Tuesday, April 04, 2006
It used to be the airport that I'll run to when I need a quiet space. Now, the airport isn't that quiet anymore; no more nice views and getting crowded. Let me sum up my day before I go into it. Went to work in the morning, knock off at 4p.m. Went to shop for Uncle Mike's and Aunt Helen's birthday present; went home. Birthday dinner then at last the Budget Terminal trip.
Opened my mouth today; I fianlly told Winnie that I would like to resign. Actually wanted to stop working by the end of this week, but she asked me to stay for another. Told my grandma and Aunt about it; they were happy for me! I guess this cafe job really did screwed me up quite a bit; alright it's a lot. With the help from church and maybe gonna teach some tuition; guess I will be able to survice. Nah; I WILL survive, by faith! Can't believe my parents totally dropped me like a stone, leaving me alone to feed myself! Oh gosh, and my friends around me are like still collecting their pocket money even when they work part-time. How fair can it be huh? For all I know, God's fair.
Habouring the wish to study university, out of Singapore. Though it seem like a total impossible dream; but God will lead me. Don't want to just stop at a diploma; I wanna move higher! Studying overseas, leaving there and leaving the country has been in my mind ever since I can remember. Don't know why; but I wanna step out of this "comfort" zone. Somehow I felt that I'll not be staying at a place for long; always moving around. On eagle's wing eh!!
God is good; you know it's true also. Well this morning grandma approach me to tell her the truth about my examination result. I told her everything and printed the result slips for her to view ( I actually told her there's no result slip given before hand :P) Then I realise my sin and my mistake. Was so afraid of showing my results because I did badly and disappointed them. Although they expected only a pass; but I asked for more. Not just only a pass, but a result that can glorify God's name. Got to work harder; it's year two.
I had never really enjoyed family dinner; big family gatherings. Especially during Chinese New Year. I would feel so out of the space; simply speechless. While the rest were catching up, merrying; I'm often left out all by myself. Somehow I can't seem to born; and is that telling me something? Took a look at the family photgraph taken during grandma's 80th birthday and realise I don't like either of them. Each have them are "linked" together ( you can tell that they are ONE family) but when I look at myself; out. Total different characters and features. I never like going home; I'm always heading out of the door. When looking at how mothers cared for their children; I wish my parents were like that. If it's true; Dad and Mum, who and where are you? How am I going to trace back? Have you all been looking for me?
Bought two books today from Life bookshop. One was about what each thing and moments meant when Jesus was cruxified. Read the first two chapters and learned so much. I never notice or realise what the nails, the salivar etc. meant. All I knew was Jesus died on the cross, He suffered, He was beaten up... I think the book is gonna be interesting. Another one was for Living your dreams (womans).
Gonna work again tomorrow; afternoon shift. Endure, just two more weeks and I can say good-bye to that cafe! Terrible...
Opened my mouth today; I fianlly told Winnie that I would like to resign. Actually wanted to stop working by the end of this week, but she asked me to stay for another. Told my grandma and Aunt about it; they were happy for me! I guess this cafe job really did screwed me up quite a bit; alright it's a lot. With the help from church and maybe gonna teach some tuition; guess I will be able to survice. Nah; I WILL survive, by faith! Can't believe my parents totally dropped me like a stone, leaving me alone to feed myself! Oh gosh, and my friends around me are like still collecting their pocket money even when they work part-time. How fair can it be huh? For all I know, God's fair.
Habouring the wish to study university, out of Singapore. Though it seem like a total impossible dream; but God will lead me. Don't want to just stop at a diploma; I wanna move higher! Studying overseas, leaving there and leaving the country has been in my mind ever since I can remember. Don't know why; but I wanna step out of this "comfort" zone. Somehow I felt that I'll not be staying at a place for long; always moving around. On eagle's wing eh!!
God is good; you know it's true also. Well this morning grandma approach me to tell her the truth about my examination result. I told her everything and printed the result slips for her to view ( I actually told her there's no result slip given before hand :P) Then I realise my sin and my mistake. Was so afraid of showing my results because I did badly and disappointed them. Although they expected only a pass; but I asked for more. Not just only a pass, but a result that can glorify God's name. Got to work harder; it's year two.
I had never really enjoyed family dinner; big family gatherings. Especially during Chinese New Year. I would feel so out of the space; simply speechless. While the rest were catching up, merrying; I'm often left out all by myself. Somehow I can't seem to born; and is that telling me something? Took a look at the family photgraph taken during grandma's 80th birthday and realise I don't like either of them. Each have them are "linked" together ( you can tell that they are ONE family) but when I look at myself; out. Total different characters and features. I never like going home; I'm always heading out of the door. When looking at how mothers cared for their children; I wish my parents were like that. If it's true; Dad and Mum, who and where are you? How am I going to trace back? Have you all been looking for me?
Bought two books today from Life bookshop. One was about what each thing and moments meant when Jesus was cruxified. Read the first two chapters and learned so much. I never notice or realise what the nails, the salivar etc. meant. All I knew was Jesus died on the cross, He suffered, He was beaten up... I think the book is gonna be interesting. Another one was for Living your dreams (womans).
Gonna work again tomorrow; afternoon shift. Endure, just two more weeks and I can say good-bye to that cafe! Terrible...
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 4/04/2006 01:29:00 AM
