Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Blogging in school
Printing, printing, printing.. We as the class of C116G is all busy printing the lecture notes for the next class-- which is like less than half an hour more. I've finished mine, but there's lots more to print. Think I will return tomorrow.
CMaths lesson today was fine, guess I need some revising and speeding up. Shouldn't let my mental affect me, shall conquer my fear of math! I was falling asleep during PRSP lecture, looking forward to NMM.
Assignments are up online already, oh boy.. Work! But at lease it's much more better then secondary school, cause I'm doing what I like! An irony thing happened last night while I was watching television. Dad saw the book I was reading and he actually picked it up and started reading. In less than an hour he finished one chapter! That's quite amazing to me, he never read books, only newspapers.
Visited one of my friend's blog, and I wonder how it will be like if I have sibilings? Someone to talk to, share with and even fight with? Haa~ There's a reason why I don't have brothers or sisters.
Got to go for class real soon, and after than an hour break again and last lesson of the day is PRSP Lab. I better do my C Maths revision, homework for C Maths, Visual Lituracy, NMM, IISO and Prsp. So many things to do, but I trust that God will guide me through.
Happy Holidays for all those in primary and secondary school! Happy? Haa, enjoy and spend them going back to school yeah? *Evil laught* MuHAhahHHAa..
I wonder what is the reat of the class doing..
Alright, busy with friendster!
CMaths lesson today was fine, guess I need some revising and speeding up. Shouldn't let my mental affect me, shall conquer my fear of math! I was falling asleep during PRSP lecture, looking forward to NMM.
Assignments are up online already, oh boy.. Work! But at lease it's much more better then secondary school, cause I'm doing what I like! An irony thing happened last night while I was watching television. Dad saw the book I was reading and he actually picked it up and started reading. In less than an hour he finished one chapter! That's quite amazing to me, he never read books, only newspapers.
Visited one of my friend's blog, and I wonder how it will be like if I have sibilings? Someone to talk to, share with and even fight with? Haa~ There's a reason why I don't have brothers or sisters.
Got to go for class real soon, and after than an hour break again and last lesson of the day is PRSP Lab. I better do my C Maths revision, homework for C Maths, Visual Lituracy, NMM, IISO and Prsp. So many things to do, but I trust that God will guide me through.
Happy Holidays for all those in primary and secondary school! Happy? Haa, enjoy and spend them going back to school yeah? *Evil laught* MuHAhahHHAa..
I wonder what is the reat of the class doing..
Alright, busy with friendster!
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Girls, this entry is for you
Forget about my parents. I just came back from church, took a bath, ate some grapes.. Chatting with a few people in MSN. Although I don't totally agree with the speaker today, but there's some point she mention that is right. Shan't type out what I don't agree with her, let me share about what I agree with her.
Parents and their children nowadays have problems in communicating, seldom do children tell of their problems to their problems, neither do I. Why is such happening? Problem lies with the adults or the children? Or maybe, the world? When is the last time you had a nice chat with your parent(s), when is the last time you last talk nicely to them, when is the last time you last share with them what took place in your life?--- All these questions, I have one answer for them. Ages. For some, Never is the answer.
Visited some of my friends' blog just now, it brought back memories in the past again. I thought of Social Studies class, history, maths and all other subjects. Wonder how has everyone been, especially the teachers and my best pal, Carmen. Each and everyone has taken our own path, when will we meet again? That's a big question mark. Everyone will soon be busy with their school, exams or other things in their life. In fact, someone of us has already started. Girls, do you still remember the promise we made? During Adam Khoo's course, we made a promise to meet ten years later, to see what we have become? 2 years passed, we have 8 more years to go. I then wanted to become an interior designer, famous world wide, owning companies and earning my million at the age of 40. As the years passed, I changed my goal. Design is still in my blood, but I aim to be an Entrepreneur, making my million not by 40, but by 25. Are your dreams still with you?
It's never too late to dream, it's never too late to start, but it's always too soon to say quit. All of us, yes, all of us have come too far to give up. Remember the days we worked so hard for O levels, worried for our test results? Remember those efforts put it, strive on, push on.. We have brave through many storms, the one ahead will be just fine. Made some mistakes in life? Don't worry, stand up, wipe away those tears and move on. No matter how dark the night is, the sun is always at the other end waiting to shine again.
Like me, been through so much for O levels, had a hard time. Finally I passed, made it to poly, but God "played" a trick on me. I was strike with illness, that will stay with me forever. I never gave up, I held on. Faced with troubles in my life, almost giving up, but thank God, I help on. Made a foolish mistakes, stubborn to turn back.. but I came back on track again. As long as you believe, even when you took the wrong path, God allows U-turn.
Dare2Dream didn't make it, but I will live my dreams, yet again. There's no failures, but only learning experience. Things may fall, but my faith will stand. Girls, whatever you have embark on in your life, believe in it and move on with faith. For those who are still studying, hang on. Studying sucks, but it's only for your own good. Brave it thought, your hard work will not be in vain. Don't say die, untill the day you die. Don't give up, for maybe all you need is a little push, you might just reach your goal. Remember, it's always too soon to say give up. For those re-taking anything in their life, made a mistake, but don't dwell over it. Put it behind, look ahead. Don't commit the same mistakes again. Believe in yourself, because many others believe in you as well. I do :)
Life can be wonderful, it's up to how you view it. If you want your life chapter to be wonderful, write a good story. The final chapters have yet to be written, write your own ending.
Everyone is..
Born with passion, Made for greatness
Parents and their children nowadays have problems in communicating, seldom do children tell of their problems to their problems, neither do I. Why is such happening? Problem lies with the adults or the children? Or maybe, the world? When is the last time you had a nice chat with your parent(s), when is the last time you last talk nicely to them, when is the last time you last share with them what took place in your life?--- All these questions, I have one answer for them. Ages. For some, Never is the answer.
Visited some of my friends' blog just now, it brought back memories in the past again. I thought of Social Studies class, history, maths and all other subjects. Wonder how has everyone been, especially the teachers and my best pal, Carmen. Each and everyone has taken our own path, when will we meet again? That's a big question mark. Everyone will soon be busy with their school, exams or other things in their life. In fact, someone of us has already started. Girls, do you still remember the promise we made? During Adam Khoo's course, we made a promise to meet ten years later, to see what we have become? 2 years passed, we have 8 more years to go. I then wanted to become an interior designer, famous world wide, owning companies and earning my million at the age of 40. As the years passed, I changed my goal. Design is still in my blood, but I aim to be an Entrepreneur, making my million not by 40, but by 25. Are your dreams still with you?
It's never too late to dream, it's never too late to start, but it's always too soon to say quit. All of us, yes, all of us have come too far to give up. Remember the days we worked so hard for O levels, worried for our test results? Remember those efforts put it, strive on, push on.. We have brave through many storms, the one ahead will be just fine. Made some mistakes in life? Don't worry, stand up, wipe away those tears and move on. No matter how dark the night is, the sun is always at the other end waiting to shine again.
Like me, been through so much for O levels, had a hard time. Finally I passed, made it to poly, but God "played" a trick on me. I was strike with illness, that will stay with me forever. I never gave up, I held on. Faced with troubles in my life, almost giving up, but thank God, I help on. Made a foolish mistakes, stubborn to turn back.. but I came back on track again. As long as you believe, even when you took the wrong path, God allows U-turn.
Dare2Dream didn't make it, but I will live my dreams, yet again. There's no failures, but only learning experience. Things may fall, but my faith will stand. Girls, whatever you have embark on in your life, believe in it and move on with faith. For those who are still studying, hang on. Studying sucks, but it's only for your own good. Brave it thought, your hard work will not be in vain. Don't say die, untill the day you die. Don't give up, for maybe all you need is a little push, you might just reach your goal. Remember, it's always too soon to say give up. For those re-taking anything in their life, made a mistake, but don't dwell over it. Put it behind, look ahead. Don't commit the same mistakes again. Believe in yourself, because many others believe in you as well. I do :)
Life can be wonderful, it's up to how you view it. If you want your life chapter to be wonderful, write a good story. The final chapters have yet to be written, write your own ending.
Everyone is..
Born with passion, Made for greatness
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Release me, Lord
The Bible says, "Honor your father and mother"
Honor them? That is really difficult for me, Lord teach me how to do that. Everytime I try to treat them better, talk to them nicely, things just goes the other way. I prayed and ask God to let me be nicer to them, but Lord.. I can't.
I know there are parents lot worse then mine, I'm not that alone after all. People, before any of you become a parents, ask yourself if you got what it takes to be a good one.
I know of one mother, she didn't treat her child well since birth. The child is her only child, but she treated the baby like not of her own. She seldom carry the child in her arm, most of the time the baby was on the ground. It's normal for young children to ask for sweets, but the mother never once gave the child one sweet. Therefore, the child never did really ask for things from the parents. Once the child drop a bottle of soya sauce on the ground, it will be normal if the mother gets angry. But besides getting angry at the child, she threw things at the child, straight at her. The child was defenceless..
The mother had never encouraged the child to study hard, she didn't even care if the child did studied or not. When the child was ill in school, the mother never made an effort to bring the child home. The father, after a long day at work, would be the one coming. From what I know, the child had no one to turn to if she has questions about her homework. Because if she ask the father, she would get scoldings and accused. She never did like asking her father any questions about school. The parents never brought her for holidays, not even out to play during holidays. How did she spent her holidays then? She went over to her Grandma place. There, she learn how to swim, speak good english, goes to church and went for holiday. Though the holidays were to places not very far, but she enjoyed them, always.
The parents never did believe in what the child is doing. During her PSLE, they never thought she would pass. It would already be a bonus if she can make it to Secondary school. The child believed that she can pass. Indeed, the child failed to be the rotten apple of her parents' eyes. She passed her PSLE and made it to the EXPRESS stream. In secondary school, the child aim to be the different. She worked her way up to be a prefect, a student leader, teachers' helper. Highly recognised and respected, but her parents knew nothing about it. All her achievements, her parents knew little about it. She don't expect her parents to compliment her, cause she know they will never. She did all these things not to get her parents' attention, but she just want to fulfill her potential.
In her secondary 3, she fell into anxiety, afraid of not being able to meet her expectations. She fell sick, but her parents never knew the reasons why she fell sick. She overcome the problem with the help from teachers and friends. For her O level year, she had a hard time struggling through, but she held on. Again, her parents never thought that she could pass O level. But, once and again, she surprise the people who looked down on her, she passed and made it to poly.
Just when things start to turn better, illness strikes her. She was found to have diabetes, inherited from her mother. Her world crashed upon knowing the news, but she brave it through and am living normally now. She started poly, but the problem with her parents never stop there. They discouraged her from studying, asking her to get married soon. She held on to what she believe, never letting her head down.
Parents, aren't they surpose to be the role model for their children? But why are they so many cases in which parents failed to be the child's role model?
The story above, the child mentioned is me, yes me. Who could have thought that I would grow up in a normal family in a not normal way? I have a father that drinks and gamble a lot while I was young. Though he stop gambling now, but his drinking habits never stop. When I was young, whenever he came home drunk, the one who suffered most is me. He would beat me up for no reason, scold me as instructed by my own mother.
I have a mother who never tried to understand me. People always tell me, there won't be any parents that would not love their child. I have one in front of me, how do you explain? She brought me down, real down in front of my grand mother. Swearing and cursing me like she had never done before.
Is she my Mother? Could she be a fake Mother? I have a Mother who calls her own daughter useless when she learns upon her daughter's illness. Hey, isn't it because of you that she got the illness?
My childhood hasn't been good to me, not for a moment with my parents. At a tender age, they left scars on my body, in my heart and in my memories. Scars so deep, that it still hurts when I think of them.
Lord, I still can't let go. You have saved me, healed me, but Lord, I still can't let go of this nightmare. It's too painful, the scars is too deep.
Lord, you told me to honor my parents, but Lord, how do I do that? How could I be nice to someone who murdered my childhood?
Lord, I tried. I tried to be nice to my parents, forget what they have done.. But God, I...
I don't blame them, I don't ask for anything more from them.. I just want them to be supportive. I can put the past behind.. But God, I hate them for what they have done..
I'm sorry God, I'm sorry
Release me..
I'm afriad that one day when I can no longer take it.. I would walk out from my parents, leaving them as what they are. Don't come and look for me when you have trouble, don't embaress me, don't tell others you are my parents. I would give you the money you need, don't come near me.
Lord, I am afriad of that..
Release me, Lord
Honor them? That is really difficult for me, Lord teach me how to do that. Everytime I try to treat them better, talk to them nicely, things just goes the other way. I prayed and ask God to let me be nicer to them, but Lord.. I can't.
I know there are parents lot worse then mine, I'm not that alone after all. People, before any of you become a parents, ask yourself if you got what it takes to be a good one.
I know of one mother, she didn't treat her child well since birth. The child is her only child, but she treated the baby like not of her own. She seldom carry the child in her arm, most of the time the baby was on the ground. It's normal for young children to ask for sweets, but the mother never once gave the child one sweet. Therefore, the child never did really ask for things from the parents. Once the child drop a bottle of soya sauce on the ground, it will be normal if the mother gets angry. But besides getting angry at the child, she threw things at the child, straight at her. The child was defenceless..
The mother had never encouraged the child to study hard, she didn't even care if the child did studied or not. When the child was ill in school, the mother never made an effort to bring the child home. The father, after a long day at work, would be the one coming. From what I know, the child had no one to turn to if she has questions about her homework. Because if she ask the father, she would get scoldings and accused. She never did like asking her father any questions about school. The parents never brought her for holidays, not even out to play during holidays. How did she spent her holidays then? She went over to her Grandma place. There, she learn how to swim, speak good english, goes to church and went for holiday. Though the holidays were to places not very far, but she enjoyed them, always.
The parents never did believe in what the child is doing. During her PSLE, they never thought she would pass. It would already be a bonus if she can make it to Secondary school. The child believed that she can pass. Indeed, the child failed to be the rotten apple of her parents' eyes. She passed her PSLE and made it to the EXPRESS stream. In secondary school, the child aim to be the different. She worked her way up to be a prefect, a student leader, teachers' helper. Highly recognised and respected, but her parents knew nothing about it. All her achievements, her parents knew little about it. She don't expect her parents to compliment her, cause she know they will never. She did all these things not to get her parents' attention, but she just want to fulfill her potential.
In her secondary 3, she fell into anxiety, afraid of not being able to meet her expectations. She fell sick, but her parents never knew the reasons why she fell sick. She overcome the problem with the help from teachers and friends. For her O level year, she had a hard time struggling through, but she held on. Again, her parents never thought that she could pass O level. But, once and again, she surprise the people who looked down on her, she passed and made it to poly.
Just when things start to turn better, illness strikes her. She was found to have diabetes, inherited from her mother. Her world crashed upon knowing the news, but she brave it through and am living normally now. She started poly, but the problem with her parents never stop there. They discouraged her from studying, asking her to get married soon. She held on to what she believe, never letting her head down.
Parents, aren't they surpose to be the role model for their children? But why are they so many cases in which parents failed to be the child's role model?
The story above, the child mentioned is me, yes me. Who could have thought that I would grow up in a normal family in a not normal way? I have a father that drinks and gamble a lot while I was young. Though he stop gambling now, but his drinking habits never stop. When I was young, whenever he came home drunk, the one who suffered most is me. He would beat me up for no reason, scold me as instructed by my own mother.
I have a mother who never tried to understand me. People always tell me, there won't be any parents that would not love their child. I have one in front of me, how do you explain? She brought me down, real down in front of my grand mother. Swearing and cursing me like she had never done before.
Is she my Mother? Could she be a fake Mother? I have a Mother who calls her own daughter useless when she learns upon her daughter's illness. Hey, isn't it because of you that she got the illness?
My childhood hasn't been good to me, not for a moment with my parents. At a tender age, they left scars on my body, in my heart and in my memories. Scars so deep, that it still hurts when I think of them.
Lord, I still can't let go. You have saved me, healed me, but Lord, I still can't let go of this nightmare. It's too painful, the scars is too deep.
Lord, you told me to honor my parents, but Lord, how do I do that? How could I be nice to someone who murdered my childhood?
Lord, I tried. I tried to be nice to my parents, forget what they have done.. But God, I...
I don't blame them, I don't ask for anything more from them.. I just want them to be supportive. I can put the past behind.. But God, I hate them for what they have done..
I'm sorry God, I'm sorry
Release me..
I'm afriad that one day when I can no longer take it.. I would walk out from my parents, leaving them as what they are. Don't come and look for me when you have trouble, don't embaress me, don't tell others you are my parents. I would give you the money you need, don't come near me.
Lord, I am afriad of that..
Release me, Lord
Friday, May 27, 2005
Ain't life wonderful in Poly?
Back in the office today *WeEeE* been quite awhile since I came back. I sure do miss working and drawing in the office. It just feels so nice to see Charlene and my oh-so-wonderful sitting place! Greeting me on my table was a thick set of Retail papers, waiting for me to draw. *GeEee* I just missed those working days! Charlene just told me that Adrian had asked Cleo to help out in TYEM. Boy, I do feel sour when I heard that. Enough. Shan't let that disturb me, and destroy my day.
I was so, so , so, so ,so stressed out after yesterday's Digital Imaging lab lesson. The lecturer is like talking to himself half of the time! Almost all of us got lost at what to do at PhotoShop and mind you it's three straight hours of lab lesson. Alright, that's the stressed out part. After Digital Image class, had an hour break and down to C Maths lecture. Guess what time was that? 7p.m alright, and lecture ends like 8p.m? Isn't it just wonderful to stay in school till so late? I just "love" it so much, yeah.. Really.
Tuesday's first lecture was C Maths, first lesson wasn't as difficult as I expect it to be. So far, I have gone through IISO, NMM, Digital Imaging, PRSP and C Maths. Today, I will experience Visual Lit. Another 3 straight hours of lesson, oh boy!
Coming monday, my last lecture will end at 9p.m. Is this what Poly life is? Come on people. I think my course is the combination of some Design school's course, Business School's course and IT school's course. I have Digital Imaging, which I have to deal with Photography and editing-- Doesn't that sounds familar in one of the Design School's course? IISO, dealing with how companies link up with IT and how they function-- Isn't that surpose to be in Business school? Talk about animation, movie making, website creation and designing--That's the IT part. I think by the end of three years, I can be all rounder in Business, IT and Design!
Lesson today is at 3p.m, I think I can have the reason to come back to office every friday! But hey, too early to say yeah? First week of school and we are already bombared by so many on-coming projects and assignments to do. Lord, let me learn not by my own understanding but by Your wisdom and knowledge.
I have been trying my best to stay positive and calm down whenever I get stressed. I shouldn't repeat the mistakes I made back in Secondary school. Take things easy, do you know that half of the time we worry about things we don't have too?
Made quite a number of friends in Poly, not bad for the first week! I missed Secondary school life, where everything was given to us by teachers. In poly, I have to print my own lectures, tutorial and lad notes. No print, no notes. Oh boy, poly life, I can't believe I'm in poly already!
IISO, NMM, PRSP, Digital Imaging, Visual Lit, C Maths and APEL-- they are just going to be my best friends now.
I aim to be the best in poly, aiming for LKY awards! Grace, commit all unto the Lord, seek His kingdom and His righteous first and all that shall be given unto you.
Stay happy, stay positive and all things will be alright. Hang on and it's always too soon to quite!
I was so, so , so, so ,so stressed out after yesterday's Digital Imaging lab lesson. The lecturer is like talking to himself half of the time! Almost all of us got lost at what to do at PhotoShop and mind you it's three straight hours of lab lesson. Alright, that's the stressed out part. After Digital Image class, had an hour break and down to C Maths lecture. Guess what time was that? 7p.m alright, and lecture ends like 8p.m? Isn't it just wonderful to stay in school till so late? I just "love" it so much, yeah.. Really.
Tuesday's first lecture was C Maths, first lesson wasn't as difficult as I expect it to be. So far, I have gone through IISO, NMM, Digital Imaging, PRSP and C Maths. Today, I will experience Visual Lit. Another 3 straight hours of lesson, oh boy!
Coming monday, my last lecture will end at 9p.m. Is this what Poly life is? Come on people. I think my course is the combination of some Design school's course, Business School's course and IT school's course. I have Digital Imaging, which I have to deal with Photography and editing-- Doesn't that sounds familar in one of the Design School's course? IISO, dealing with how companies link up with IT and how they function-- Isn't that surpose to be in Business school? Talk about animation, movie making, website creation and designing--That's the IT part. I think by the end of three years, I can be all rounder in Business, IT and Design!
Lesson today is at 3p.m, I think I can have the reason to come back to office every friday! But hey, too early to say yeah? First week of school and we are already bombared by so many on-coming projects and assignments to do. Lord, let me learn not by my own understanding but by Your wisdom and knowledge.
I have been trying my best to stay positive and calm down whenever I get stressed. I shouldn't repeat the mistakes I made back in Secondary school. Take things easy, do you know that half of the time we worry about things we don't have too?
Made quite a number of friends in Poly, not bad for the first week! I missed Secondary school life, where everything was given to us by teachers. In poly, I have to print my own lectures, tutorial and lad notes. No print, no notes. Oh boy, poly life, I can't believe I'm in poly already!
IISO, NMM, PRSP, Digital Imaging, Visual Lit, C Maths and APEL-- they are just going to be my best friends now.
I aim to be the best in poly, aiming for LKY awards! Grace, commit all unto the Lord, seek His kingdom and His righteous first and all that shall be given unto you.
Stay happy, stay positive and all things will be alright. Hang on and it's always too soon to quite!
Monday, May 23, 2005
Say It Isn't So
Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so
Ten to five at
least we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneth the wheels
As I wish I never found you
How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on
Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling ohI got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore
Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so
Ten to five at
least we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneth the wheels
As I wish I never found you
How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on
Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling ohI got miles and miles to go
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again
Lord,sent your workers to your harvest
Fianally I am awake! Was blogging this morning, was almost done when I decided to stop. Werid huh? Not after I discovered that half of what I type has gone out of sight! Came back from Gula this morning, reached Singapore like about 7 plus in the morning. This trip was wonderful, I did many meaningful things yeah?
Firstly, let me update what has taken place since I last blog. Me, Ling and Na went on with our plans to Sentosa. Though it was still raining while we were travelling there, the rain stopped as soon as we reached! Hallelujah! Had a fun time in the water and covering Na under the sand. I had my fun too, but it was freak out by some Indian guy. Shan't mention much about this person, just freak us out. After so, we went over to Harbour Front for dinner! *Yum*Yum*, been a long time since I last had dinner with the girls. Went over to Coffe Club for coffee and cake.. It was a wonderful day, short and sweet. Took some pictures as well.. Take a look!
That was tuesday alright. Wednesday went back to work, last day already! Oh boy, time sure flies like Superman wearing pink underwear. Drew cartoons, chatted and the day ended. Met Duane, haven seen him since he came back from Italy.
Thursday, went for TP Orientation. Wasn't as bad as I though it would be. Enjoyed the cheers and especially the school song! "Temasak's me Temasak's you. We are a team." There's action to go with it as well.. School song won't be as boring as it is any more.
Friday was the same thing. I took part in the Regatta thing. Though we didn't win, but we had a fun time. made a number of friends, but time is still early. I could have left early for the Malaysia trip that night, but couldn't cause Joycelyn had my bag. I waitied for her and left like abround 7pm Because of the damn jam at Ubi, I reached home like 8p.m? I was rushing like mad to get out of the house. Still, I'm not the last one to arrive, Aaron is! He went to the wrong bus station and we all had to wait for him. He's just one funny guy!
We reached Gula around 6 plus in the morning. Had breakfast and set off to the village. Prepared for the programme in the evening, had lunch, dinner all that stuff. Programme for the youths wasn't bad. had a play put up by us. I acted as the victim bashed up by Wan Yi. Boy, I think my make up rules. it was so real, it almost scare the freal out of Qiao Zhu Lao Shi! Jia ying added to my make up, he suggested putting on bandage! The night ended with Banana prata, corn prata and Roti tissue.
Sunday morning, woke up like around 7 by Qiao Zhu Lao Shi. Thanks to her, or else me and Wan Yi would never wake up. Had breakfast and set off to the Kindergarden. While on the way to Kindergarden, we saw a lady fell of from her motorbike. We didn't thought it was anything serious, cause she looked fine. When I was about to enter the Kindergarden, Wan Yi came asking for me. She said that the lady was bleeding and needed help. I and her rushed back to get the first aid kit. I cleaned her wounds, and bandage it. She was in a daze, lost of what to do. The first thing she asked was whether it was serious, cause she had diabetes. I can understand how she must have felt I had diabetes as well, I know how scary it is when we get wounds. She thought we are going to charge her, but it was meant to be free. I didn't even think of charging her for a second.
While attending to her, I can see the fear in her. She didn't know who we are, what are we doing, or are we going to charge her. By these, it hurts me. There's so many lost souls yet unsaved, yet to hear of Jesus Christ. It hurts me to see all these. How I wish I can reach out to all, bring hope to them. Lord, sent your workers to your harvest.
We may sow the seets in tears, but we will harvest with joy. Amen?
School is starting tomorrow, kinda looking forward to it. I think I am aiming for the LKY Awards and other awards. Wanna be the best that I can be, bringing honor and glory to God's name. Lord, guide me and lead me. Whatever it is, let me walk in faith!
I talked to Qiao Zhu Lao Shi about YCK Gospel Hall. She felt the same way as me, finally someone understand. She is open to such things.. Thank God. The question of changing church is still in my mind.. Time just isn't right yet.
I'm all afresh now! Ready for tomorrow.. Lawrence smsed me, glad to know that he is fine. I'll call him later..
Firstly, let me update what has taken place since I last blog. Me, Ling and Na went on with our plans to Sentosa. Though it was still raining while we were travelling there, the rain stopped as soon as we reached! Hallelujah! Had a fun time in the water and covering Na under the sand. I had my fun too, but it was freak out by some Indian guy. Shan't mention much about this person, just freak us out. After so, we went over to Harbour Front for dinner! *Yum*Yum*, been a long time since I last had dinner with the girls. Went over to Coffe Club for coffee and cake.. It was a wonderful day, short and sweet. Took some pictures as well.. Take a look!
That was tuesday alright. Wednesday went back to work, last day already! Oh boy, time sure flies like Superman wearing pink underwear. Drew cartoons, chatted and the day ended. Met Duane, haven seen him since he came back from Italy.
Thursday, went for TP Orientation. Wasn't as bad as I though it would be. Enjoyed the cheers and especially the school song! "Temasak's me Temasak's you. We are a team." There's action to go with it as well.. School song won't be as boring as it is any more.
Friday was the same thing. I took part in the Regatta thing. Though we didn't win, but we had a fun time. made a number of friends, but time is still early. I could have left early for the Malaysia trip that night, but couldn't cause Joycelyn had my bag. I waitied for her and left like abround 7pm Because of the damn jam at Ubi, I reached home like 8p.m? I was rushing like mad to get out of the house. Still, I'm not the last one to arrive, Aaron is! He went to the wrong bus station and we all had to wait for him. He's just one funny guy!
We reached Gula around 6 plus in the morning. Had breakfast and set off to the village. Prepared for the programme in the evening, had lunch, dinner all that stuff. Programme for the youths wasn't bad. had a play put up by us. I acted as the victim bashed up by Wan Yi. Boy, I think my make up rules. it was so real, it almost scare the freal out of Qiao Zhu Lao Shi! Jia ying added to my make up, he suggested putting on bandage! The night ended with Banana prata, corn prata and Roti tissue.
Sunday morning, woke up like around 7 by Qiao Zhu Lao Shi. Thanks to her, or else me and Wan Yi would never wake up. Had breakfast and set off to the Kindergarden. While on the way to Kindergarden, we saw a lady fell of from her motorbike. We didn't thought it was anything serious, cause she looked fine. When I was about to enter the Kindergarden, Wan Yi came asking for me. She said that the lady was bleeding and needed help. I and her rushed back to get the first aid kit. I cleaned her wounds, and bandage it. She was in a daze, lost of what to do. The first thing she asked was whether it was serious, cause she had diabetes. I can understand how she must have felt I had diabetes as well, I know how scary it is when we get wounds. She thought we are going to charge her, but it was meant to be free. I didn't even think of charging her for a second.
While attending to her, I can see the fear in her. She didn't know who we are, what are we doing, or are we going to charge her. By these, it hurts me. There's so many lost souls yet unsaved, yet to hear of Jesus Christ. It hurts me to see all these. How I wish I can reach out to all, bring hope to them. Lord, sent your workers to your harvest.
We may sow the seets in tears, but we will harvest with joy. Amen?
School is starting tomorrow, kinda looking forward to it. I think I am aiming for the LKY Awards and other awards. Wanna be the best that I can be, bringing honor and glory to God's name. Lord, guide me and lead me. Whatever it is, let me walk in faith!
I talked to Qiao Zhu Lao Shi about YCK Gospel Hall. She felt the same way as me, finally someone understand. She is open to such things.. Thank God. The question of changing church is still in my mind.. Time just isn't right yet.
I'm all afresh now! Ready for tomorrow.. Lawrence smsed me, glad to know that he is fine. I'll call him later..
The beautiful three, latest make up in the market. Cheap and nice to use.. Say "Cheeze!"--- By the way Steph, stop licking my face will ya? Did you notice the magnificent ribbon on our head? Nice yeah?
Say... Ain't we nuts or what? Notice the "people" behind us? Hee...
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Rain rain go away
Rain rain go away, come again another day.. Boy, it has been raning since early morning. We are going to sentosa today! Rain, stop raining!! Shoo... Come again another day.
Meeting Ling and Liana 2.30p.m, hope that by then, the rain would stop and the sun, please come out! Well, it may seem impossible, but all things are possible to God!
Boy, I'm just going to enjoy today before school starts.
I'm meeting Petrina on thursday, we're going for orientation together!! YipEe, I'm not that alone after all. Yeah, just got to know Ben is in TP as well, in business. Did I tell you I did choose business as well, but it was the last few choices? What if I got into Business? HmMmm..
Don't think Ling and Liana will be on time, so I will just take my time to update my blog. But, I think that's all for now, I'll go read the other's.
Chao~
Meeting Ling and Liana 2.30p.m, hope that by then, the rain would stop and the sun, please come out! Well, it may seem impossible, but all things are possible to God!
Boy, I'm just going to enjoy today before school starts.
I'm meeting Petrina on thursday, we're going for orientation together!! YipEe, I'm not that alone after all. Yeah, just got to know Ben is in TP as well, in business. Did I tell you I did choose business as well, but it was the last few choices? What if I got into Business? HmMmm..
Don't think Ling and Liana will be on time, so I will just take my time to update my blog. But, I think that's all for now, I'll go read the other's.
Chao~
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Over the moon!!
I'm so over the moon! Tong Yang Lao Shi is back in town, finally after 5 years! I sure do miss him a lot, but I miss his wife, En Hua Lao Shi more. Will be having dinner with him this Wednesday together with some church memebers. Can't get to attend his sermon this sunday, by then I would be in Gula,Malaysia. En Hua Lao Shi didn't come along, I would really love to see her. Still can remember that faithful day...
I was waiting anxiously for En Hua Lao Shi to arrive, she said that she would be early for lunch, but she came late. Grandma and me went to airport early, and we met Pris and her cousins over there. I still can remember, when I saw her coming out of the church van, I ran all the way towards her.. When she left, I didn't wave good-bye to her, I just stood there and watch her go. Time flies, it's has been five years already! All of us has gorwn up and she and Tong Yang Lao Shi had a son named Hai Yang. I wonder if Tong Yang Lao Shi would still look the same. I'll pass him somethings to pass to En Hua Lao Shi and Hai Yang.
These two teachers have left deep footprints in me, touching and changing my life. Didn't had much impression of them untill En Hua Lao Shi taught my class for sunday school. Wasn't close to her at first, but we got close after a few months. She taught my class for 2 years and the half, before she has to go back to Myanmar. Lesson with her was always fun, Pris and me would rush down after Singspiration to the class room, sometimes even without our shoes.
Once, En Hua Lao Shi had a long chat with me, I was only 11 then. She told me a lot of things, when she and Tong Yang Lao Shi are getting married and stuff. We went to a church camp together and had a really fun time in her room! Haha, making prank calls, eating tibits, boy... That was fun! I missed those days..
Last lesson, as usual, me and Pris rushed down after singing. We saw her standing silently against a pillar, in deep thoughts. She didn't even notice that we were coming. Of course, me and Pris didn't know that was our last lesson with her, we were still smiling and happy. When she broke out the news, I was all stuned. I was the first one to cry, she hugged me. Bao Feng Lao Shi came in to talk, cause she was going to take over the class. She saw me and asked En Hua Lao Shi what happen to me. I can still remember she said that I was not feeling well. Thanks En Hua Lao Shi, for being understand, you have always been. When the lesson end, we prayed together.. She cried, broke down into tears, so did all of us. Me and Pris went to the toilet and after we came out, we saw her standing alone, drying her tears. I would never forget that moment. A dedicated teacher, who gave all she could. That's what I call, a real teacher.
Oh.. typing all this, just make me recall those wonderful memories. I miss her.. Haa.. A wonderful teacher. Over the years, we kept in contact through letters, looks like I am the only one left who is still writting to her.
Can't wait for Wednesday!!
I was waiting anxiously for En Hua Lao Shi to arrive, she said that she would be early for lunch, but she came late. Grandma and me went to airport early, and we met Pris and her cousins over there. I still can remember, when I saw her coming out of the church van, I ran all the way towards her.. When she left, I didn't wave good-bye to her, I just stood there and watch her go. Time flies, it's has been five years already! All of us has gorwn up and she and Tong Yang Lao Shi had a son named Hai Yang. I wonder if Tong Yang Lao Shi would still look the same. I'll pass him somethings to pass to En Hua Lao Shi and Hai Yang.
These two teachers have left deep footprints in me, touching and changing my life. Didn't had much impression of them untill En Hua Lao Shi taught my class for sunday school. Wasn't close to her at first, but we got close after a few months. She taught my class for 2 years and the half, before she has to go back to Myanmar. Lesson with her was always fun, Pris and me would rush down after Singspiration to the class room, sometimes even without our shoes.
Once, En Hua Lao Shi had a long chat with me, I was only 11 then. She told me a lot of things, when she and Tong Yang Lao Shi are getting married and stuff. We went to a church camp together and had a really fun time in her room! Haha, making prank calls, eating tibits, boy... That was fun! I missed those days..
Last lesson, as usual, me and Pris rushed down after singing. We saw her standing silently against a pillar, in deep thoughts. She didn't even notice that we were coming. Of course, me and Pris didn't know that was our last lesson with her, we were still smiling and happy. When she broke out the news, I was all stuned. I was the first one to cry, she hugged me. Bao Feng Lao Shi came in to talk, cause she was going to take over the class. She saw me and asked En Hua Lao Shi what happen to me. I can still remember she said that I was not feeling well. Thanks En Hua Lao Shi, for being understand, you have always been. When the lesson end, we prayed together.. She cried, broke down into tears, so did all of us. Me and Pris went to the toilet and after we came out, we saw her standing alone, drying her tears. I would never forget that moment. A dedicated teacher, who gave all she could. That's what I call, a real teacher.
Oh.. typing all this, just make me recall those wonderful memories. I miss her.. Haa.. A wonderful teacher. Over the years, we kept in contact through letters, looks like I am the only one left who is still writting to her.
Can't wait for Wednesday!!
Numb
Time has been what you want me to be,
feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me,
but under the pressure, I'm walkin in your shoes
I'm caught in the undertow,
just caught in the undertow.
Every step I take is another mistake to you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
Can't you see that you're smothering me,
holding too tightly, afraid to loose control.
Cause everything that you thought I would be,
is falling apart, right in front of you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.
Every step I'm taking is another mistake to you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.
And every second I waste is more than I can take.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
And I know,I may end up failing too.
But I know,you were just like me,
with someone dissapointed in you.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
time has been what you want me to be.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
I'm tired of be what you want me to be.
This song do tell a lot of what we teenagers wanna say yeah? To parents, teachers.. Sometimes, they just pushed us too much. All we ask for, is your understanding and support. Agree? Let us realise our dream, let us dream. Before any great things was done, it was once considered impossible. Break up the word impossible. you'll see.. I-M-POSSIBLE
It's normal for parents to have high expectations on their children, but too high isn't good. Let them enjoy their childhood, what they deserve. Every child have the right to choose, don't take that away from them.
Parents sometimes ask a lot from their children because they don't want their child to follow their footsteps or want them to follow their footsteps. But think, parents might have brought the child to earth, but that doesn't give parents right to decide their future. They are born to be what they are meant to be. Let them discover who they are. Yes, the child might obey what the parents command, but are they happy about it? Listen to this song, maybe parents would know.
Give child the right to think, don't control them. Guide them, show them your support, show them that you believe in them-- that's more than enough! Isn't very hard yeah...
This songs somehow applys to me as well, my parents gave me pressure too... But not of high expectations, they just want me to be normal, to be like them.. But I don't want to. I know I can achieve, don't be selfish and expect me to be just like you. Don't have to make up for what you have done to me in the past, it's all history. All I ask, believe in me, give me your support, the way ahead of me, I know God will guide me and lead me. You will be proud of your daughter, you will understand one day.
feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me,
but under the pressure, I'm walkin in your shoes
I'm caught in the undertow,
just caught in the undertow.
Every step I take is another mistake to you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
Can't you see that you're smothering me,
holding too tightly, afraid to loose control.
Cause everything that you thought I would be,
is falling apart, right in front of you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.
Every step I'm taking is another mistake to you.
I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.
And every second I waste is more than I can take.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
And I know,I may end up failing too.
But I know,you were just like me,
with someone dissapointed in you.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more awake.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do.
Is be more like me, and be less like you.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
time has been what you want me to be.
I become so numb, I can feel you there,
I'm tired of be what you want me to be.
This song do tell a lot of what we teenagers wanna say yeah? To parents, teachers.. Sometimes, they just pushed us too much. All we ask for, is your understanding and support. Agree? Let us realise our dream, let us dream. Before any great things was done, it was once considered impossible. Break up the word impossible. you'll see.. I-M-POSSIBLE
It's normal for parents to have high expectations on their children, but too high isn't good. Let them enjoy their childhood, what they deserve. Every child have the right to choose, don't take that away from them.
Parents sometimes ask a lot from their children because they don't want their child to follow their footsteps or want them to follow their footsteps. But think, parents might have brought the child to earth, but that doesn't give parents right to decide their future. They are born to be what they are meant to be. Let them discover who they are. Yes, the child might obey what the parents command, but are they happy about it? Listen to this song, maybe parents would know.
Give child the right to think, don't control them. Guide them, show them your support, show them that you believe in them-- that's more than enough! Isn't very hard yeah...
This songs somehow applys to me as well, my parents gave me pressure too... But not of high expectations, they just want me to be normal, to be like them.. But I don't want to. I know I can achieve, don't be selfish and expect me to be just like you. Don't have to make up for what you have done to me in the past, it's all history. All I ask, believe in me, give me your support, the way ahead of me, I know God will guide me and lead me. You will be proud of your daughter, you will understand one day.
Communication,people!
Raining kitten*Meow* and puppies*Woof* outside at the moment, what a wonderful night to fall asleep! Alright, I shall bath later before I sleep. Eh, not that I'm a dirty pig, but sometimes when I'm too tired after church, I would just pop down to bed, without bathing. But I do bath in the morning yeah! I'm not that dirty after all, LoL!
Finally I had my birthday pictures up! Take a look guys, not that well taken, but oh well, I enjoyed that night.
Just came back from church, I was really hungry on the way back and began yawning and yawning. That's not a good sign for me, if I kept yawning, that means I am not feeling well. Ling called me just now in church, but was unable to talk as I was running some games for the fellowship. Manage to ring her up on the bus, I think they are having something on this Wednesday. Something fishy yeah... What's up? You better tell me! Oh well, whatever you guys do, don't sell me away!
Let me update what happen a few days ago, haven got the chance to blog. First, I took a plane and flew up to the mood and met Mr. Mars! Ok, I know that's lame, L-A-M-E!
Went for friday's conference over at CHC, I reached at about the same time as thursday, but I didn't manage to get it! I couldn't even enter the Chinese church or cafe. I went to the lobby for service, boy, that was a terrible place for service. We weren't even allowed to clap our hands! The place is cramp, and aircon isn't really cold enough. I didn't let that affect me, I prayed, knowing that God is everywhere, not just in the main hall!
I enjoyed the service, but I think it would have been much better in the main hall. For this conference, I felt that God wanted me to attend for a special reason. I have been so stubborn for the past few months, He explained everything to me that two nights. On friday, Dr Phile mentioned that people will react to us by how we react to them and treat us by how we treat them. True yeah? Emotions should not rule us and our mind. I then realise my mistake, a great mistake that I have committed. Lord, thanks for waking me up and defeating me so that You can raise me up again.
God sometimes might appeared to be asleep, the reason why? So that we can wake up to who we are. Amen! Fellowship in my church tonight was great as well. Had a speaker and she talked about Communication.
Communication, proper communication is what almost everyone lacks. Agree? Can you live in harmony with a person for 7 days, if you can, you are bravo! People have difficulty communicating with each other, especially for teenagers. I find it hard to communicate with my parents, especially Mum. Mum and me can't really communicate well since young. Unlike other parents, she treat me like a "special" kid. Most of the time she don't talk, so I have gotten use to that. Nowadays because of my illness, she tend to remind me of not to do this or eat that. Not that I don't like her doing that, but sometimes she just keep going on and on and on. Since she had never spoken to me since young, when she suddenly talk so much, I couldn't take it.
Take for today when she reminds me of my diet that I have to follow.She kept going on and on, I got irritated and asked her to, you know, "Shut up". I know I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't feeling good inside me, but I don't know how to treat her the way other children would treat their Mum. Looking at how Yu Men and Aunty Lee Juan get along, I just hope that me and Mum can be like them. However, it's because of the way she treat me and the way she brought me up, I know it's somehow impossible to be so.
People would thought that only child are usually very blessed. Not in my case! My parents didn't treat me like a only child, I was very much left alone since young. Different childhood from others, different up bringing, "different" type of parents too! So, when people asl me how come I could be the me now, I think I should ask them to understand my childhood, maybe they will know.
Oh well, that's all history. Let the past be the past, I shan't hold on to it. What's the point right? I'll pray about it, like what Qiao Zhu Lao Shi and Erwin had advice me before. I will, I don't wanna see the same time happen again to my own child. I see my younger cousin going through the same thing as me, maybe she's worse. God, watch over her.
I kindda miss Jacko, haven seen her for a long time. Wondered how she is with her Mom. We'll meet again Jacko, although you're naughty at times, but Grace Jie Jie misses you yeah? Take care girl.
Finally I had my birthday pictures up! Take a look guys, not that well taken, but oh well, I enjoyed that night.
Just came back from church, I was really hungry on the way back and began yawning and yawning. That's not a good sign for me, if I kept yawning, that means I am not feeling well. Ling called me just now in church, but was unable to talk as I was running some games for the fellowship. Manage to ring her up on the bus, I think they are having something on this Wednesday. Something fishy yeah... What's up? You better tell me! Oh well, whatever you guys do, don't sell me away!
Let me update what happen a few days ago, haven got the chance to blog. First, I took a plane and flew up to the mood and met Mr. Mars! Ok, I know that's lame, L-A-M-E!
Went for friday's conference over at CHC, I reached at about the same time as thursday, but I didn't manage to get it! I couldn't even enter the Chinese church or cafe. I went to the lobby for service, boy, that was a terrible place for service. We weren't even allowed to clap our hands! The place is cramp, and aircon isn't really cold enough. I didn't let that affect me, I prayed, knowing that God is everywhere, not just in the main hall!
I enjoyed the service, but I think it would have been much better in the main hall. For this conference, I felt that God wanted me to attend for a special reason. I have been so stubborn for the past few months, He explained everything to me that two nights. On friday, Dr Phile mentioned that people will react to us by how we react to them and treat us by how we treat them. True yeah? Emotions should not rule us and our mind. I then realise my mistake, a great mistake that I have committed. Lord, thanks for waking me up and defeating me so that You can raise me up again.
God sometimes might appeared to be asleep, the reason why? So that we can wake up to who we are. Amen! Fellowship in my church tonight was great as well. Had a speaker and she talked about Communication.
Communication, proper communication is what almost everyone lacks. Agree? Can you live in harmony with a person for 7 days, if you can, you are bravo! People have difficulty communicating with each other, especially for teenagers. I find it hard to communicate with my parents, especially Mum. Mum and me can't really communicate well since young. Unlike other parents, she treat me like a "special" kid. Most of the time she don't talk, so I have gotten use to that. Nowadays because of my illness, she tend to remind me of not to do this or eat that. Not that I don't like her doing that, but sometimes she just keep going on and on and on. Since she had never spoken to me since young, when she suddenly talk so much, I couldn't take it.
Take for today when she reminds me of my diet that I have to follow.She kept going on and on, I got irritated and asked her to, you know, "Shut up". I know I shouldn't have done that, I wasn't feeling good inside me, but I don't know how to treat her the way other children would treat their Mum. Looking at how Yu Men and Aunty Lee Juan get along, I just hope that me and Mum can be like them. However, it's because of the way she treat me and the way she brought me up, I know it's somehow impossible to be so.
People would thought that only child are usually very blessed. Not in my case! My parents didn't treat me like a only child, I was very much left alone since young. Different childhood from others, different up bringing, "different" type of parents too! So, when people asl me how come I could be the me now, I think I should ask them to understand my childhood, maybe they will know.
Oh well, that's all history. Let the past be the past, I shan't hold on to it. What's the point right? I'll pray about it, like what Qiao Zhu Lao Shi and Erwin had advice me before. I will, I don't wanna see the same time happen again to my own child. I see my younger cousin going through the same thing as me, maybe she's worse. God, watch over her.
I kindda miss Jacko, haven seen her for a long time. Wondered how she is with her Mom. We'll meet again Jacko, although you're naughty at times, but Grace Jie Jie misses you yeah? Take care girl.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
I found this photo!! Oh boy, miss New Year Day..When's our next gathering,girls?
Stop acting cute,Si Yun! Grace, you should have smash the cream on her face,not her hand!
Daughter and Mother celebrating Daughter's birthday and belated Mother's day? Can you believe that she's my Mom? She gave birth to me while she was only 5!!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Empowered
I haven felt this way for long, way too long already! Oh boy, praise the Lord!! Grace is back, full force and ready to creat history!
For the past few months, I don't know what have gotten into me. It's not me, really not me. When I reflect back from where I came from, it's scary, even to me. I scared myself with my own behaviour. Grace, what has gotten into you? But oh well, it's all history. Forget my mistakes, but remember what they have taught me yeah? Hee :)
Joy at last, peace at last. No longer am I troubled, really! Yesterday while on the way to church, I was totally freshen up, I can really feel my heart lighten up! Thank you God, you have always ben wonderful and will always be.
Conference yesterday evening was great, now I know why I brough my Bible out. I didn't thought of going to the conference untill late in the afternoon. Amazingly, in the morning I brough the Bible out while I have stop for a few weeks! God, thanks for arranging all that.
Yes, no matter how tough the situation will get, Jesus is determined to bring me to the other end. I may be defeated, but God will renew my strength. God might defeat me, so that I will be renewed with His strength.
My dream died few weeks ago, but now it has came to life. I can feel the passion burning in me again, I'm going to be more determined this time. After going through so much, I am made stronger and firmer. In relationship wise, I've grown up.
Lord, you have been wonderful! Thanks for everything, I Love you Jesus!
To all the people whom I have affected in one way or another, especially friends that have been concern: Really wanna apologise for what I have done in the past few weeks, causing troubles and making you guys worry. Gracie will be stronger and firmer. Be prepared to see her make history! Thanks for being there in one way or another. Many thanks to my friends for all your encouragements, I tresured them lots. Millions of thanks for those who came into my life as well! You came for a reason, not by chance. I might have caused disturbances, I have realise my mistakes. Thanks to my mentors, Ah Bu and most of all, beloved Christ Jesus.
Life isn't fair, Jesus' life wasn't fair as well. I shouldn't conplain, for I will finish the battle with faith.
Future history-maker, world-shaker, entrepreneur, impactful speaker, missionarie... I'm ready for it! Come all that may, I have God with me. :)
For the past few months, I don't know what have gotten into me. It's not me, really not me. When I reflect back from where I came from, it's scary, even to me. I scared myself with my own behaviour. Grace, what has gotten into you? But oh well, it's all history. Forget my mistakes, but remember what they have taught me yeah? Hee :)
Joy at last, peace at last. No longer am I troubled, really! Yesterday while on the way to church, I was totally freshen up, I can really feel my heart lighten up! Thank you God, you have always ben wonderful and will always be.
Conference yesterday evening was great, now I know why I brough my Bible out. I didn't thought of going to the conference untill late in the afternoon. Amazingly, in the morning I brough the Bible out while I have stop for a few weeks! God, thanks for arranging all that.
Yes, no matter how tough the situation will get, Jesus is determined to bring me to the other end. I may be defeated, but God will renew my strength. God might defeat me, so that I will be renewed with His strength.
My dream died few weeks ago, but now it has came to life. I can feel the passion burning in me again, I'm going to be more determined this time. After going through so much, I am made stronger and firmer. In relationship wise, I've grown up.
Lord, you have been wonderful! Thanks for everything, I Love you Jesus!
To all the people whom I have affected in one way or another, especially friends that have been concern: Really wanna apologise for what I have done in the past few weeks, causing troubles and making you guys worry. Gracie will be stronger and firmer. Be prepared to see her make history! Thanks for being there in one way or another. Many thanks to my friends for all your encouragements, I tresured them lots. Millions of thanks for those who came into my life as well! You came for a reason, not by chance. I might have caused disturbances, I have realise my mistakes. Thanks to my mentors, Ah Bu and most of all, beloved Christ Jesus.
Life isn't fair, Jesus' life wasn't fair as well. I shouldn't conplain, for I will finish the battle with faith.
Future history-maker, world-shaker, entrepreneur, impactful speaker, missionarie... I'm ready for it! Come all that may, I have God with me. :)
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I'm really sorry
Haven been doing much since morning, except that I read finish the book I bought from Rod, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell. A good book to read, but I took too long. Didn't had much self discipline, that's why such a long time. Time I source for another new book!
Have been feeling terrible, but am much better now. My hands are not that cold, my heart beat is back to normal (Not that I have heart attack!) I'm not going to inject my insulin, I'm not going to eat. Tonight, I will cut myself to show that I mean it. I will turn rebellious and I am not going to go school anymore--->Think I will do that? Come on, I have braved through many storms.. This storm will just be fine. *Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. Everyone makes mistakes..*
To him: I'm really sorry for causing all those unhappiness. I didn't want things to turn out that way, I didn't mean to. I guess I really need more time to reflect in this area yeah? Maybe it's good that you avoid me, I will feel better. But one thing for sure, I didn't make use of anyone. Everything I do or did, has not evil intention. Sorry, I know the scar will be there, but.. I'm really sorry. I don't wish to see this friendship go to waste, but I know and understand all things happen for a reason. It's your wish.. But I really do hope you will be fine. Forgive Grace, cause sometimes she's like Uncle, she do stupid things. Don't be scared, I won't eat you up. I promise I will be fine. You're more like a big brother to me, I have straighten my thoughts. God has shaken me up. I have made a mistake, but it's through mistakes I learn yeah? Sorry to have cause unhappiness.. Really.
Dear Lord, thank you for being there. Even when my hands are really cold, I know you will not turn cold on me. You understand how I must have felt inside and know that I have committed a great mistakes. But Lord, I know you gave me chance, You allow me to see and know my mistakes. You didn't give up on me. Lord, I know certain times I did things to hurt others, directly or indirectly. God, forgive me of my sins. Lord, I know certain times I can't forgive myself, but God, You want me to forgive myself, so that I can forgive others. I should forget my mistakes but remember what they have taught me. I don't know what's is going to happen, but I know running away is not what God wants me to do, right? God, I broke your heart, you forgave me and when I broke mine, you mend it for me. Lord, let me not hold on the past, for what has happen can't be reverted. Let me treat it as a learning experience, overcome it and gain strength from it. God, take away the burden and the guilt I hold inside. Leave me up from my burden and let me heal in you. I commit everything unto you Lord.
Amen
Second time I got into trouble with my blog entries.. But this time I am made stronger.
Believe me for once more that.. I really didn't mean what I did, I didn't know what I have type here or done has caused trouble for you or had disturbed you. It's really not your fault. But please understand that no one can be stable when it come to emotions. But don't worry, I'm alright now. Over the months, I have learnt a lot, don't think will take long to put down what I have picked up.
I just wish, things would be just normal again. Forgive me, will you? It's really not your fault.. It's a moment of folly. I tresured our friendship.
Talking about that, God let me come to sense in many different ways, mostly the hard way. From the past events, I can tell. When I walk on the wrong path, God will lead me back. Thank you God for leading me back.
I just wanna make things well again.. Give me a chance
Have been feeling terrible, but am much better now. My hands are not that cold, my heart beat is back to normal (Not that I have heart attack!) I'm not going to inject my insulin, I'm not going to eat. Tonight, I will cut myself to show that I mean it. I will turn rebellious and I am not going to go school anymore--->Think I will do that? Come on, I have braved through many storms.. This storm will just be fine. *Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. Everyone makes mistakes..*
To him: I'm really sorry for causing all those unhappiness. I didn't want things to turn out that way, I didn't mean to. I guess I really need more time to reflect in this area yeah? Maybe it's good that you avoid me, I will feel better. But one thing for sure, I didn't make use of anyone. Everything I do or did, has not evil intention. Sorry, I know the scar will be there, but.. I'm really sorry. I don't wish to see this friendship go to waste, but I know and understand all things happen for a reason. It's your wish.. But I really do hope you will be fine. Forgive Grace, cause sometimes she's like Uncle, she do stupid things. Don't be scared, I won't eat you up. I promise I will be fine. You're more like a big brother to me, I have straighten my thoughts. God has shaken me up. I have made a mistake, but it's through mistakes I learn yeah? Sorry to have cause unhappiness.. Really.
Dear Lord, thank you for being there. Even when my hands are really cold, I know you will not turn cold on me. You understand how I must have felt inside and know that I have committed a great mistakes. But Lord, I know you gave me chance, You allow me to see and know my mistakes. You didn't give up on me. Lord, I know certain times I did things to hurt others, directly or indirectly. God, forgive me of my sins. Lord, I know certain times I can't forgive myself, but God, You want me to forgive myself, so that I can forgive others. I should forget my mistakes but remember what they have taught me. I don't know what's is going to happen, but I know running away is not what God wants me to do, right? God, I broke your heart, you forgave me and when I broke mine, you mend it for me. Lord, let me not hold on the past, for what has happen can't be reverted. Let me treat it as a learning experience, overcome it and gain strength from it. God, take away the burden and the guilt I hold inside. Leave me up from my burden and let me heal in you. I commit everything unto you Lord.
Amen
Second time I got into trouble with my blog entries.. But this time I am made stronger.
Believe me for once more that.. I really didn't mean what I did, I didn't know what I have type here or done has caused trouble for you or had disturbed you. It's really not your fault. But please understand that no one can be stable when it come to emotions. But don't worry, I'm alright now. Over the months, I have learnt a lot, don't think will take long to put down what I have picked up.
I just wish, things would be just normal again. Forgive me, will you? It's really not your fault.. It's a moment of folly. I tresured our friendship.
Talking about that, God let me come to sense in many different ways, mostly the hard way. From the past events, I can tell. When I walk on the wrong path, God will lead me back. Thank you God for leading me back.
I just wanna make things well again.. Give me a chance
Sorry
My hands are cold... Very cold. I'm in a state of shock, numb.. What can I say somemore? My heart skip a few beats, I think.. Haha..
I'm not going to run away, nono, facing it. Pastor Kong once mention that one shouldn't run away from their problems yeah. I'm not running away, I'm running towards it and towards God. Dear Lord, I know I have done something foolish that caused certain things to turn sour. Forgive me O Lord. I know I need to make mistakes in my life.Give me Your strength and wisdom to learn from it. What's done can't be reverted. I understand,Lord. I chose to walk on the wrong path in the first place. Oh well, thank you God for waking me up.
Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid! I'm not that senseless.. I'm moving on!
Just finish reading the book I bought from Rod, time to get a new want!
Oh boy, my hands are really cold.. Freezing!!
Looks like I have spolit another friendship, *poof* it went. Tata..
Good bye
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman (Sounds familar yeah?) I'm a girl with sensable thoughts, I won't do anything stupid, like ending my life or cutting myself, I won't and would never! I just need time.. Don't worry
I'm fine, really!! Believe me! I've just release my emotion, I am fine, F-I-N-E... Really..
I'm just a little dissapointed with the end result, didn't want it that way, didn't meant it also.. Sorry... Really sorry.. Don't worry.. I won't do anything "stupid" anymore.. Promised God..
Sorry if I have made myself horrible to you.. Sorry
I know I have been too emotional. I have realise it, maybe a little too late. But I always tell my friends, nothing is too late..
I've grown! I've grown up! Yes I have!! After this whole folly, I know I have grown, more mature in relationship area.. I've always been childish in that, cause I don't know about it. Anyway, it's alright Grace. You have brave through many storms, this one will be just fine. Look, you have cooled down already. There are others who still cares.. God do! A lot..
I'm not going to run away, nono, facing it. Pastor Kong once mention that one shouldn't run away from their problems yeah. I'm not running away, I'm running towards it and towards God. Dear Lord, I know I have done something foolish that caused certain things to turn sour. Forgive me O Lord. I know I need to make mistakes in my life.Give me Your strength and wisdom to learn from it. What's done can't be reverted. I understand,Lord. I chose to walk on the wrong path in the first place. Oh well, thank you God for waking me up.
Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid! I'm not that senseless.. I'm moving on!
Just finish reading the book I bought from Rod, time to get a new want!
Oh boy, my hands are really cold.. Freezing!!
Looks like I have spolit another friendship, *poof* it went. Tata..
Good bye
I'm not a girl, not yet a woman (Sounds familar yeah?) I'm a girl with sensable thoughts, I won't do anything stupid, like ending my life or cutting myself, I won't and would never! I just need time.. Don't worry
I'm fine, really!! Believe me! I've just release my emotion, I am fine, F-I-N-E... Really..
I'm just a little dissapointed with the end result, didn't want it that way, didn't meant it also.. Sorry... Really sorry.. Don't worry.. I won't do anything "stupid" anymore.. Promised God..
Sorry if I have made myself horrible to you.. Sorry
I know I have been too emotional. I have realise it, maybe a little too late. But I always tell my friends, nothing is too late..
I've grown! I've grown up! Yes I have!! After this whole folly, I know I have grown, more mature in relationship area.. I've always been childish in that, cause I don't know about it. Anyway, it's alright Grace. You have brave through many storms, this one will be just fine. Look, you have cooled down already. There are others who still cares.. God do! A lot..
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Happy Birthday to ME!!
Happy Birthday to ME! Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! *WooHoo* First year I'm celebrating my birthday without exam stress! Praise the Lord, Hallelujah! I just finish munching on an oreo cookie, *yum*yum*, it's been ages since I last had one. Ever since I had my diabetes, I have been cutting down on my sugar intake, oh boy.. Imagine this is going to last forever, and ever! But I don't mind, healthy living!
Thanks twinie, aka Carmen, for calling me at 12a.m in the morning! First one to wish me on the day of my birthday itself. Thanks, it's nice of you! Haha, went to her bloggie and saw the post she made specially for me! Thanks a lot buddy! No one can replace you Carmie, I will continue to "use" you to motivate me, you can't run away! We chated like about an hour before she force me to put the phone down. It didn't make a difference yeah, I'm still sleepy when I woke up in the morning. Thanks to Carmen yeah? Haha!!
Siyun and group celebrated my birthday yesterday evening over at Chinatown. Went to some organic food place to eat. The food isn't bad, quite nice to say. I had brown rice set, come on people.. Can you eat brown rice like I do? *Wink* After so, we cut my birthday cake! Had a jolly fun time, pushing cream into each other's face. Took some picture, I shall publish them when I go over to grandma's place, office don't have the programme for me to post pictures. Thanks Ah Bu for your present and the oh-so-meaningfull letter. Many thanks to Cleo, Leon and Pei Qi for taking time out to celebrate my birthday. Carmen, you own me one for next year! Don't you dare forget, if you do,I will deep fry you and put your face in all my coming animation, you heard that!
Dad says we are going out for dinner tonight, he wants me to be home early. Alright, I shall take the train home today instead of the bus. I wanted steamboat over at Marina South, but Dad says it's too far away! Far, you call that far? Come on, what if you live in Canada or America? Whatever it is, I'm in for a good time today. It's my birthday!!
People.. You guys know my wish.. Haha,just simply hear him wish me a "Happy Birthday", but I guess it went *Poof*! Anyway, I'm looking on the bright side, 10th May is not yet over! Who knows, he may just sms me or call me later to wish me? Oh yeah, fat hope, Grace, half of the time his mobile is off. He didn't even reply to the last, I mean really the LAST e-mail I sent. Alright, I did told him not to reply.. But I did say, "Just let me know you have recieve this e-mail." *dUd* Can't you read e-mail? Maybe, he haven read them? I don't care, whatsoever it is!
Alright, I do miss him.. and am thinking of him now. Grace, wake up!
Thanks twinie, aka Carmen, for calling me at 12a.m in the morning! First one to wish me on the day of my birthday itself. Thanks, it's nice of you! Haha, went to her bloggie and saw the post she made specially for me! Thanks a lot buddy! No one can replace you Carmie, I will continue to "use" you to motivate me, you can't run away! We chated like about an hour before she force me to put the phone down. It didn't make a difference yeah, I'm still sleepy when I woke up in the morning. Thanks to Carmen yeah? Haha!!
Siyun and group celebrated my birthday yesterday evening over at Chinatown. Went to some organic food place to eat. The food isn't bad, quite nice to say. I had brown rice set, come on people.. Can you eat brown rice like I do? *Wink* After so, we cut my birthday cake! Had a jolly fun time, pushing cream into each other's face. Took some picture, I shall publish them when I go over to grandma's place, office don't have the programme for me to post pictures. Thanks Ah Bu for your present and the oh-so-meaningfull letter. Many thanks to Cleo, Leon and Pei Qi for taking time out to celebrate my birthday. Carmen, you own me one for next year! Don't you dare forget, if you do,I will deep fry you and put your face in all my coming animation, you heard that!
Dad says we are going out for dinner tonight, he wants me to be home early. Alright, I shall take the train home today instead of the bus. I wanted steamboat over at Marina South, but Dad says it's too far away! Far, you call that far? Come on, what if you live in Canada or America? Whatever it is, I'm in for a good time today. It's my birthday!!
People.. You guys know my wish.. Haha,just simply hear him wish me a "Happy Birthday", but I guess it went *Poof*! Anyway, I'm looking on the bright side, 10th May is not yet over! Who knows, he may just sms me or call me later to wish me? Oh yeah, fat hope, Grace, half of the time his mobile is off. He didn't even reply to the last, I mean really the LAST e-mail I sent. Alright, I did told him not to reply.. But I did say, "Just let me know you have recieve this e-mail." *dUd* Can't you read e-mail? Maybe, he haven read them? I don't care, whatsoever it is!
Alright, I do miss him.. and am thinking of him now. Grace, wake up!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Happy Birthday Eve to me
Finally I can sit in front of the computer with ease! Adrian just went out for a meeting, I have been drawing the whole day and writting the letter to Ah Bu! Today was normal, thought about him yet again, but this time.. Whenever he came to mine, I will go "Oh Sh!t you, don't think of you..No more!" I might be telling this to myself, but I know I will needtime to not think about him. Like the saying goes.. "It takes a life time to forget someone" I can somehow agree to that!
Just got a sms from Kenneth, that's so out of the blue. Haven been in contact with him for so long.Don't worry Ling, it's not your dear dear Kenneth, but Kenneth Li. He would like to talk to me tonight regarding my company. I wonder what is he going to tel me this time. Oh boy, IM Learning Technology or should I say Dare2Dream Team had been on standstill for so long. What are you doing,Grace? Don't worry people, I'm getting up on my feet. Gracie never say die, she's one tough cookie yeah! *yum*yum* LoL..
Oh sh!t, he came to mind again.. Stop it! Why? Just because I type the word "LoL" It reminds me of him, cause he always use this in his e-mails and smses (Not that I recieve a lot of them, but I notice it's so!) I send him an e-mail on saturday, telling him all that I have felt since he left and since the crush started. Guess what subject did I put?"Last e-mail from me" Cool huh? I guess it will be the last. To forget someone,especially someone who I have strong feelings for, such things have to be done. Foolish, stupid? I don't know for now, maybe one day I will come to know the answer.
Birthday coming soon, *hint*hint*, what are you, yes you, reading this, what are you going to do? Haha, relax, I'm kidding. Finally I don't have to be under exam stress after so many years. Every years I spend my birthday under stress, exam stress! I don't know how I will celebrate my birthday, any idea people? I know I will be having a belated and farewell party at the end of May, for actual day, I ain't got a clue. Si Yun will be bringing me out for dinner over at Chinatown, I wonder what am I eating tonight. Oh yeah, got to get her a MaMas' day present.. Haha,since she's my "mother"
Looks like my wish of hearing him or seeing him wish me "Happy Birthday,Grace" is going off the track. *Poof* get me, *poof*!! Stop thinking about him,Grace!
Happy Birthday Eve to me!
Just got a sms from Kenneth, that's so out of the blue. Haven been in contact with him for so long.Don't worry Ling, it's not your dear dear Kenneth, but Kenneth Li. He would like to talk to me tonight regarding my company. I wonder what is he going to tel me this time. Oh boy, IM Learning Technology or should I say Dare2Dream Team had been on standstill for so long. What are you doing,Grace? Don't worry people, I'm getting up on my feet. Gracie never say die, she's one tough cookie yeah! *yum*yum* LoL..
Oh sh!t, he came to mind again.. Stop it! Why? Just because I type the word "LoL" It reminds me of him, cause he always use this in his e-mails and smses (Not that I recieve a lot of them, but I notice it's so!) I send him an e-mail on saturday, telling him all that I have felt since he left and since the crush started. Guess what subject did I put?"Last e-mail from me" Cool huh? I guess it will be the last. To forget someone,especially someone who I have strong feelings for, such things have to be done. Foolish, stupid? I don't know for now, maybe one day I will come to know the answer.
Birthday coming soon, *hint*hint*, what are you, yes you, reading this, what are you going to do? Haha, relax, I'm kidding. Finally I don't have to be under exam stress after so many years. Every years I spend my birthday under stress, exam stress! I don't know how I will celebrate my birthday, any idea people? I know I will be having a belated and farewell party at the end of May, for actual day, I ain't got a clue. Si Yun will be bringing me out for dinner over at Chinatown, I wonder what am I eating tonight. Oh yeah, got to get her a MaMas' day present.. Haha,since she's my "mother"
Looks like my wish of hearing him or seeing him wish me "Happy Birthday,Grace" is going off the track. *Poof* get me, *poof*!! Stop thinking about him,Grace!
Happy Birthday Eve to me!
Sunday, May 08, 2005
A life time to forget someone
Her hair was tied up in a ponytail,
Her favourite dress tied with a bow,
It was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she should stay at home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid,
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates,
Of why he wasnt here today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone,
And that was why, once again,
She tried to keep her daughter at home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them were looking
For a man who wasn't there.
Where's her daddy?
She heard a boy call out.
She probably doesn't have one,
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She hear a daddy say,
Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.
The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came the words incredibly unique.
My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I want you to know
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories,
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart,
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart.
With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favourite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
I love my daddy very much
Hes my shining star.
And if could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away.
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
I know youre with me Daddy,
To the silence she called out.
And what happed next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long- stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed,
If only for a moment,
By the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute
To find a special person,
An hour to appreciate them,
A day to love them,
But an entire life to forget them.
Her favourite dress tied with a bow,
It was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she should stay at home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid,
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates,
Of why he wasnt here today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone,
And that was why, once again,
She tried to keep her daughter at home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them were looking
For a man who wasn't there.
Where's her daddy?
She heard a boy call out.
She probably doesn't have one,
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She hear a daddy say,
Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.
The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came the words incredibly unique.
My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I want you to know
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories,
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me,
Even though we are apart,
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart.
With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favourite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
I love my daddy very much
Hes my shining star.
And if could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away.
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
I know youre with me Daddy,
To the silence she called out.
And what happed next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long- stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed,
If only for a moment,
By the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.
They say it takes a minute
To find a special person,
An hour to appreciate them,
A day to love them,
But an entire life to forget them.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Finally, it's broken
It's broken... broken in me..
For once I cried for him, because I'm afraid of losing him, afraid of watching him go..
It all happened..
So suddenly..
It's not his fault, I'm too young.
Once and again, my hope dashed. I watched my dream float by, like a bubble, I will never catch it. He came into mylife, for a short moment, but left a deep footprint.
It's time, it's time, it's time I wake up..
Now I understand what it meant by loving someone can be painfull.
It's so pain, I am numb already.
While I checked my mail just now, and didn't see his reply.. I told myself, "I've lost him, I've lost him."
Isn't it funny? I typed so much about him, teared so much about him.. It just gone to waste. I did it on my own account. Foolish? I think I am.
Friends, I just suck at such things.
My heart broke, again and again. It's so painful, that my tears have run dry.. I want to cry, for just one last time for you, but I just can't. Whenever I though of giving up, I would always give myself reasons to hold on and wait..
I shouldn't wait anymore. I should just move on, like what you told me before.
I'm so numb...
I think I will need a long time to heal..
Maybe I will type just one last e-mail to him..and that's it? I don't know...
For once I cried for him, because I'm afraid of losing him, afraid of watching him go..
It all happened..
So suddenly..
It's not his fault, I'm too young.
Once and again, my hope dashed. I watched my dream float by, like a bubble, I will never catch it. He came into mylife, for a short moment, but left a deep footprint.
It's time, it's time, it's time I wake up..
Now I understand what it meant by loving someone can be painfull.
It's so pain, I am numb already.
While I checked my mail just now, and didn't see his reply.. I told myself, "I've lost him, I've lost him."
Isn't it funny? I typed so much about him, teared so much about him.. It just gone to waste. I did it on my own account. Foolish? I think I am.
Friends, I just suck at such things.
My heart broke, again and again. It's so painful, that my tears have run dry.. I want to cry, for just one last time for you, but I just can't. Whenever I though of giving up, I would always give myself reasons to hold on and wait..
I shouldn't wait anymore. I should just move on, like what you told me before.
I'm so numb...
I think I will need a long time to heal..
Maybe I will type just one last e-mail to him..and that's it? I don't know...
Time just isn't right yet
Haven been blogging for a few days, been kind of busy at work. Went to collect my new glasses this afternoon, I looked more classy now-- The uncle told me.. :) Still getting use to them. Will be going out to celebrate Mothers' day and my birthday this evening. The strange thing is, I'm not celebrating it with my Mom, but with Grandma! Uncle Mike is taking her out for mothers' day dinner, might as well celebrate my birthday since it's quite near by.
Work in the office has been going on fine, just that I got a bit pissed off by Adrian. Don't wanna talk about it and don't wanna remember it as well. It's all over!
Hello people, *hint*hint*.. My birthday is COMING soon! Haha.. First year I don't have to be under any exam stress eh? LoL
I thought of him again last night and teared. Just a little, because I missed him and the days we shared.. He haven replied my e-mail, what happen? He finds me irritating already? But... Hey.. Oh well, forget it. It's just draining me..
I am coping well with my illness, for those who cared and am worried about me, don't worry yeah, I'm doing fine.
You know people, sometimes I just wished that I can have someone by my side to share all my worries and fears. I know God is there, but.. just this special someone, a human.. To be by my side. Most of the time when I am afriad, I will just keep it inside me. When I am worried, I will just shut it up in me. I wished I could have someone there, who I can open up to. All my secreats and every little thing, it's shared between me and God. I would like to tell you more about me, but I just can't open up my mouth. I would like to let you know how much I cared, how much I missed you, but I didn't and I don't have the courage.
That's one serious problem with me. I don't feel feelings, I don't express them out. When I talk, I really talk, when I don't, you won't even know I'm there.
Looking at all my friends, most of them have their loved ones with them.. Am in a relationship, have found someone in their life, at least for now. I looked at myself.. I have friends, but hey..They have their own life too right? When I was sitting alone in the hospital, how I wish he was sitting beside me, holding my hand, telling me not to worry..
I could only looked at his pictures in my cellphone, the ones I took without him knowing..
What are you doing now my dearest. I did manage to talk to your sister for a moment, wanted to asked about you.. But I didn't, yet again.
Grace, wake up..Heal!! You can too be like the rest.. you are not cut out from relationships.. Just that the time isn't right yet.. right?
Work in the office has been going on fine, just that I got a bit pissed off by Adrian. Don't wanna talk about it and don't wanna remember it as well. It's all over!
Hello people, *hint*hint*.. My birthday is COMING soon! Haha.. First year I don't have to be under any exam stress eh? LoL
I thought of him again last night and teared. Just a little, because I missed him and the days we shared.. He haven replied my e-mail, what happen? He finds me irritating already? But... Hey.. Oh well, forget it. It's just draining me..
I am coping well with my illness, for those who cared and am worried about me, don't worry yeah, I'm doing fine.
You know people, sometimes I just wished that I can have someone by my side to share all my worries and fears. I know God is there, but.. just this special someone, a human.. To be by my side. Most of the time when I am afriad, I will just keep it inside me. When I am worried, I will just shut it up in me. I wished I could have someone there, who I can open up to. All my secreats and every little thing, it's shared between me and God. I would like to tell you more about me, but I just can't open up my mouth. I would like to let you know how much I cared, how much I missed you, but I didn't and I don't have the courage.
That's one serious problem with me. I don't feel feelings, I don't express them out. When I talk, I really talk, when I don't, you won't even know I'm there.
Looking at all my friends, most of them have their loved ones with them.. Am in a relationship, have found someone in their life, at least for now. I looked at myself.. I have friends, but hey..They have their own life too right? When I was sitting alone in the hospital, how I wish he was sitting beside me, holding my hand, telling me not to worry..
I could only looked at his pictures in my cellphone, the ones I took without him knowing..
What are you doing now my dearest. I did manage to talk to your sister for a moment, wanted to asked about you.. But I didn't, yet again.
Grace, wake up..Heal!! You can too be like the rest.. you are not cut out from relationships.. Just that the time isn't right yet.. right?
Charlene didn't know she's in the picture!! *ShHhhh*
Thinking of him? I guess I was just tired after a day's work..
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Damn you, Kuku Head!!
Damn it! That stupid, so-called boss of mine is just simply getting my blood boiled!! Just came back from office not to long ago, when he came back from outside. Then he was there making a hell lot of noises. He was asking about my drawings and how much have I done. I told him I have finished English, and am finishing Economics and Retail. He asked me if I have finished everything, so I asked him what is your everything, he dares reply me, " I don't know also" What the... If you don't know what is your everything, how would I know?
Peas and bananas! Am I not doing my work? You're paying me, where's my pay? Haven even got my April's pay! Damn it, *GrRrRr*
I need to work even when poly starts, who says I will leave just like that when I go back to school? I can always come back to help, or work from home!! Damn it, kuku head!
I'm mean now, real mean.. Kuku head..
He's a nice man to have as a friend, but terriblt to have him as a boss. So disorganize and irritating at times! Good for Erwin that he left!
Oh boy, irritating!
Dear Lord, let me control my anger. I know certain times I am in the wrong too.. Lord, give me your understanding and love for others. Accept him for who he is, for he came into my life for a purpose..
Peas and bananas! Am I not doing my work? You're paying me, where's my pay? Haven even got my April's pay! Damn it, *GrRrRr*
I need to work even when poly starts, who says I will leave just like that when I go back to school? I can always come back to help, or work from home!! Damn it, kuku head!
I'm mean now, real mean.. Kuku head..
He's a nice man to have as a friend, but terriblt to have him as a boss. So disorganize and irritating at times! Good for Erwin that he left!
Oh boy, irritating!
Dear Lord, let me control my anger. I know certain times I am in the wrong too.. Lord, give me your understanding and love for others. Accept him for who he is, for he came into my life for a purpose..
我吃得起苦
走出去就有路
寻见了就有福
拥有的一切
都进了包袱
思念是带不走的
天空疑云密布
心中翻腾起伏
虽将飘摇
前途仍模糊
此地会是我
衣锦还乡处
飘扬过海
我吃得起苦
相信天无绝人之路
现实有咒诅
梦里有祝福
有缘同舟
风雨共同渡
顶着烈日当头
眼底有迷雾
不能再让懦弱
困住日子多坎坷
命运有变数
只盼久旱逢甘露
寻见了就有福
拥有的一切
都进了包袱
思念是带不走的
天空疑云密布
心中翻腾起伏
虽将飘摇
前途仍模糊
此地会是我
衣锦还乡处
飘扬过海
我吃得起苦
相信天无绝人之路
现实有咒诅
梦里有祝福
有缘同舟
风雨共同渡
顶着烈日当头
眼底有迷雾
不能再让懦弱
困住日子多坎坷
命运有变数
只盼久旱逢甘露
Why not me, why not you?
Morning was bad, Dad was there stressing me of my illness. Oh boy, come one! I'm accepting it, I'm injecting myself, I'm alright! Do I have to cry in front of all of you? Give me some peace will you!
Especially my family members, my parents! You have done enough harm for my childhood, I don't asked for comfort of life from you all, all I ask now is your understanding! Get this into you thick skull, I need your understanding, that's all! Don't stop me from achieving my dream, don't discourage me from being who I am-- I will hate you if you do this things to me.
I once had a dream, a really bad dream about how I will treat my parents when I step out to work, when I have achieved my dreams. I don't want it to happen, neither do I think my parents will. I once said so, I once promise so, I will provide my parents with the best that I could. yes, the best! So, you folks won't have to work in old age and enjoy life.
Don't stop me from achieving great dreams, just because you can't and couldn't. You are being selfish, get me? I don' want to lead a life like what you are leading now! Work the whole of your life and am still at the same spot.. If someone is going to achieve the big dreams, going to fill the next millionaire's seat, going to be a world shaker and made history.. Why not me? Why not you? Grab the chance!
I still remembered what my mentor told me in her first few e-mails. "You can one day be who you are and what you are, just by believing in yourself."-- I'm set for that. I'm one special person.. I'm not going to lead my life aimlessly.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
New Laptop?
YiPeEe!! I'll be getting a Laptop soon! *wOOOw* Dad and Mum actually wanted to get a desktop for me, but I felt it's better with a Laptop, I can bring it anywhere I need it. Since I am taking up internet and multimedia, I think a Laptop would fix right into the picture and course. Going home for dinner, then later will go out with Dad and Mum to shop for Laptop. I don't know what I wanna get, something that is not too heavy and big? Most importantly can function like a Desktop! Oh boy, I'm excited!
Mum told me they will be getting a Desktop for me a few months ago, I though it was just another empty promise, but hey, they are serious about it this time! I have no idea for Laptops, my knowledge for them is very basic. Someone help me? Haha~
Heard from Charlene that after buying the Laptop, we still have to get a lot of things done.. Such as the internet connection and stuff. I really have no idea about that, I guess I will have to seek help from Uncle Ben and friends.
This morning, I took my blood sugar level.. It drop to normal range, it was 6.2 mmol. Before I went for lunch, it rose up to 11.2 mmol.. Guess it's the bread I ate yeah.. Should cut down on the amount I eat..
Injections for me is going on fine, I'm brave yeah? Haha..
I'm excited, excited..EXCITED! Haha..
Mum told me they will be getting a Desktop for me a few months ago, I though it was just another empty promise, but hey, they are serious about it this time! I have no idea for Laptops, my knowledge for them is very basic. Someone help me? Haha~
Heard from Charlene that after buying the Laptop, we still have to get a lot of things done.. Such as the internet connection and stuff. I really have no idea about that, I guess I will have to seek help from Uncle Ben and friends.
This morning, I took my blood sugar level.. It drop to normal range, it was 6.2 mmol. Before I went for lunch, it rose up to 11.2 mmol.. Guess it's the bread I ate yeah.. Should cut down on the amount I eat..
Injections for me is going on fine, I'm brave yeah? Haha..
I'm excited, excited..EXCITED! Haha..
Monday, May 02, 2005
I thought of him, again
Alright, it's way pass midnight, I should be in bed. Didn't really sleep a lot last night. Read Charis' blog just now, he's one brave guy that dares to show his emotions and what he's feeling. Made me think of him while I'm reading his blog... I wish he could be like him, tell me what you feel. Don't like me, see me as a little sister, need more time? Let me know will ya? You are torturing me, do you know and understand that? You don't.
Everytime I check my gmail account, I would hope to see your e-mail.. *Hint*Hint* my birthday is coming soon! What are you going to do? Like what I mentioned in the previous post, all I asked from you.. Is your wishes.. "Happy Birthday, Grace"---> Am I asking for too much. I dream of you sending me flowers.. calling me.. But all that's just bubbles.. Do you even know when's my birthday? Do my friends know? It has been quite some time since I last celebrated birthday.. Cause it always falls on exam period!
Did you recieve my sms? Have you read the e-mail I send on friday? Have I cross your mind? Am I irritating you? Boy oh boy, you are sensative as a man, but insensative towards how I feel towards you.. Am I not doing enough? Do you want me to tell you straight in the face, or come knocking at your door and tell you...
Everytime I check my gmail account, I would hope to see your e-mail.. *Hint*Hint* my birthday is coming soon! What are you going to do? Like what I mentioned in the previous post, all I asked from you.. Is your wishes.. "Happy Birthday, Grace"---> Am I asking for too much. I dream of you sending me flowers.. calling me.. But all that's just bubbles.. Do you even know when's my birthday? Do my friends know? It has been quite some time since I last celebrated birthday.. Cause it always falls on exam period!
Did you recieve my sms? Have you read the e-mail I send on friday? Have I cross your mind? Am I irritating you? Boy oh boy, you are sensative as a man, but insensative towards how I feel towards you.. Am I not doing enough? Do you want me to tell you straight in the face, or come knocking at your door and tell you...
I MISS YOU!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Distract me, baby!
Came back from Si Yun's place not too long ago. They had a presentation the coming project that Keep Hope Alive will embark on. I reached her place like around 4.30p.m, and boy I was lucky I came late. I think I will be bored to death if I were to stay there from the start, I wasn't in a mood for "lecture" today.. This whole presentation ended like around 7p.m and Si Yun cooked dinner for me and Pei Qi.
While I was preparing for my injection, Winnie, Mei ling and Mei yi came back (They were suppose to be gone). They wanted dinner as well, but Si Yun could only offer them noodles. I did help out a bit in cooking the noodles for them. They left after eating, and I helped Si Yun with cutting and washing of vegetables. Because of this woman, I can cook now! Helped her many times in the kitchan before, now I know how to cook! Thanks Ah Bu for your brown rice, vegetables and tou fu!
Dinner wasn't bad.. Had a little chat session after that. I told Si Yun that maybe it's time I should let go of my feelings for him. She agreed. We don't have the communication between us, as much as I want to, we can't. I still remember the test Si Yun did on me, between me and him. It was said that for the next two months, we ( me and him) will get to know each other more. I may be typing here that I wanna let go my feelings for him, but deep down inside me, I know I will still hold on, a bit.
I'm not those who will give up easily, not to even say relationships, unless I am really not interested. Look at maths, I have never like them or pass them.. but I didn't give up on them.. I passed my O level maths! Hallelujah!
Maybe I should imply this example on me and him yeah? I don't know.. May God's will be done and not mine.
Monday is church's family day. Oh boy, gotta wake up early again. I don't think I will be able to sleep late anymore, even if it's holiday. I got to get up in the morning, inject my insulin, take breakfast. Healthy lifestyle huh? Haha~
I need someone to distract me, so maybe my feelings for him will slowly fade off.. Come on baby! Distract me!! Haha~
While I was preparing for my injection, Winnie, Mei ling and Mei yi came back (They were suppose to be gone). They wanted dinner as well, but Si Yun could only offer them noodles. I did help out a bit in cooking the noodles for them. They left after eating, and I helped Si Yun with cutting and washing of vegetables. Because of this woman, I can cook now! Helped her many times in the kitchan before, now I know how to cook! Thanks Ah Bu for your brown rice, vegetables and tou fu!
Dinner wasn't bad.. Had a little chat session after that. I told Si Yun that maybe it's time I should let go of my feelings for him. She agreed. We don't have the communication between us, as much as I want to, we can't. I still remember the test Si Yun did on me, between me and him. It was said that for the next two months, we ( me and him) will get to know each other more. I may be typing here that I wanna let go my feelings for him, but deep down inside me, I know I will still hold on, a bit.
I'm not those who will give up easily, not to even say relationships, unless I am really not interested. Look at maths, I have never like them or pass them.. but I didn't give up on them.. I passed my O level maths! Hallelujah!
Maybe I should imply this example on me and him yeah? I don't know.. May God's will be done and not mine.
Monday is church's family day. Oh boy, gotta wake up early again. I don't think I will be able to sleep late anymore, even if it's holiday. I got to get up in the morning, inject my insulin, take breakfast. Healthy lifestyle huh? Haha~
I need someone to distract me, so maybe my feelings for him will slowly fade off.. Come on baby! Distract me!! Haha~
