOWN YOUR RAIN
HOLY SPIRIT MOVE IN US TODAY
BY YOUR SPIRIT O LORD
WE CLAIM THE NATIONS
OF THE WORLD FOR YOU JESUS
BY YOUR WORD OF TRUTH WE'RE CROSSING OVER
TO WIN THE LOST FOR YOU
YOUR CROSS BEFORE OUR EYES

I'm listening to the song Adriel sent me, it's the third time already, but I'm not tired of the song. Amen, Praise the Lord! I feel so fired up right now, God's passion is in me. I'm ready to go all the way out, I shall not fear, I shall not be ashame. God will always be there, He will carry me through! Amen! Going to the conference later and I am excited! How I wish I can talk about God like this with all my friends, with all my church friends. God, I long to see Yio Chu Kang Gospel Hall revive, and worship you whole heartedly. Adriel told me, God put me in my church for a reason-- I agree. There's a reason why things happen.

Many times, I wanted to leave Yio Chu Kang, but something is holding me back. I wanted to move to City Harvest Church, but something is holding me back. Now, I know, God wants me to stay, and I will.

Today, just moments ago, I learn another thing. Actually I know this since young, but I sort of put it aside. Again, Adriel help me revive it. He was flipping the Bible when he came to Romans 14. I read it on the spot as the Bible is just beside me. It's about judgeing. Unconsiously I have been judgeing, but I realise my mistake. When I listen to Crossing Over, tears will rolling. Adriel said it was meant to be a joke, but it's a joke turned lesson.

Somthing happen as I'm typing. My singnet connection just got cut off, but I'm not irritated this time. God is with me. Satan can't do anything, satan is defeated. Amen.. Praise the Lord, I am not at all angry compare to last time. God, thank you!

Adriel and me had great vision for IM Learning Technology and 7Faith. There's a vision playing in my head now.. I see myself and many others.. Rising up for God, we are running.. Running into the dark, leading the people in there, out. We are warriors, strong and armed with Faith. We are not afraid of anything, because God is there. We are running, never will we get tired. We are filled with passion! God's people all around the world, satan has no where to stand. All the earth, filled with God's children. We soar like an eagle with God, above all storm, above all. We will run the race, we will finish the course, we will keep the faith. By the sprit of God, we clam the nations!

God is just wonderful! I shall be preparing for church now. Be back later to update!

Just got back from City Harvest Church, the service was great! I sang with all my heart, on top of my voice, prayed and prayed.. God is just so wonderful! Learnt a lot in today's conference, the topic is about "Missions and Missionaries". All along, I have wanted to be a missionarie and serve God, but I never really knew what it takes to be one. Tonight, is the night God planed for me. I reached church at about 5p.m and had a super duper hard time finding the rest. First I went down two wrong staircases, then I have to climb all the way up to get myself a drink! My leg was shaking when I settled down. But, oh well... Let this be a little exercise for me. We waited for like 2 hours before we get into the main hall. Before worship starts, there's the healing tape playing. Adriel sitting beside me was telling me that it is very touching.. Indeed it is! I teared.. Worship was wonderful, I sang with all my heart, even when my voice is not well yet. I sing for God, not for any others.

Sermon was magnificent! My favorite pastor, Prof. Ulf Ekman, came to speak! The last time I attended his sermon, I recieved the gift of speaking in tounges. As mention, in every nation, the harvest is plenty, but the workers are few. Each believers have been called the sent ones. Looking for missionaries, look into the mirror! If there's a place that don't recieve you, there WILL be a place that will. Amen! Where Jesus is, you shall be! Yeah! For me, I have always wanted to visit Myanmar, one of the reason is En Hua Lao Shi and the other is, to reach out to there. Prof Ekman mention this which I agree to a great extent: I am not a Singaporean, I am a citizen in God's kingdom! Heaven is close no matter where you are. I can be under the drain, under some tunnel, but heaven is close.. I can die in some unknow country, but I'm not staying there! I'm going up to heaven!

Many times I am discouraged, I feared for no reasons, I worried for small things. I know this is the work of satan. Often I forgot God's promises to me, but from today.. I shall not. Fear not, because fear is defeated! Satan cannot stop me, satan is defeated! My ultimate purpose is to spread the gospel! Yes, I may be doing my business, but that won't stop me from fulfilling my purpose. I can be an entrepreneur, at the same time a missionarie. Faith is not a feeling, faith is a fact! Amen!! There's a world out there waiting for us to help, there's a world out there waiting to hear the gospel.. Instead of always preaching to the ones who have already known God, give the chance to those who haven and is waiting!

Becoming a missionarie is not that easy also, must be able to endure hardship and have the willingness to serve. Pastor Kong once mention, to become a real leader, become a true servent. Also, we should set our mind on heavenly things, not earthly things. Nothing on earth will endure or even last, only God's love!

Things learnt today is great. Never worship blessings, worship the blesser, our God! Jesus will provide! When Jesus plans, He will provide! Amen! When Prof Ekman finishes his sermon, I thought about the company. As I was thinking, God spoke to me. Prof Ekman was telling us publicity stuff that his church did, and don't know why I thought of IM Learning Technology. God says, "You are doing this for me." Amen! Praise the Lord. Yes! What I am doing now is for God. I may not be a good testimony now, but I will be a good one. As I touch the hearts of the youth, I want to share with them my "hope" that came to me in my lowest point of my life. Might not have to do with the business, just me. But I vision IM Learning Technology will spread gospel and warmth too.

At the end of the service, we sang "Shout to the Lord", I guess the whole worship hall really shouted. We are singing for joy! This is what it should be like, brothers and sisters gather together, praising the Lord, lifting His name on high! As we sing, I can feel our spirits united, out hearts united. God is just so wonderful! I Love You
God!! I'm going again tomorrow!

Oh ya.. one more things. As Pastor Kong was asking for offering for their mission trips, I was like, "This is not my church, should I give?" God gave me an answer. So what if CHC is not my church, they are doing God's work! They are reaching out, helping people, spreading the gospel! I gave offering. Amen, Praise the Lord.

I'm going to bath now and enjoy my ice cream! Oh ya, this few morning, I have been experiencing stomach cramp when I woke up in the morning. Don't know what happen, usually my cramp would last at most 2 days, but I have been getting it when I woke up. God, heal me, take the pain away. I know God you know what to do. I put my faith in you.

This computer is irritating! I was in a happy mood typing my day out, how happy i was, how motivated I was. Then when I want to pubish the post, it didn't and it went blank some more! What the fish! Idoit! Arg! Shit this computer! Arg! Let me just vent my anger now, damn so angry! I was in such a good mood, thinking about my dream, thinking about my dream house all that, and this stupid computer just spoilt the whole thing. Shit you! I am typing loudly now, spoli this kepboard! Shit you! Arg!

As I am angrily typing here, I can hear God's words ringing in my ears, "In your angry do not sin." God, let me just calm down with my anger. Just retype the whole thing Gracie, don't let this affect your beautiful mood! Arg! Gracie, calm down ya? Calm down and relive your wonderful mood.

I'm back from my break, feeling much better now. Not going to let this shitty computer spoil my mood. Retype the whole things, things happen for a reason yeah. Amen!

As I was typing..

Tuesday afternoon and Gracie was recharged! Si Yun was then asking me some questions through e-mail. Those questions made me think and relive my passion and dream. The feelings is back! The same feeling I felt that year in 2003. I still remember that faithful day in 2003. It was after the final year, the school send me and a few more other student leaders to the Noth East CDC Young Leaders' Day. I was highly motivated after the talk by Ms. Elim Chew. I went home that day, sat on my sofa and wrote my composition on the My Voice paper from 77th Street. I was emotional then, and was happy when I wrote my feelings down on the paper. The great thing is, when the book was published, my voice was inside! Back to the topic... From that day onwards, I kept dreaming and till now, I had event taken actions to make my dream come through!

That day was really a day for Gracie. I was walking aimlessly and even though I has dreams, they were not firm. I wanted to become an interior designer, well-known in Singapore and even the world. Made my milion at the age of 40. My passion was burning hot then, but slowly it died down. Untill I attended the Young Leaders' Day, my life changed! Adam Khoo started me off, Elim Chew carried me through and Grace walk on the journey with God.

As I was typing my reply to Si Yun's e-mail. Memories flashed back in my mind. Those dreams that I set, it didn't died down, just that I have put them behind. Today I relive them again. I thought about my dream house, dream car and dream company building. My dream house, a big town house, 4 story high. Three story above ground level and one basement, which is the car park. A beautiful garden for Mum to do her gardening, or if she don't like gardening, at least she can spend her time watering the flowers. Besides the garden, I going to get Mum a big and nice kitchen for her. She can then invite her friends or even family members from Malaysia to eat over! For Dad, I will have a place specially for him and his pet birds! He can bath them and sun tan them. He can even invite his friends over to "watch" birds together. As for Aunt Helen, she can invite her friends over for fellowship and uncle Job will have his very own ironing room! The house is big, but will never be empty. My house is not only going to be warmth, it's going to be relaxing. After a day's work, going home will never be a chore anymore. At the basement, parked there will be my black 4 seaters convertable, a 7 seaters family sport car and a trendy sport bike! Side of the house I will have a swimmig pool.. or should I have it in the middle? More creative? Haha, depends on the designer! Aunt and uncles will stay under the same roof, so my parents will not be lonely when I'm out working. My house will be in the east side? I don't know why, but I enjoyed staying in the east. Nice and wonderful environment, best if there is a park near by. Not too near the road, not too far as well, so that Mum can go to the market without walking too much. Oh I understand her, she wouldn't like being ferried around even when I got her someone to drive her around personally. In this case, friends won't have difficulty finding our house!

I remembered my missionarie dream and bacpacking dream too. One day, I am going on my bacpack trip, to where? I'll see where I want to go. Oh ya! At the same time, I can carry out my missionarie dream too! As I travel, I can do God's words too! It's wonderful to think about all this, it pushes me to work harder and be more determinated! What a great afternoon!

My shitty computer again. Couldn't log on to the net, untill now. Thought the mordem is changed? How come still like that? Shitty means shitty..haiz~ Time to change the whole computer? But that means I will have to wait for a long long time again! Oh no!!! Without computer, it's hard for me to get things done man. Human can't live without computer now, I mean..things won't be done so qucikly wthout them.. Oh well... Human brains are better yeah? Hahaa

Gracie is not feeling well today. Think my body system is shutting down to rest! I fall sick once every year, or even twice. No matter how strong a person is, when you didn't take care, your body system will protest and shut it down for resting.Logic huh?

I haven been blogging for a few weeks, my computer was sent to repair.It was only yeaterday that I got my computer back with the CPU changed. A few things happened, but not sure if I am gonna type it all out.. AhAHaa..

Yesterday was a busy day, whole of my day was packed. Finally I know how it's like to be busy, the whole day long. I woke up at 5.30a.m in the morning, haven been doing so since I left school. Left house with Lawrence like say.. 6.15a.m? We then went to the interchange for breakfast--We had prawn noodles! It has been ages since I last had a proper breakfast. Lawrence came over to my place for a stay over. He wore my tee shirt and shots! Haha! He looked funny in them. He slept in my room, while I slept in the other, so, nothing happen ya! HAhAaa... After breakfast, we made our way to EXPO MRT and met the rest there. We were down to help TYEM in ITE EAST open house. Our job is simple, just do some registration, sell some books and that's all! This is much much more better than my job in Giant. Well, I guess because this is what I am passionate about, that's why I don't even mind getting up 5.30 in the morning!

At the ITE open house, a few speakers came to speak. I didn't know Ms. Elim Chew and Dr. Andrew Goh was there in the first place. The last time I went to their talk was like 2 years ago! I was surprise when I saw Elim's name tag on the reception table. Both and Rod was inspired when we saw Elim dressed in her suit. Though we saw her from a distance, but we can feel her charm from where we are*Amazing* It pushes me and Rod to work even harder to achieve the company's goal and personal goal. During break, Elim saw us at the "My Voice" counter and came over to say "Hi". Saw Nickson Fong at the open house too. I did manage to sit in during Elim's and Andrew's talk, they were just simply great. After 2 years, I still enjoyed Elim's talk and her "Words to lead by" just inspired me again.

After the open house, I went home to get my things, rested for a while and off I went to church for bible class and skit training for Easter Day. Fa Wang Lao Shi drove us to Chomp Chomp for our dinner and treated us sugar cane drinks! A cooling drink in such a freaking weather. I stayed in church till 8p.m and set off to East Coast Park for Giant's gathering. They were kind, even though I left Giant already, they still ask me back.Giant's pit was pit 60, a long long long long walk from the hawker center. I was walking and thought I went the wrong way! The pit was so far far far away, took me 15 mins? I didn't eat much at the BBQ, only drink. Had a great chatting session with Alice. She shared a lot of things with me and also her experienc in the US. AHha, she went to US because of her boyfriend. Me and Alice talked most of the time. Can't imagine a 40 plus lady and a 16 going 17 girl got so much to talk about? Believe it. We went home together, left the pit like 12a.m and walk for like 10 mins along the road untill we saw a taxi. There's something I don't like about east coast, hard to go in, hard to get out. Reached home like almost 1a.m. A day ended like that. A long day, but it's a well used day. Been long since I had a wonderful day, not an hour wasted.Amen, Praise the Lord!

I resigned from Giant and am now jobless, enjoy first. *AHHAaa* I was then having a heard time deciding to stay or to quit. I quited at last. Still remember that day, I was thinking about this issue the whole time when I was working. I was wondering if I should seek Elim's and Mrs Chan's advice before I make any choice, but oh well. I when in the office and signed the resign from. After work that day, think it's the third day of Chinese New Year, I went to Mrs Chan's place and visitied her. She put on weight after her opertation. She still looked the same, still the "mother" of Gracie in Bedok North. Had dinner at her place and went to Far East after that. I had a hard time finding Far East Plaza.When I finally reached, I was like," Oh.. There's 3 77th street here, which one should I go first?" I was trying my luck on the 2nd level,I think, and found Elim talking to her friends. HAhaa, God loves me and know that I'm tired. We chatted and I told her I resigned from my job. She offered me some advice and that really enlightens me. While chatting, I told her," When you're a worker, you work for 8 hours. When you become a boss, you work for 16 hours". Then, she said," Put it in this way. Work 8 hours and you think like a worker. Work for 16 hours, you think like a boss." *Correct me if I'm wrong pal* What's she trying to say is, we should give more than what we are asked for. Work not for the sake of working. She's right!

I missed my Ah Bu, SiYun. Didn't go to church today because not feeling well. I have yet to sent my letter to En Hua Lao Shi. Oh well, think tt's all I wanna blog.

Am I Red or what?? 

"Red" People..Almost all are Sunburned 

I like this picture somehow.. 

Miao Miao Children Camp 

Gracie, Dia's Mum, Wan Yi 

Shopping!! 

A' Famosa 

Turtel shell anyone? 

Dessert anyone? 

Camp picture! In the history room!!