The Grace in Grace

Send off the GC people and violet as well. The big group of people are going to Shanghai and Violet to Aussie. Business school always have opportunities like these for their student; unlike IT and Engine school.

Reached the airport like around 7.45p.m, met up with Farabi and then Violet and Jesher came also. Had a jolly good time just catching up! Took a stroll around before having dinner at Buger King. *Hmmmm* Mushroom swiss is still my favorite.. Chated somemore then Violet has to go. Her flight was earlier.

Practiced for Easter today; quite good progress, of course with the help of Doctor Chendra. She told me that she's planning to open up a music school. Well, if she really do; offer singing lesson for free to me? LOL! There's bass, two guitars, violin, drums, piano and keyboard for Easter's praise and worship; cool...

Alright, reminder: the next practice is on Friday 31st March 7.30p.m in Church.

Should I work this week??

I smells everytime after prata; and I DON'T like it! A lot of chats going round the table; something that I really enjoy. Commom topic, life, school.. well; old friends.

Today's meeting was long; two and a half hour long. Mostly talking about the camp. Boy, I saw his eyes was red. Poor boy; all the unhappiness finally out. Indeed it feels awful to be shooted time and time again... But anyway; it's all over.

Quite a lot of things to do with Easter coming up, school stuff and so on; but mostly is Church stuff. In the meeting today; somehow it strike me.. It's always the bad side that is noticeable but the good side takes a long time to surface. I don't know, but somehow I can't bring myself to agree fully to what some of the teachers said today.

Political, when you did something wrong; sooner or later the whole church will know about it.

So many things to say but don't know how to put them in words.

Sending the GC people off tomorrow; I think I might be going. See how. Practice tomorrow at 2p.m till 4p.m in church. Sending them off? Hmmm.. Haiz, if I have the time.

Haha, I'm inside "The Coolest BBS Member" contest! Well, not a contest, just a poll topic. But I was shock when I saw my name; poor Arfa was sulking when he's name wasn't there. LOL, don't worry it's just another topic for fun! If you really wanna know why, approach Chang Chi!

Finished off my last sup paper today; don't wanna talk about it. *Sheesh*

Finally manage to type out the meeting minutes ans just got to know got to prepare quite a lot for fellowhship this Saturday; talking about Christian Character. Well, I did my research just now; what's left is to sort them out and put it in my own words.

Remember that I bought a pain killer cream for my Mom? Well, when I went home and gave it to her, she just throw it aside and say that's not what she need. I just walked off feeling hurt. It's like she never really care about the things I gave her, even when it comes to food!So much for me trying to care and love her once again. But still, seeing her.. made my heart aches. I don't know but I can't help feeling sorry for my parents! But it's like "WHAT?" Feeling sorry for them, but they are my parents! I don't know why, but this feeling have been in me for many years.

Somehow I feel that I'll be going away from them, not be by their side. And before I leave, I just want to give them the best that I can give; Jesus' love. Trying so hard to bring them to church and praying for them. Lord, just before You call me out; I just want my parents to be home with You. At lease they won't be lonely without me around.

I remembered once Mom told me Dad came home drunk and hug my pillows to sleep; crying. He was crying, "My girl is gonna come home soon..." So, it shows how much he misses me while I was away for a long time? I stayed at Grandma's place during my O level years and come home only once a week for pocket money then. But somehow, it's like... No matter how much love they show me or care for me now.. it's like I couldn't accept it. Inside me is telling them, "Don't treat me so well, I would only feel awful and more sorry for you all."

I don't know why. I had a dream last night, I dreamt that I found my real mother! Oh, you don't want to know who that "Mother" was! It was funny when woke up and remembered her face; anyway couldn't be her!

Well, if it's true.. I would like to know who she is one day too.. Maybe there's a father for me to find out also, who knows?

But I know I got a Father that's so real and always there: God!

Oh my goodness! The grass on the other side really looks greener! Guess how much Australia pay their part-timers? AUD$10!! That is like 2 times my current pay? And school hours for foundation year is 4 hours a day compared to 6-8 hours a day in Singapore? Oh my goodness! Of course there's pros and cons. But I really look forward to a change of environment!

OOPG on Monday and CMath today; the papers was alright. Hope I can make it! Went to Bedok to shop for my earphones and bought a pain killer cream for Mom. Didn't know why I bought it also; but seeing her suffer in pain because of her hands and legs.. it hurts me also. I don't know; it's just do funny. I used to dislike her so much, so much so I wish that she wasn't my real mother..( which I think it might be true) But I promised God, I will treat my parents well and give them the best I can offer.

Looking ay my dreams and what I want to do for God; I wonder how can I keep my promise of giving them my best? Before I wanted to be an entrepreneur, make big money and motivate lives. But God showed me a greater vision.. Well, all unto You!

Sunday's worship was great; I saw the effort. Though the sound system was a little screwed up; but it was still good. Some may comment that the concentration is mostly on the instruments; but I think music plays a part in bringing out the worship. The Bible did mention about instruments also! Heart of worship takes time and also anoiting from God; don't rush through it. The focus and purpose should be on God and the people should be brough to the Lord; not the worship leaders or the musicians. Concentrate on the worship itself; not whether the worship leader is doing things right. It's hard but.. Hee..

Gonna spray my hair black for PaceSetters workshop tomorrow then meeting in church at 6p.m

I'm missing some people now.. Hmmm..

How are you:
Chang Chi -- how's school and work for you?
En Hua --birthday coming soon!!
Cindy --Haiyo, where are you?
SOP -- Add oil for your Praise and Worship album 11!
and SOMEONE (Who? LOL)

Birthday celebration, eating, drinking and ice creams. Sat there for 3 hours, ate a lot of noodles. On the way home I was thinking if I should go running today :P

Left after the birthday cake for church meeting. Suppose to reach by 5p.m but ended up reaching there like 5.45p.m. Sometimes I really wonder why words spread fast.

Came late for Praise and Worship and I think the whole church knows about it; what can be worse? I think the Church Board knows about it also? Heck; it's over. Made Dr Andgelita angry and got to apologise to her tomorrow.

Yeah, got to agree that I was in the wrong also. I somehow didn't really take much attention to inform the adults that needed to be informed of the Easter day program. I was going on way too easy.. Well, it was a lesson well learned.

Trying to spend more time with my family and cutting down on my temper. Also, to change myself. I couldn't really take it when people start to comment me (bad side), then today I was reminded once again that if I don't receive those comments, how would I know where I have gone wrong? Haa, God is great. So many things to do and I know I will have the time.

Sorry to JY also; for the bad attitude I showed during the meeting.

Grace, you got to be right on track again!

Lost contact with the outside world for 3 days; no handphone just connected to God and church people. A great experience with a lot of mosqitoes bites. Praise God; I'm pretty sure it's not dengue!

Topics were quite interesting and awakening; although not as impactful as it can be. What I like and enjoyed most was the last night of sermon and sharing; although irritated. You see, last night talked about battle with satan and it's evil team of fallen angels. So, people got interested about ghost stories and "interesting" seeing that each had seen or experience. At first it was pretty alright; but it kept going on and on.. going no where. It's like it's not gonna stop! Busy sharing their experience with fallen angels, ghosts or some unexplainable events. I told Fa Wang Lao Shi, why can't they be as excited when it comes to God's word? Funny isn't it? It's also funny when $100 seem so big when we bring it to church but so small when we bring it to the mall. If satan can fire up your interest; why can't God?

I always look forwards to church camp; although it's the same old people and same old problem will come up.. But as the years go by; it's the lesson I want to learn from the camp. It's a great camp in such a short time; great effort for God.

Great night on the last day; almost everyone opened up. I sure do hope people keep their promises made to God.

To JY: I actually wanted to say this that night. I see great potential in you to be a great leader. When I see how you asked and answered questions about God; you displayed your potential. Just that there is something that is not release inside you, deep inside. I might have told you this many time. Although it's hard to wanna open yourself when you really want to; but it's not God that is stopping you but something else. It's hard to read the Bible, to me it's also. Everytime when you don't wanna read or has no reason to read the Bible; can try telling yourself that God is gonna talk to me through His words and I'm gonna learn. Somehow this kept me going on reading. Cause you never know when you will learn something new; something that you have never discovered before in the Bible.

Fa Wang Lao Shi has also improved a lot in his speaking; lesser laughting to himself. I learn from this camp. Especially when QZ Lao Shi shared the testimony of Hong Qi Yun (Former president of Stream of Praise). I was like asking myself, " Am I walking into that?" Then I realise.. I'm beginning to. I asked for forgiveness and it's another breakthrough. Then the talk of spiritual warfare was like.. Haha.. Wow, now I know why "things" happen. Should I then quit my job at the cafe since there's so many "such things"? I know God is protecting me, the satan can't touch me!

Didn't have time to study during camp. I was hoping sup papers would be like Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so I can have more time. But came back and check; OOPG this Momnday, CMath Tuesday and FNDB on Thursday. Oh well, God will guide me.

Lunch appointment tomorrow then Easter day meeting at 5p.m. Church on Sunday, tuition and head home. I think maybe I'll give tuition a miss since I need to study. That boy is having his holiday; while I'm gonna have my exams.

Almost a whole week spend with church people.

Left with half and hour; then I realise my music scores for Praise and Worship was left at home. Panicked, rushed home and on the way so many things happened.

First, got out of the church. Zeke called to say Doctor Andjelita is looking for me (I know). She got on the phone and because of poor reception in the basement; she couldn't hear what I was saying. Think she got irritated and put down the phone. Got into the taxi and Wan Yi called to say Doctor Andjelita is angry. I don't have time to explain to her and since she's leaving right after tea time; I cuold only e-mail her again. Wanted to ask the taxi driver to wait for me below my falt; but he didn't want to!

Alright, then got to my flat. Pressed the bell no one answer; panicked. After about 5 minutes then Uncle came to open. Praise God that I didn't make the decision to look for him downstairs. Took the scores, got a taxi. Just when I thought everything is over; the taxi driver took the wrong way! I was like, "What's coming up next? Tell me!" Irritated.

Who to blame? Well, that's only me. Didn't prepare well enough the night before and the music scores didn't even crossed my mind! 15 minutes late; mood gone. Spend so much time to prepare then the end result is such. Felt so bad, wanted to cry.

After church; everyone's gone. Dragged myself to give tuition and on the way.. The feeling got so terrible! Fa Wang Lao Shi said I did a good job, just that the timing... oh-well.. If i was on time; I think it will be better. But, it's over. What's a sunday.

Leading again on Tuesday and haven prepare yet! Need to do powerpoint and so on. Need to go home today cause I haven been home in like what.. one week? Choose songs tonight, type powerpoint tomorrow. Not to forget Easter and coming sup paper! Study, study.. Lord, I need You.

During class today, talked about boasting about tomorrow in the book of James. Then talked a little about Hebrews also. There's this passage that hit me quite hard. Hebrews 10:26-27 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. The idea of going to hell scared me. Of course, I myself know what's going on in me.. for the past few weeks.. Arg.. And Uncle Tony did asked us to ask ourself have we really been saved..

If we have, we would be a changed person.. I got to think about that..

Lord, in times like this.. let me hold on firmer to you!!

Glad that the Sydney event turn out great; God's grace. Guess it's gonna be a busy year for them! New office, more places to tour and up coming CD. Add oil!

Was quite surprise when Mandy said that Sandy wasn't willing to take picture when asked to. I was like.."Another EC-feeling?" But then, Mandy's explaination might be right. Our focus shouldn't be on them, but on God. They are doing all that for God, not for their personal glory. Well, as you can see some will treat them like idols; so it's better not to risk right? What if you take picture with one and a whole group come after you later? Become a super star instead of a servant for God!

But, deep in me.. I would really like to meet them and learn. How they maintain discipline and a lot more. 13 years; not that easy as it seen. Take picture; that would really be good; but meeting them face to face will be good enough. What matters most is not the pictures; but the process of learning from each other!

Haven got a reply from the Copyright department, should I move on? I don't know, got to see what the others think and want. Anyway, got the new design out already; just need some comformation.

Wherever your next stop is; add oil and shine for God!

Camp starts on 14-17th March and sup paper is just next week. Three sup papers to take. Three. OOPG, FNDB and CMath. Was quite surprise I can pass Computer system; although it's just a D. However, this is my last chance. Way to go, Grace!

Leading on Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday. Triple combo! Got to plan for Easter also.. I think I this whole month no need to work. Off for the whole of this week, next week and maybe the week after next also.. Haa.. Happy working with your neice, manager.

Shirly: Have a good rest this holiday. A break from all your stress.
Chang Chi: Study hard hard alright! Let your result shine for God.
Rest: Work hard for your sup papers/ enjoy you FULL holiday.
Farabi: Take really good care. Don't think too much. It's over. Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened.

Ran for 3.5KM today; and on the way I thought of some ideas for Easter! Instead of just plain slide show; we can put up a really short skit which consist of only a few people. In that way; the youths will have something to do! Also when the slide show is going on, some "talking" can be done too. So JY, when you read this.. SMS me! I really want to do something for Easter and not just a normal service.

Was quite dissapointed with what I read about last Sunday's worship. Don't know how true it is; not that I don't believe but I want to find out the truth myself. Why can't worship leaders spend a little more time planning their worships? Just a day or two will do! If God can give you time to change, time to love you and time to heal you; why can't we give this little bit of time to Him? Choosing songs last minute not taking it seriously; this is not what God wants.

Before I flew; I even SMSed her to make full use of the time given for practice. I really don't know if I should be strict with them instead of the soft approach. I am amazed with the discipline Stream of Praise instill to their choir members during their tours. Choir members; not their own members. Late for even a minute and you can't join in as their backup singers. Practice starts at 7 but you will have to report at 6! And the members obey them willingly. Boy; I sure do hope this kind of discipline can be instill to our own members.

Syream of Praise coming soon! 4 more months!!

C116G and 5X2:

Was looking through the blogs of some and finally realised what great friends I have in school. True enough I get tons of help when projects are dueing. Encouragements when I failed and motivation that kept me going on. Thanks a zillion.

Never experience such friendships in schools; always a loner to some. I couldn't click with the rest and whatever I said they don't understand; or can I say just entertained and laugh it off? For those who do; they find me a few levels above them; as though I'm saint to them, that made me an outcast.

As I looked back; I may not like this IND course very much; but it's the friendships that kept me staying. Never had I seen people helping out when projects are dueing, puting down their own work to help you out, bearing with all your nonsence and telling you "You can!" when you think you can't! A crazy bunch of people cracking jokes.

We may be different people, but it's someone amazing we are brough together. Though I may not be as closed as some; but I really appreciate that I was accepted and remembered-- it seriously meant a lot to me *Sobs*

When I look at other classes; I can only give thanks that I'm in C116G. Although we are the last class but we are the champions! Find trouble with one of us means you're stepping on C116G's toe!

Thank you C116G

We will go our seperate ways one day; but don't cry because it ended but smile because it happened! C116G, a part of me in the memory.

Forevermore

Wanna live my life with You
Wanna give all that I do
Wanna have each day
So close to You
And love You more and more
Wanna spend more time with You
Wanna hide confide in You
Wanna laugh and sing and cry with You
And love You more and more

I will run until I find You
Where Your arms are open wide
It's only when I'm near You
I'm safe and whole inside
You're the only One I treasure
You're the one that I adore to be with You forever
And love You more and more

This may sound like a love song; but it's not!

Thailand; check! What's next? USA, Germany, Myanmar? Nah; around the world!

It was a fun trip; the tour guide was a nice family guy!

First; check-in in Singapore. Grandma, Aunt Helen, Dad and Uncle Mike was there. Uncle Mike helped me and Uncle job cleared everything and walked us to the gates. Got a window seat because of Uncle Mike; thanks dude! Tsk, tak, tsk. Know what? At first we checked in and asked for window seat but was not given any. It was said to be fully booked. But when Uncle Mike came into the picture and talked to the supervisor; heh, I got a wondow seat! Later got to know that the staff reserved window seats for Ang Mos and regulars. True enough when I boarded; most of the people sitting by the windows were Ang Mos! Watched Yours, Mine and Ours on the plane; a funny and touching movie! Reach Bangkok at around 2p.m (Bangkok time). Took the bus and checked into the hotel. The hotel was just next to the night market, so I did quite a lot of shopping at night!

Woke up really early, had breakfast, checked out and on the way to tour Bangkok and Pattaya! Went to the tiger zoo first then some leather factory and gems factory. Saw tiggers and piglets! Dogs, pigs, tiger living under one roof; happy family! Pigs can count and run! Took pictures with scorpians, monitor lizards (forced to)

Third day woke up early and set off to Coral island! Speed boat ride and I sat right in front. Finally I got a taste of what "endless" meant. The sea was magnificent; no boundary! 20 mins ride; I went up and down with the waves; my butt hurts after that. Greeting me at coral island was clear sea water and soft sand. Went on the jet ski and bath under the sun! Jet Skiing was fun; I imagined I was James Bond on a mission. I was going so fast that the instructor had to ask me to slow down; LOL! Went back to the hotel and went to some garden for preformance. Watched elephants play basketball; soccer and bowling!

That's about it; boy it was fun. Also, in the minst of fun I didn't forget God. After much praying and struggles; God spoke to me through His words. I was really touched and gained strength! Found in John 6:37 and 39 All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away... I shall lose none of all that He has given me, but raise them up on the last day. Great yeah; wonderful promise! I was listening to the song Complete at that time.. Thank you Jesus!

Finally I finish packing my bag for my flight later; I think I need to buy another bag if I'm doing lots of shopping! School has been out for a week; what have I done?

Well, Monday was the class outing; quite fun! Been a long time since we last gathered as a class. For the next outing, I'm not very sure if I can make it; confirm the time with me and I'll try and mark out the date. However, please drop the idea of walking around "with no sense of direction"! It's damn kuku to be walking around like zombies not knowing where to go. A waste of time for me (o_o)!

Work, work, work; that's all that happened for the past week. Never worked full shifts for so many days and it's damn tired having to be on my feet for 10 over hours and doing the job of two person. Call me super lady or what.

Quite sad when I receive the news that Jim left Stream of Praise suddenly! Although not very close to him; but I have gotten use to him being the "tai kor" of the BBS! I wonder how would "Andy Lau" of SOP be like? Haa, "Andy Lau"! There's Yao Ming, Andy Lau and Kui Jien in SOP! So much for being countries apart; but they looked alike.

Results are like coming out soon and I haven started on my sup revision. Bringing my books on holiday with me; sad case!

People around me are getting real busy yeah? Chang Chi is busy with her job, my Pig number 2 is busy with her studies; so is Arfa, Cindy and others! Boy, we are countries apart but I'm sure glad we met! Add oil arg people!!

Dad is sending me for the flight; Mom wanted to come also but she would have to rush! I was like, it's just a holiday and not as if I'm going overseas for a few years! Mentioning going overseas; I really do hope I can stay away for a few years and have a change of environment. Come on, offer me some scholarship and ship me over to some country!

Gonna miss Church this Sunday; first time I'm away on a Sunday without church people with me. Weird. I'll see if I can meet Zeke in Thailand!!

So many things have happened this few days!!

Dear brother Jim left without a notice; what happened that you left SOP also? Hope that you have found a new job at a new location; that's why you are leaving! We are gonna miss you so much!

A few more hours and I will be flying off to thailand!!

See you guys again; in a few days time!