Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I'm really sorry
Haven been doing much since morning, except that I read finish the book I bought from Rod, The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell. A good book to read, but I took too long. Didn't had much self discipline, that's why such a long time. Time I source for another new book!
Have been feeling terrible, but am much better now. My hands are not that cold, my heart beat is back to normal (Not that I have heart attack!) I'm not going to inject my insulin, I'm not going to eat. Tonight, I will cut myself to show that I mean it. I will turn rebellious and I am not going to go school anymore--->Think I will do that? Come on, I have braved through many storms.. This storm will just be fine. *Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. Everyone makes mistakes..*
To him: I'm really sorry for causing all those unhappiness. I didn't want things to turn out that way, I didn't mean to. I guess I really need more time to reflect in this area yeah? Maybe it's good that you avoid me, I will feel better. But one thing for sure, I didn't make use of anyone. Everything I do or did, has not evil intention. Sorry, I know the scar will be there, but.. I'm really sorry. I don't wish to see this friendship go to waste, but I know and understand all things happen for a reason. It's your wish.. But I really do hope you will be fine. Forgive Grace, cause sometimes she's like Uncle, she do stupid things. Don't be scared, I won't eat you up. I promise I will be fine. You're more like a big brother to me, I have straighten my thoughts. God has shaken me up. I have made a mistake, but it's through mistakes I learn yeah? Sorry to have cause unhappiness.. Really.
Dear Lord, thank you for being there. Even when my hands are really cold, I know you will not turn cold on me. You understand how I must have felt inside and know that I have committed a great mistakes. But Lord, I know you gave me chance, You allow me to see and know my mistakes. You didn't give up on me. Lord, I know certain times I did things to hurt others, directly or indirectly. God, forgive me of my sins. Lord, I know certain times I can't forgive myself, but God, You want me to forgive myself, so that I can forgive others. I should forget my mistakes but remember what they have taught me. I don't know what's is going to happen, but I know running away is not what God wants me to do, right? God, I broke your heart, you forgave me and when I broke mine, you mend it for me. Lord, let me not hold on the past, for what has happen can't be reverted. Let me treat it as a learning experience, overcome it and gain strength from it. God, take away the burden and the guilt I hold inside. Leave me up from my burden and let me heal in you. I commit everything unto you Lord.
Amen
Second time I got into trouble with my blog entries.. But this time I am made stronger.
Believe me for once more that.. I really didn't mean what I did, I didn't know what I have type here or done has caused trouble for you or had disturbed you. It's really not your fault. But please understand that no one can be stable when it come to emotions. But don't worry, I'm alright now. Over the months, I have learnt a lot, don't think will take long to put down what I have picked up.
I just wish, things would be just normal again. Forgive me, will you? It's really not your fault.. It's a moment of folly. I tresured our friendship.
Talking about that, God let me come to sense in many different ways, mostly the hard way. From the past events, I can tell. When I walk on the wrong path, God will lead me back. Thank you God for leading me back.
I just wanna make things well again.. Give me a chance
Have been feeling terrible, but am much better now. My hands are not that cold, my heart beat is back to normal (Not that I have heart attack!) I'm not going to inject my insulin, I'm not going to eat. Tonight, I will cut myself to show that I mean it. I will turn rebellious and I am not going to go school anymore--->Think I will do that? Come on, I have braved through many storms.. This storm will just be fine. *Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid. Everyone makes mistakes..*
To him: I'm really sorry for causing all those unhappiness. I didn't want things to turn out that way, I didn't mean to. I guess I really need more time to reflect in this area yeah? Maybe it's good that you avoid me, I will feel better. But one thing for sure, I didn't make use of anyone. Everything I do or did, has not evil intention. Sorry, I know the scar will be there, but.. I'm really sorry. I don't wish to see this friendship go to waste, but I know and understand all things happen for a reason. It's your wish.. But I really do hope you will be fine. Forgive Grace, cause sometimes she's like Uncle, she do stupid things. Don't be scared, I won't eat you up. I promise I will be fine. You're more like a big brother to me, I have straighten my thoughts. God has shaken me up. I have made a mistake, but it's through mistakes I learn yeah? Sorry to have cause unhappiness.. Really.
Dear Lord, thank you for being there. Even when my hands are really cold, I know you will not turn cold on me. You understand how I must have felt inside and know that I have committed a great mistakes. But Lord, I know you gave me chance, You allow me to see and know my mistakes. You didn't give up on me. Lord, I know certain times I did things to hurt others, directly or indirectly. God, forgive me of my sins. Lord, I know certain times I can't forgive myself, but God, You want me to forgive myself, so that I can forgive others. I should forget my mistakes but remember what they have taught me. I don't know what's is going to happen, but I know running away is not what God wants me to do, right? God, I broke your heart, you forgave me and when I broke mine, you mend it for me. Lord, let me not hold on the past, for what has happen can't be reverted. Let me treat it as a learning experience, overcome it and gain strength from it. God, take away the burden and the guilt I hold inside. Leave me up from my burden and let me heal in you. I commit everything unto you Lord.
Amen
Second time I got into trouble with my blog entries.. But this time I am made stronger.
Believe me for once more that.. I really didn't mean what I did, I didn't know what I have type here or done has caused trouble for you or had disturbed you. It's really not your fault. But please understand that no one can be stable when it come to emotions. But don't worry, I'm alright now. Over the months, I have learnt a lot, don't think will take long to put down what I have picked up.
I just wish, things would be just normal again. Forgive me, will you? It's really not your fault.. It's a moment of folly. I tresured our friendship.
Talking about that, God let me come to sense in many different ways, mostly the hard way. From the past events, I can tell. When I walk on the wrong path, God will lead me back. Thank you God for leading me back.
I just wanna make things well again.. Give me a chance
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 5/11/2005 02:58:00 PM
