The Grace in Grace

Not a bad week since school started, just a little quieter from the previous class I was in. Somehow better for learning also; Praise God! Guess what, I'm the only one from my class in DBSY lab lesson and that means I have to be independent now! I used to just wait for answers to come or simply look over to Dino's computer if I'm stuck. Now, I mean for the last lesson; I'm able to finish most of the pratical questions on my own! Wahaha.. *Geee*

The whole class celebrated the April's and May's babies' birthday. Got a heart-shaped metal "message" from the class; thanks! So, we cut cake and ate in the lecture theather. A little moment of fun since we last gathered as a class. A three hour break before the next lesson, so we went for breakfast at Favours and library to catch a nap. Met Violet on the way, she had her cart there. Bought a ring form her; she said it was a destiny ring wore by Korean woman and it was believed that after they wore that ring they would meet the better half. Well, I bought it from her to support the marketing project.

STMD lab wasn't that boring after all, dealing with media and videos. Had breaks in between and caught up with the lecturer with the rest of the class.

This whole week has been busy preparing for this Sunday's BBQ. Texting people and making confirmation. So many things to do, little time. Gotta plan Praise and Worship time-slots for youth ministry, meetings, new CCAs, BBQ, projects, leading Praise and Worship, updating song list for Praise and Worship Ministry... and the list goes on and on. This is life and the kick comes in kicking! Busy, good!!

Read a few people's blog and sometimes have to agree with what they type. It's so much more easier to be a follower than a leader? Don't know, sometimes it's hard to be a GOOD follower too! Leaders doesn't produce followers, they produce leaders! It's hard being a leader, even tougher to be a good leader! Trust in the Lord that since He put you in it, He will pull you through.

I've been eating alot.. HELP!!! Alright, gonna go sleep now.. BBQ shopping tomorrow moring at Loyang with a few crazy people. Save me!!

About 10 more mintues before the next class starts; so here I am in the lab updating this blog. This computer screen is making my vision blurred! Third day of school, nothing much actually. Projects are up!

Want to find out about the truth about Humpty Dumpty?

It's weird today, time seem to fly by super fast. Church service over, youth service over and our weekly lunch is over for the week too! It seems like it happen just a few minutes ago. Valerie just changed her cellphone to the model which I actually wanted to change to. Somehow, whatever I'm thinking; the other party will have the same thought.

It's sad to know that my cellphone value has drop to only 100bucks! Oh my goodness, I bought it just last year for 500 bucks! I think that shop cheated my money. People, whatever you do; DO NOT go to the shop near Prima Deli to buy/sell your cellphone! That shop is a cheater bug!

School re-open tomorrow, first lesson starts at 9a.m. Thursdays and Fridays starts at 8a.m! New class, new people, not that new faces. IDES lab again; I dislike using iMac!

So tired just now, I slept for half and hour on the bus; maybe more than half an hour. There's a reason why I enjoy long journey! Actually thought I could make it to the Church camp this year, but somehow my holidays starts at the end of the month. Plus, I pretty sure there will be lots of projects to do during that holiday.

Easter BBQ this coming sunday! By Wednesday, FW's wife will comfirm with me the number of dishes the church choir members are bringing. Then on Saturday, maybe me and Cheryl will go get the rest of the stuff and later dump it at Eunice's place. Sunday after church, buy the rest of the things we need and it's off to Eunice's place. BBQ!! Praise God I'm all well to eat BBQed food!

CHC service this Saturday?

A journey to the South today. The trip to Bible college alone can kill, it took me more than 3 hours of travelling for the going and coming! However, it was worth it. I reached there half an hour early and I was only allow to sign in at 2p.m. What to do? Sat there and read my Bible since that's the only book I had with me. Fa Wang Lao Shi signed me up under the Teacher category; and I think it surprised the speaker. I was sitting alone in the lecture hall when the speaker came to ask if I was a Teacher, cause I look really young!

Short lecture then break for a while before the games started. Not a bad day actually, the games were interesting and fun. Though I was the only one from my church, but made some friends from those of different church. I enjoyed the Bee game; haa.. funny..

So, the fun ended and the nightmare started. Decided to take the direct bus to Bedok which is just a turn away. Saw 67 and boarded it; shouldn't have. It was crowded and full of Indians! Not to say I don't like Indians, but the oil they apply on their body just don't like me! Soon, I started to yawn. Attention!! When Grace starts yawning non stop, it isn't a good sight! With the long journey and packed bus, I had to shut my eyes before I puke my tea-break out! Praise God, I opened my eyes just in time for my stop.

Don't know what happened to me recently, losing my "zeal" to eat! For lunch today, I couldn't even finish my Chicken Rich. For dinner, I was troubled of what to eat since I wasn't really hungry. Finally, headed over to 7-11 on the way home and got myself cup noodels. It's been like that for a few days; whenever it's meal time I won't feel like eating.

Oh!! Grace is dying! Haa.. or maybe the medicine is having its side effects?

Gonna sleep early tonight!

Meeting up with an old friend sure brought back memories; especially when you didn't plan it. Went to Tampines to pass Jessie her CD and cafe key to her; meet Aishah at the Macdonalds! I was a little surprise at first, seeing her with Naswin. Caught up with each other and had updates on the rest that I have lost contact with. It's good to meet up once in a while.

I was getting all bored today, not knowing what to do. In fact, I had quite a lot to do for Church and my room. Need to pack up my books on the other bed and type out the new song list for Youth Ministry; and there I was complaining of nothing to do!

New class when school re-open. No more togetherness as a class? Awww... *Heartpain*

Looks like this year's birthday is gonna be the usuals. I actually wonder how many remembers it without anyone reminding them? It's always exam period or something else on my birthday. When was the last time I actually did really celebrate my birthday? Dad was asking if I was organising a Chalet for my birthday this year.. Yeah right, Chalet in the midst of school term? Looks like I can only sing "Happy Birthday" to myself when I wake up in the morning. I'll be so touch if someone can just surprise me, I mean REALLY surprise and touch me. Which I think is quit hard, since I'm not easlier surprised and touched at the same time, LOL. Grace, oh Grace. Someone organise a party for me? Haa.. Alright, start thinking about my birthday list and maybe get it for myself on that faithful day.

1) A three-quater (trendy), let say size 36? Haa! Look, 36 is NOT my size but I like it to be airy and not tight.
2) Tee-shirt (M or L), hard to find one that's nice and cheap. Should have bought more of it when I was in Thailand! Heck, you won't find me spending 20 bucks on a Tee-shirt
3) Another book to read, I've got no idea what book I wanna get from Life Bookshop this time.
4) A Cross to wear around my neck, been wanting to get one but always forgot to.
5) New wallet, mine is gonna tear apart soon
6) Thinking... An air ticket to a country? I promise to choose somewhere near if you're tight on budget, Wahhahah!!
7) Thinking... Sponsor my OSIP/ University. LOL

Took me quite a while to get that 5 things out. Why? I don't know too. Maybe I never really gave it a thought until just now. But what I'm looking forward is friends giving me letters and cards on Birthday. I always enjoy reading them last time, but so far didn't get them on Birthdays. Well, maybe if there's any chance let's gather for steamboat at Marina! Or elsewhere, just a gathering; sweet.

10 of May if you are wondering when ;)

While I was about to read the Bible just now, I saw a picture from a booklet. It was a hand holding on to another hand. It was a picture from a camp I last attended; never really take notice of it until just now. As I looked at it with "Above all" playing in the background; I feel Jesus was in my room with me. I had the door closed and locked, but I knew Jesus was in the room with me. Reminded me that He will always hold on to us, no matter what! Finish reading the Bible for the day and went on to the book I've been reading. By the way, I've finished "He chose the nails" and am now at "What happend when women walk in faith". Not a bad book, worth reading and understanding. Glad that I didn't buy the type of books; heard from so many people that there are a lot of "wrong" christian books out there in the store.

There was then a chapter on faith. Faith; we all know and understand that it's important. Read it so many times, but God never fails to use "Faith" to touch me and remind me of His promise. Faith is learn through living your life, it doesn't come from a dispensal machine where you drop in a coin, pushed a botton and it falls out for you. The book did also mention about moving ahead and not going back to where we left. In my prayers, I prayed to God that I won't be going back to where He found me, the place where I got lost at. I'm moving on, by His grace I'm moving on.

I was complaining of what tight time-table I have to follow when school re-opens; God gave me strength! I'm gonna study hard and work hard. Saving up for OSIP, I'm sure help will come my way if I don't have enough cash. For an experience that I may only get once in a life time while still studying. Don't mind if I get posted to Thailand or China, it's for the spirit and experience of it! Shanghai won't be bad, I can save on my rental since Shireen is there. Australia won't be bad too, since Shirley is there! She has agreed to let me stay over at her place if I'm posted there. Better start saving for OSIP! I would like to get posted to LA too, can take part in SOP's WNW and a chance to serve the Lord together. What an experience awaiting me :)

Maybe I'll drop by the cafe to pass the key and CD, then it's goodbye.

So many things I wanna say, but simply don't know how to put them in words. So many feelings, so many thoughts hidden inside me. In times I just looked on and hope that my mouth would just open and flow of words would come out of me. Seldom do I talk, seldom will I comment unless I'm really needed. Is that a good point or a bad point? Some people thinks that I'm aloof and didn't care; am I? A handfull of people understood this and I know sometimes they don't also. Thanks to those who stood by.

Holiday is ending soon; what have I done for the past few months? Thailand trip, Church's youth camp, Easter Day service and working? My memory is failing me :P April's time-table was released today and the sight of my time-table freaked me out. Lesser breaks in between, lesson starts earlier and ends later. Looked through my friends' time-table and realised I was not given my CDS; because I had to re-take a subject from last semester. So, is that a good news or bad? If I don't take my CDS this term, I may have to take it next semester or have it push back to my final year. *Sheesh* Emailed Ms Nah about it and she said as long as I didn't cross over the limit of 28 credit unit, I can take up my CDS. So, should I?

A brand new start for a brand new term, is it? I'm like.. so lost now. Broke my promise again.. God must be so disappointed with me.

I wish someone was there to mentor me and guide me.. I know God is there; I need a human. Someone I'm comfortable with. EC is way too busy and famous.

Pslam 51
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassionblot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.
14 Save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
18 In your good pleasure make Zion prosper; build up the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then there will be righteous sacrifices, whole burnt offerings to delight you;then bulls will be offered on your altar.

A post before I step out what is so called comfort to a place I dread to go. Never like going back; that was not home. Home is in Heaven. Take me home soon, Lord. Really.

Didn't go to work today. Grandma saw me still coughing and having my flu still, so she called Winnie and told her I'm not coming. Darn, got to go back on Wednesday.

Met up with Pris at Bedok today; had a long chat at Macdonalds before we part for dinner. A nice wonderful little chat; guess I was not the one I used to be already. All closed up and kept to myself. Maybe I was comfortable with her :)

Gave PACE a missed today. Going to their event has no meaning to me anymore. I'm having my doubts about joining GC. Maybe I just concentrate on my studies and Church work? I don't know; at the same time I want to excel in other things as well.

Again, I'm missing people. I hope Shirly is doing well with her studies and oh-so-many drawings to complete. Never been to a small sized school before, all the schools I've been to have at lease a few thousand people in them. Shirly, you got to learn to say no.

BBS is getting quiter without Jim around. Lesser people are posting and lesser topics to talk about. I used to be so excited to log on everyday; but each time I log on there isn't something new... "Yesterday.... yesterday..."

I grew up in Sunday School
I memorized the Golden Rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary

But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But I'll never be the same
Because He changed my life when He became...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see

Now everyday I'm praying Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that He is...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything

And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet you saying you've been...

You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You're everything to me
Lord, you're everything to me

This song is so like me...

Brought to church since young because I was really rebellious; Grandma brought me there to keep me on my path. Praise God, I did! I was a really good student, serious! I was one of the few that can remembered the Bible verses really well and know the stories inside out; I was a model student often getting first grade in class. But that was history, hey, but I'm still as attentive in class now!

Remembering all the verses didn't mean much to me, I just live by it day by day. When I need God, I pray. When I don't, I can't even remember Him. Like this song, I'm changed since He became everything to me. Jesus is wonderful, so is the Father.

People, it's time to grow. Make Jesus your everything and surrender everything to Him.. Don't remain on the same spot, move on to see greater and newer hights.

It was not that wonderful, not that perfect, the video was screwed and my hardwork was told not to be showed. But overall, I think we have give our best; to me. I got a lot of great comments leading the main service today; from my voice to anything else. I was quick shocked when I heard them say that my voice was nice where actually I was having my tonsils problems. Oh well, I sang from my heart; that matters. Before going on stage, I said a lot of prayers and I know God heard each of them. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you all who have helped out in one way or another.

Fear not, we are going to have a BBQ on the 30th April! Though funds is a problem, we only have a HUGE funds of 60 bucks from youth fellowship which is enough for the pit and maybe sweet potatoes for everyone. "Collect 5 bucks from everyone that's coming," HELLO!!! Are you out of your mind or something? Maybe with your lunch you forgot to check with your brain before sending out the message? It's an invitation; a Thank-you-BBQ, how do you expect the guests to pay. Imagine, "Hi, you are invited to the Thank-You-BBQ and please pay 5 bucks to come." Stud.. I'm pretty sure a solution will come soon.. soon..soon..

Sometimes just couldn't stand certain people. Spend so much time on the Thank-You slide then come tell me not to show it. Did you know the time and effort put in? Understood that there's not enough time.. but can't you put it in a nicer way to me and also to JY?

My tonsils, left tonsil; is getting painful again. Fall sick for all I care now!! Haa.. Then I'll have excuse not to work tomorrow and not to turn up for PACE! Haha.. Zeke, you have yet to ask your Dad for the medicine to treat my tonsils!!

Tonsils suck, wonder why some have it and some don't. Doesn't even know why it existed.. Dud.. I miss my voice! Maybe if I had sang with my normal voice; people will ask me for my autograph! Bahahaha... LOL.. But I know I'm singing for God.. Purpose and focus I shall say..

BBQ!! Heal, so I can eat! Been eating congee from the day I can remember; almost a week! I want solid food, nice food!!

Eleora-- The Lord is my light. How's that for my middle english name? So from now on, my name shall be Grace Eleora Loo! What a name yeah, but I'm still be known as Grace most of the time.

My throat is getting better today, but my head is gonna explode in any minute. So much pressure up there, I can feel it "glowing".

Church Easter Rehearsal later. Nothing much to type anyway; just wanna update on my new name..

Grace Eleora Loo Yan Ting.

神羔羊配得

感谢祢的十字架
感谢祢付上代价
担当我罪和羞愧
使我完全
赐下奇妙恩典

感谢祢无比大爱
感谢祢钉痕双手
宝血洗净我污秽
使我了解
祢完全包容赦免

神羔羊配得
坐在宝座上
头戴著尊贵冠冕
祢做王到永远

来尊崇赞美
耶稣神儿子
从天降下被钉十架
神羔羊配得
神羔羊配得

Comfort zone; I think good health is part of it, I just realised. Just when my throat was getting a little better, it seems that the pain is coming back. Oh well, I told God that even if I have to go on stage with a husky voice; I will still do so. It's the heart that matters, but whether I'm singing nicely for the people to hear. Of course, I would really like to have my normal voice back.

It was raining cats and dogs in the afternoon today. I looked at the time and it was around the time Jesus was nailed. Guess the sky itself is remembering Jesus too!

Didn't do much today; stayed home to complete the powerpoints and got some Easter Day's stuff settled. Easter Rehearsal tomorrow, I hope my voice will be back to normal!!

What c0uld be worse? My tonsils are back and they are huge and swollen! Can't even bring myself to sleep last night because of the pain. I wonder how I slept the other time the tonsils appeared. Went to see the Doctor on Tuesday and today I'm having Easter rehearsal!?

Read JY's blog and I began to wonder if I'm a good leader or even a good fellower? The whole idea of the Easter egg came from I-forgotten-who and I didn't even bring it up to him? Did I forget that he's in charge of simply it didn't cross my mind? People not coming for rehearsal and some didn't even inform that they are not coming. Haiz, Easter is in less then a week! What's happening?

My throat, my voice, my health!! It's like the third time I'm falling sick in less than tem months? That's a record, usually it's only once a year! Ate so little at Mom's birthday celebration; let's see.. I ate less then 10 month of my dinner and then a cup card? Ahhh!! And this morning when I woke up I think I lost some weight, LOL!

I hope the fever is not coming my way; been feeling feverish last night and even now. Bought a cooling pat and I wonder will it work. Oh God, please stop whatever the Satan is doing and let all of us stand strong!!

School is re-opening, I quit my job.. Hahaha..

Sorry, I'm sick today.. what i type may not make sense..

Chatted with Cheryl in MSN today, not really a chat but it's more like an informing thing. I don't know, but chatting with her again seems so weird. Can't bring myself to talk to her already.. Wonder why so, just because of that Sunday? Maybe I had high expectation from her, but disappointed after that.

Are people just getting on my nerves of what; or is it me? Jesus wanted us to love each other like how He love us, but it's all so hard. How to love someone that is asking questions that's somewhat irritating you? Maybe it's my mood or what; but I'm tryng so very hard to give that person the answer to the question.

Forgot when was the last time I read the Bible; oh my goodness! Everytime just give myself excuses that I'll read them tomorrow but tomorrow never come. And shall I asked when was the last time I really prayed? Each night just muffered a few words of prayers and went to bed. Wonder what that was? Oh the usual "Thank you God for this day and for protecting me...etc"

I'm somehow like handing in the middle of nowhere; not on top nor the bottom. A good leader? Well, I usually like to do things and often forgot to tell/inform others about it when it's a team work thing. I give myself excuses that there's still time, but often ended up doing last minute work. Wanted to wake up early each day but often get up past noon. It seems that my "tomorrow" never comes. Wanted things to be in order but somehow I feel that others can't handle what I said of the insructions I gave. Told them not to prepare Worship on last minute bassis but somehow they would just do the opposite. Arranged everything nicely and I think within a month it will all be screwed again. Told that person to put back what he took from the files but he keep giving excuses that he'll put them back later and "later" never came.

I've no right to judge, no right to scold or discipline because I'm not a perfect person. Oh God, teach me what to do! Telling them off may spoilt the friendship, their heart is gonna be so fragil that it will break after what I said. Doing things silently and some may say I'm not doing any.

Everything is so dry. Easter is coming in less than a week and my throat is killing me.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My second entry for today! I'm 3/4 done with the Easter's Thank You slides, sign up for xanga, view blogs and here I am; not going home tonight.

I wonder why I sign up xanga; of course I know why.. *sheesh*

Quit day dreaming, Grace.

Think I'll give PaceSetters a miss tomorrow; sick. Going to the doctors, better be early.. Argg... Stupid flu and cought!!

I'm still pondering if I wanna go home today; not that I'm outside but at Grandma's. Easter practice after lunch today, lasted from 2 to 4p.m. My throat is getting itchy and it's making me feel funny. Dr Chendra was down with some cought also, what's with the freaking weather? Easter's in a week, can't affort to lose my voice! Sing louder, Grace!

I think afterall, he isn't what I think he is. Mature and good-nature? It seems to be making its way to the drain. I don't know, maybe I don't know him well enough. Afterall, it's just my imagination! Suppose that every organisation have unhappy events going on; just like my church. Although unhappy, but after it we got closer? Wahaha..

Went to Hougang Point for lunch today. The guys wanted Macdonald's but I'm falling sick, so I gave it a skip and headed to the food court with Eunice, Norman and Pastor Tony. Again, I put too much chillie in my soup and I was "watering" while eating. Bought lunch for those who couldn't join us and head back to church for practice.

Look, En cannot play guitar; Jia Ying cannot play Keyboard; Lydia cannot play violin; and what am I doing with the bottle and drum sticks?; lastly Wen Feng cannot play Bass.

Examining the scores and Wen Kai trying to be a violin professor

It's good to have some fun in the midst of seriousness

Prata, Roti Prata; an indian dish. Popular in both Malaysia and Singapore. Nice if you eat it once a while, but it can be yucky having to eat it two days in a row. The sight of it made me wanna puke! Went supper again with church people, this time with Uncle Tony and family too. Made a fatal mistake to order Maggie Goreng; I ate only a few mouth and pass the whole thing to JY. Boy, he was happy to get free food. It was too salty and red; wonder why I had the urge to order it. What more can I order besides that? Prata makes me puke, Mee Goreng is too filling and so is rice dish. I'm contented with my Coke Lite. Drink Coke Lite, people.

Went on blog viewing when I got home and discovered some new blogs. Interesting and amazed at how some bloggers can type their day in chinese! It will take me ages to type an entry since my han yu pin yin failed. I thought someone was in his late 20s but he just step into it. LOL...

Leading Praise and Worship tomorrow and this time not gonna make the same mistake again! Prepared everything and packed nicely. My throat is getting itchy; better not happen. Easter is next week!!

It's 2.30a.m now, which means it's sunday. Why do I have to go to bed this late every Saturday and that I got to wake up at 6.30a.m the next?

Oh yeah, went to visit Grandpa today. Didn't know that place was called columdarian. Was a little lost at first, I forgotten where Grandpa's place. Manage to locate it and stood there for a while. Clean off the dust and remembered the good old days. Went to Hearland Mall, bought the Bible I've always wanted, card for Grandpa and went back to All Saints again. Place the card there, sat there to finish my drink and went back to church. It's good to be alone, you get to remember things you have forgotten and feel the feelings that can be felt alone.

Oh well, Shirly was there telling me how she felt being "walled" from SOP members nowdays. Well, I think they must have some rules to follow through and doesn't want their privacy to be invaded? I'm sure you won't want a zillion people to be reading your blog and knowing your life but you don't know theirs.

However, SOP add oil! Waiting for your new album. Get it out quick, I'm running out of songs to listen!! *Cought*Cought*

Boyfriend?? Wahahahaha.. if it's gonna happen, it will. I hope this guy is not in Singapore; don't want a custom made breed!! Wahaha..

Grandma had to wake me up today; didn't know I was sleeping past 2p.m! All I know I was waiting for Grandma to turn on her television, which will somehow wake me up. Woke up, had a late lunch, carry on with the video and some other online stuff then set off to Tampines. For the first time I tasted the Herb Chicken at my work place. It was suppose to be a signature dish, but somehow it wasn't very nice. Come on, even for someone who isn't choosy about food says it's not nice; then it's really not nice!

Wanted to shop for Bible, but couldn't get the one I wanted. So, I think I will drop by Heartland Mall during the weekends to get it. My Bible has been camping at church for a week, I hope it's still there!

Dr Chandra wasn't here today and so is most of them. Easter coming soon and people are still not coming for practice? Well, I understand Dr Chandra is not feeling well, Eunice have some accounting lesson and the rest I'm not very sure. Uncle Tony was suggesting to me if there's a need to add some more rehearsal. I'm thinking of that too.. There's only 3 more rehearsals left to Easter!

Listen to the recording just now, I think I sound *yuck*! Voice too high!! Haha, got to change.. But the purpose must still be the same, all for God!

Alright, so after a few hours of hard work a couple of us headed down to the prata shop for supper. Lydia didn't go because she wanted to play her RollerCoaster game! Som it's just the few of us; lucky! Why? Well, I promised to treat them supper cause I requested to repractice a few songs after the whole rehearsal ended. Phew, praise God not many went! Wahaha.. So, had prata and we sat not so close to the kitchen, so that my bag and my cloths won't smell. Saw Sam's parents and the english side people half-way through the pratas. Jia Ying was the one that reminded the others about my treating; and ordered 3 more pratas. Alright lah, only 3.. LOL!

Sunday's praise and worship rehearsal is being brought forward to 2p.m, cause Steffie could make it later. Because of so, I had to change my guitarist. This month's praise and worship time slots is a little messy due to some changes. Got to work on it again!

Anyway JY. the powerpoint is nice but somehow a little too bloody. What is Brother Khoo and people like Pei Sian Lao Shi fainted? Not "cars" to send them to hospital! Change it to blank and white, maybe it will b better. You still got a week!

Easter day's preparation is almost done. Had a check on the powerpoint slides, the video and run through the arrangement just now. All that is needed is the timing, apporval and making sure that things runs. A week more before Easter not very much time left!

A moment ago, I was looking through some blogs; some of which I can't even understand. Then I wonder, why do people blog? To tell others of their life or simply to record what had happened? For me, I just want to share my point of view and of course record what happen; so that I may remember them if my memory fails me.

Looking at my parents, again, because of that telephone call Mom made.. I really don't know what to do with them. To be mean, they are destroying my life. After my O levels, Mom actally don't want me to continue studying. Where can I go with an O level cert? Now that I wanted to go University, how much more "impact" can I bring to her? If she's gonna go against it, then may I ask, "Am I using your money?" It's like when I'm old enough, had the money.. I can just move to other country leaving them here; but no.. that's not the way. But if they want to stay here in Singapore, it's up to them. I would still send them money.

Seem rather impossible for me to go University, but it's a new goal now. Never wanted to go University, cause I never liked studying. But, I had to look ahead. I wanna move far for God, in terms of ranks, positions and spiritual growth. Of coursem shouldn't let that get over my head. The prayer meeting talked a little about overseas education. A university in Scotland cost about S$180 000, plus staying over and covers all four years of education. By figues, S$180 000 looked not that much, but I know in reality it's a lot; at lease to me who earns like only S$ 200 a month. God, I would really like to experience University and overseas' life.

haa, some kids are just fo fortunate..

Lately, I've been hearing noises again; at work and at my parents' place. Just when I thought it was nothing much, I knew the answer just now over the telephone with Mom. She has been telling me not to go too near to Aunty Gek Sim's coffin and that she will "pray" for me to her god. If you people reading don't know, my parents are non-christians. Of course as a Christian, I told her no need to "pray" for me, but know what she said? "I've been praying for you!"

Oh my goodness! She was telling me this year wouldn't be good to those born in the year of dragon and she has been praying for me. I was totally shocked! I told grandma and she said, "What! Cannot!" I knew cannot, I know! Then it linked back to me what has been happening this past few months. Oh my goodness, my mother is praying to her god and hoping that there's effect!

Ivanna prayed for me just now, and I thank God she did. Looks like another spiritual warfare has broke out.

Pray for me people, I know Satan can't touch me!

Getting lazier to blog nowadays; so many things to type out but just lazy to do so.

Just came back from Aunty Gek Sim's funeral. Although not very close to her, but I remembered the days she bought me candies and gave me extra pocket money. Been years since I last really contact with her. Her health was failing her and yesterday the Lord called her home. A good news I think, at lease there's no more sufferings and pain. Heard from Grandma that her leg and heart was giving her problem. Well, although it may be saddening to see someone go; but be happy because she's safe in God's arm.

Prayers meeting tomorrow and I wonder how many will turn up.. Finished off my Easter Day's video; just some more editing to do.

Spring rain is going around, even in the States. Raining here almost every afternoon. On Monday I was even caught in the flood!

PaceSetters' stuff on Monday; no motivation to go. Somehow this PaceSetters things seems so political to me. Looking at the people, speechless. Leadership, oh there is! But is it on the right track? Somehow there's one reason why I don't like the country I'm living in. People are taught and "personalised" to what the government want us to be. I don't know how to explain, but it's just so *ssheesh* The school tells the young generation to study hard, get good result then get a good job. Well, is that all? Sometimes I'm ashame to announce that I'm a SINGAPOREAN. But in the first place, I'm not.

Yeah, cannot forget that there are a few good points that Singapore have and other countries don't have. Like, safety, clean water, education and equal chances etc.. But the good sides have their side effects. For example the freedom of religion; Christians in Singapore are so deep into their comfort zone!! Maybe one day a slap on the face will wake them up!

Singapore, singapore..when can I get out of this country?

It used to be the airport that I'll run to when I need a quiet space. Now, the airport isn't that quiet anymore; no more nice views and getting crowded. Let me sum up my day before I go into it. Went to work in the morning, knock off at 4p.m. Went to shop for Uncle Mike's and Aunt Helen's birthday present; went home. Birthday dinner then at last the Budget Terminal trip.

Opened my mouth today; I fianlly told Winnie that I would like to resign. Actually wanted to stop working by the end of this week, but she asked me to stay for another. Told my grandma and Aunt about it; they were happy for me! I guess this cafe job really did screwed me up quite a bit; alright it's a lot. With the help from church and maybe gonna teach some tuition; guess I will be able to survice. Nah; I WILL survive, by faith! Can't believe my parents totally dropped me like a stone, leaving me alone to feed myself! Oh gosh, and my friends around me are like still collecting their pocket money even when they work part-time. How fair can it be huh? For all I know, God's fair.

Habouring the wish to study university, out of Singapore. Though it seem like a total impossible dream; but God will lead me. Don't want to just stop at a diploma; I wanna move higher! Studying overseas, leaving there and leaving the country has been in my mind ever since I can remember. Don't know why; but I wanna step out of this "comfort" zone. Somehow I felt that I'll not be staying at a place for long; always moving around. On eagle's wing eh!!

God is good; you know it's true also. Well this morning grandma approach me to tell her the truth about my examination result. I told her everything and printed the result slips for her to view ( I actually told her there's no result slip given before hand :P) Then I realise my sin and my mistake. Was so afraid of showing my results because I did badly and disappointed them. Although they expected only a pass; but I asked for more. Not just only a pass, but a result that can glorify God's name. Got to work harder; it's year two.

I had never really enjoyed family dinner; big family gatherings. Especially during Chinese New Year. I would feel so out of the space; simply speechless. While the rest were catching up, merrying; I'm often left out all by myself. Somehow I can't seem to born; and is that telling me something? Took a look at the family photgraph taken during grandma's 80th birthday and realise I don't like either of them. Each have them are "linked" together ( you can tell that they are ONE family) but when I look at myself; out. Total different characters and features. I never like going home; I'm always heading out of the door. When looking at how mothers cared for their children; I wish my parents were like that. If it's true; Dad and Mum, who and where are you? How am I going to trace back? Have you all been looking for me?

Bought two books today from Life bookshop. One was about what each thing and moments meant when Jesus was cruxified. Read the first two chapters and learned so much. I never notice or realise what the nails, the salivar etc. meant. All I knew was Jesus died on the cross, He suffered, He was beaten up... I think the book is gonna be interesting. Another one was for Living your dreams (womans).

Gonna work again tomorrow; afternoon shift. Endure, just two more weeks and I can say good-bye to that cafe! Terrible...

Almost 3a.m and Grace, you got to work tomorrow; it's morning shift let me remind you!

Finally I asked and figured out how to extract VCD movies and edit them to what I needed. So that goes, "Ask and you will be given, seek and you shall find" It's true! Manage to do like 30% of the Easter Day video before I "knock off" to blog.

Church today. Backup singers for Main Service; the songs were boring me. I'm sorry but; having to repeat the same tune (although different verse) was torturing. Not that I don't like those songs; but.. oh well. Glad that Stephie did her part in the Easter Day publicity; great job! I was kinda worry when she didn't text me back when I reminded her of the publicity. It could have been better if the pictures weren't blured.After service, when around asking about VCD extraction and finally got some answer from Wen Feng; but in the end I got the perfect answer to my doubt from Grace-yi!

Today's youth service was disappointing. Well at lease there's something that I can be a LITTLE happy with, she confessed that she didn't practice for today's Praise and Worship. No links to the songs she chose and the music was chaos. Sang a few songs and find that I could sing no more. I just sat there looking at the transparencies and at her. I wondered, "So, what I told you before hand was useless?" There's Thursday, Friday and the whole Saturday for you to practice but I don't see any effort in coming. You asked the pianist to come on Thursday and informed her that it was cancelled when she had already reach church?! An hour and a half journey to church yeah, not one and a half minute.

Stated clearly, all I asked was to PREPARE for Praise and Worship if you are leading; hard? Alright, tell me which part is hard? The time, committment or the effort that is needed from you? I've mentioned this many time, if God can give you time; why can't you give Him time? If worship leaders are leading for the sake of their name being on the P&W time slots; then I would rather you not lead. If you are taking it to be a light affair when it comes to worshipping God; don't lead, serious. What's the point of choosing a few songs, lead, say something and it's done? To satisfy me, or God? Again and again, I closed one eye when worship leaders chose song on that day or simply didn't prepare. I let it go, knowing that you all need time. But there's a limit to what I can accpet, or shall I say God can accpet? Lydia told me she took 5 years; because no one guided her, I took a couple of years too. Yeah, each one has different pace! Maybe I only take a year or two; you can come and tell me you need 10; fine! I'll give you 10 years then, I'll pray for you.. But is that an excuse or a reason?

I'm afraid that I'll come to a point that I wouldn't care less how worship leaders are going to lead. You fulfill your time slot and it's done. No!!! That's not suppose to be so! Today while I sat there not singing, I thought to myself, "I'm really speachless about her. Tell me what to do." As the tears rolled down, it was not the touch of the Holy Spirit, but the touch of disappointment. It's like you come up with ways and ideas to wanna make them be serious about leading Praise and Worship; it just didn't work! They simply take your heart and smashed it on the ground! I made an effort to find sharings on Praise and Worship; but NONE (maybe one or two) bother to read! So tell me, what's the point!!! I can choose the songs for you, prepare for you nicely; but will you do it?! I can be like an old grandmother keep reminding you of the purpose of a musician, a worship leader; then you are going to find me an asshole! Purpose, purpose, focus, focus!!

I know, I know... Take time, keep praying, cheer up.. bla bla bla. When I looked at her today; I don't even feel like giving my comments for Praise and Worship anymore. It just come to me, "It will mean nothing to her anyway! She'll just read the card, think about it, then dumped it one side. The old pattern will repeat again."













Enough of her and what happened..
Lets' talk about something happening!!

Stream of Praise coming on the 12/13/14-08-06! Mark that down on your calender. Plus, a whole new website with SOP blog. Looks like God answered my prayers of learning more from the wiser ones. A neater website with brighter colours, you know where things are, contrast are beautiful; just need more pictures.

Intercessor group for Stream of Praise when they are in Singapore; register now! LOL.. Not confirm..

Go and sleep Grace, it's almost 3.30a.m; note... AM!

I'm afraid of Doctor Chandra. Not that she's bad, but I'm just afraid of her. Afriad, but at the same time like her as a teacher also. LOL :)

5 more practices left before Easter Day Service. I get nervous when Doctor Chandra plays the piano..

Yet to do the powerpoint slides..

Receive my Supp papers results today; and I was shocked! How could I have passed my FNDB and failed my Cmath1? Then just now I realise I couldn't really do the last few questions for CMath1; which is like 30 marks? Oh my goodness, I have a subject more than others and facing the risk of getting kicked out from PaceSetters.

I think I should be quitting my job soon, since I'm getting offers to teach tuition already. I was surprise when I recieve at email asking for tuitors to teach K1/K2 students. No life for them, just because they are born in Singapore. The day you can read and write; dooms day! LOL!!

Stomach cramps; damn monthly problems... Why must ladies suffer for this?? What does the guys get; wetdreams?? LOL..