Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Oscar Night
I forgot there was Oscar on TV yesterday morning until I heard the radio annouced that Jennifer Hudson won the Best Supporting Actress. I tried imaging what it's like when I'm eating Dim Sum in Paramount while Ellen was hosting on stage.. Here are the pictures if you missed last morning's LIVE and night's encore of the Oscar!
That crazy Ellen had a "Gospel Choir" to sing how happy she felt for those nominated.
Then during breaks she when to Clint Eastwood to take a picture for her MySpace and passed a book of script to Martin Scorsese entitled "Good Momma".
I thought Ellen would wear a dress for Oscar; but she looked good in the maroon suit.
The opening when she came out. I think this picture is cute. She looked like a little girl standing on the stage for some audition.
Al Gore was there at the Oscar too. I don't remember he looking like that, he changed a lot!
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Enough of Oscar, I'm feeling better already! Thanks and I appreciate those who care!
Finish off my HCI paper yesterday, at least the things I studied came out! It make a difference when you study for an exam. Next up is Law paper, ADID and WAD sub paper.
That crazy Ellen had a "Gospel Choir" to sing how happy she felt for those nominated.
Then during breaks she when to Clint Eastwood to take a picture for her MySpace and passed a book of script to Martin Scorsese entitled "Good Momma".
I thought Ellen would wear a dress for Oscar; but she looked good in the maroon suit.
The opening when she came out. I think this picture is cute. She looked like a little girl standing on the stage for some audition.
Al Gore was there at the Oscar too. I don't remember he looking like that, he changed a lot!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough of Oscar, I'm feeling better already! Thanks and I appreciate those who care!
Finish off my HCI paper yesterday, at least the things I studied came out! It make a difference when you study for an exam. Next up is Law paper, ADID and WAD sub paper.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Is it me or just the sensative side again? Actually, what's the driving point, what's causing it? I thought I could treat you like a friend I can confide with but over the years it just proved me wrong. Tests shows that we actually can't get along but I felt we could. Maybe I was wrong. Were you simply just entertaining me when you said that you care? I'm just so confused over our friendship. Someone told me you weren't really sincere; it struck me. I was so afraid that it will be true.
Oh come on.
It's time I really need a get away. I hope I can make it for the UK attachment then I will be away and away from the usuals for 16 weeks, 16 times.
Once I hope you were the one that I can share my dream and talk to. Someone that's my senior and someone I looked up to since young; and I didn't even know why I looked up to you. I do admire you for the patient and the leadership style. Always so good nature and temper to all the people. But than the question arised, was it real or out of routine?
I would prefer a REAL person, a REAL friend, a REAL person that I can looked up to. Everytime I'm with you I feel intimitated and that leads to me always depending on you for final decisions. Now there's changes going around; time I learn and open my eyes.
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I know some in there are real people. Though we seldom talk but I can tell when you ask; it's from your heart. Appreciate that, really. Not close friends, but will be long time friends.
Haha! Smile and the world will smile with you lah!
:)
Kevin once said before, "Jesus is the true friend, and that's all it matters!"
Walk away... walk away.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Dear Lord
Dear Lord,
I haven been in touch with you for a long time. My "tomorrow" never comes, my prayers are short, my heart is full. It feels like I'm standing all alone on the high way, while the dark clouds gathered and I didn't bring my raincoat. I'm feeling cold.. and all alone even though I know I'm not.
I feel like crying but the tears ran away. I tried to cover, but couldn't cover fully. I could still see the ugly side of the world and worse of all; me.
Then, I tried to face the wall but my thoughts won't let me go.
I guess I need sometime alone, like what I used to do. I recalled the times I made trips to the airport on my own and spend hours sitting down. Now, the airport seems so noisy. I need to find my quite place once more.
God, did I tell you that I have been feeling vexed? I don't have to, because You already knew. I tried to come to you, pour it out to you; but it just doesn't seem right. Why? What had happened? I seem like all screwed up. Didn't finish my project, screwed the presentation, sucked at theory.. and what more? I'm so so so screwed to the end. I can't imagine I scored amount the best in class in secondary school and now... amount the last.
Just what happened? Where did my passion go? What happened to Dare2Dream, what happened to my zeal, what happen to Grace?
Oh God...
I'm speechless. There seem to be no one I can talk to. Si Yun went away, no one left. Don't feel like going out with the usuals anymore, don't feel like leading, don't feel like standing up straight. I need to run, run to... I don't know where.
I'M JUST SO NOT ME! HELPPP!!!!
I want to let it out... but.. I can't.
Someone.. talk to me. Angels?
I haven been in touch with you for a long time. My "tomorrow" never comes, my prayers are short, my heart is full. It feels like I'm standing all alone on the high way, while the dark clouds gathered and I didn't bring my raincoat. I'm feeling cold.. and all alone even though I know I'm not.
I feel like crying but the tears ran away. I tried to cover, but couldn't cover fully. I could still see the ugly side of the world and worse of all; me.
Then, I tried to face the wall but my thoughts won't let me go.
I guess I need sometime alone, like what I used to do. I recalled the times I made trips to the airport on my own and spend hours sitting down. Now, the airport seems so noisy. I need to find my quite place once more.
God, did I tell you that I have been feeling vexed? I don't have to, because You already knew. I tried to come to you, pour it out to you; but it just doesn't seem right. Why? What had happened? I seem like all screwed up. Didn't finish my project, screwed the presentation, sucked at theory.. and what more? I'm so so so screwed to the end. I can't imagine I scored amount the best in class in secondary school and now... amount the last.
Just what happened? Where did my passion go? What happened to Dare2Dream, what happened to my zeal, what happen to Grace?Oh God...
I'm speechless. There seem to be no one I can talk to. Si Yun went away, no one left. Don't feel like going out with the usuals anymore, don't feel like leading, don't feel like standing up straight. I need to run, run to... I don't know where.
I'M JUST SO NOT ME! HELPPP!!!!
I want to let it out... but.. I can't.
Someone.. talk to me. Angels?
Labels: Dear Lord
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Chinese New Year Eve and I'm feeling like this. Did I ever mention before that I dislike my own family gathering? I think I did and till now I still do. I just feel that everyone is so fake, maybe it's just me. Maybe because I'm not one of them that's why I feel this way.How I envy those who can enjoy the companion of their huge family, but not me. Uncle David has just arrived from Canada and people are treating him like KING; even Grandma. Can't stand it. Because of his snores, I have no choice but to move out of my room to Grandma's. Uncle David's snores can wake a dead person up. Then Grandma said that Uncle David couldn't have snored the whole night; which he did. Damn it.
It was pouring just now, I walked home in the rain and soaking wet. To get change, I want to take a bath to waste all the dirty water off me. Then Grandma without asking scolded me for bathing so early. What the heck, do I even need your permission to bath? Can't I get off my soaking wet cloths and change into something dry first!
All they care is about their "face". "You better don't throw my face", I've been hearing Grandma say that since young. "You better don't do this", "Don't think about it." Enough!
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The UK attachment is more or less about 50% confirmed. The company is willing to sponsor my living expenses and all I need is airticket and some money to use over there. And even these.. Grandma want to comment! When I talked about UK and stuff, she'll go.. "You haven go, don't talk and think too much!"
Typical Singaporeans. Did I also forget to mention that I have a typical Singaporean family? In this family, you're not allow to dream big. After graduation, you are expected to find an office job that can earn you a few thousand dollars and that's enough. Travel once a year is enough, mind your own business and stay on the ground; FOREVER.
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I don't like to use such words, but I HATE it. HATE it when people have such mindsets and worse of all, trying to pass it on to the next generation. Come on, if you're a failure yourself don't drag others down. You know that you work hard as a constructor then don't expect your generation to follow you.
PLEASE...PLUUUUEEAASSEEE!!!
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Guess tonight I will just drink my soup, watch my television and watch the rest of the family entertain the KING.
Happy Lunar New Year's Eve.
* Just before I end off this post.. Grandma asked that KING why didn't he go eat his lunch. What about me? Damn it.
Friday, February 16, 2007
I tried to sleep earlier on, but this headache of mine just don't allow me to. As I lie in bed, hearing Uncle David snores, a question just popped into me. "What if I die tonight?"
Silly as it seems, but this question have ran through my mind a zillion time. What if I die? Will I go to heaven? What will God say to me? I haven been a great child of His, is He gonna be happy seeing me?
I've read news how people just die in their sleep, not even a signal to show that there's anything not right. I wonder how it feels to... pass away.
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People are gonna cry, ask "why?" and so on... After a while things get back to normal again. Maybe once in a while someone will think and talk about me... What will I be doing? Dancing around in Heaven, singing songs, playing with angels and sitting by God's lap?
Will He embrace me when I read the Heaven's gate? WIll He say welcome home, or you're home... early!
Hahaha...
It's so weird to think of what will happen after I die.
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I know each person's life is limited. Some for a few days, months and years. Babies who were born and died the next minute. Old folks who lived a ripe old age of 90 before passing on.
I know my life is limited too.. Who knows lah.. next year or a few years later it's my turn to say good-bye? But I sure hope that before I die, I can have some time left. Not to prepare mentally for death, but time to write letters and maybe tour the places I must go before death.
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Death..
What's so scary.
Our God have overcome it.
He has defeated it.
Headache. Gone. :)
Talk about death :)
Silly as it seems, but this question have ran through my mind a zillion time. What if I die? Will I go to heaven? What will God say to me? I haven been a great child of His, is He gonna be happy seeing me?
I've read news how people just die in their sleep, not even a signal to show that there's anything not right. I wonder how it feels to... pass away.
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People are gonna cry, ask "why?" and so on... After a while things get back to normal again. Maybe once in a while someone will think and talk about me... What will I be doing? Dancing around in Heaven, singing songs, playing with angels and sitting by God's lap?
Will He embrace me when I read the Heaven's gate? WIll He say welcome home, or you're home... early!
Hahaha...
It's so weird to think of what will happen after I die.
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I know each person's life is limited. Some for a few days, months and years. Babies who were born and died the next minute. Old folks who lived a ripe old age of 90 before passing on.
I know my life is limited too.. Who knows lah.. next year or a few years later it's my turn to say good-bye? But I sure hope that before I die, I can have some time left. Not to prepare mentally for death, but time to write letters and maybe tour the places I must go before death.
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Death..
What's so scary.
Our God have overcome it.
He has defeated it.
Headache. Gone. :)
Talk about death :)
Reading is important, very important. I just went to the library today to do some reading. Read Zits.. Bahahaha! Went out of boredom...
Exams..Chinese New Year.. red packets... GRACE
Exams..Chinese New Year.. red packets... GRACE
Thursday, February 15, 2007
hello... ha ha ha ha ha
Hello...
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine Day!!
Happy Valentine Day!! Surprise to see SW with her boyfriend, I thought she didn't have one.Haa!! Happy V-Day...
Friday, February 09, 2007
This picture best describe my feelings for school. Crap, didn't turn up for my WAD presentation today and guess I gave up on that. Lab test next week... I want school to end soon!! School is just not my cup of tea, especally in this course where I lack passion in. I need to finish what I started.Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Jesus take the wheel
Jesus take the wheel
Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to
CincinnatiOn a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
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Jesus take the wheel of my life. I've been driving too fast and am losing control of the car. Maybe I though You drived too slowly and I took over from You. But Lord, I'm no good at driving; take the wheel from me.
For as long as I can remember, never one day I didn't drag school. It just got worse in poly. Did I made the wrong choice in course and now I'm struggling to graduate? Looking at the rest of my course mates who can do things like programming, creating games and such.. I doubt I can do that. How did I past each semester and move on till now? Beats me.
I lost count how many times I wanted to quit this course; but always I tell myself I came too far to say quit.
As of from Farabi, 20 days more to holiday and a year more to graduate.
Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to
CincinnatiOn a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It's been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh
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Jesus take the wheel of my life. I've been driving too fast and am losing control of the car. Maybe I though You drived too slowly and I took over from You. But Lord, I'm no good at driving; take the wheel from me.
For as long as I can remember, never one day I didn't drag school. It just got worse in poly. Did I made the wrong choice in course and now I'm struggling to graduate? Looking at the rest of my course mates who can do things like programming, creating games and such.. I doubt I can do that. How did I past each semester and move on till now? Beats me.
I lost count how many times I wanted to quit this course; but always I tell myself I came too far to say quit.
As of from Farabi, 20 days more to holiday and a year more to graduate.
Travel
One of my biggest dream is to travel the world with a bag on my back! Not staying in 5 stars hotel, following tours, eating in high class places, walking under the guidence of a tour guide. NO. Whenever I went on trips like such, I can't help but feel empty and sometimes afraid! However if it's trips to Cambodia, Malaysia and those ulu areas; I'm quite relax!
I dream of a day living on farm lands, not a single high rise building in sight.
I'll go mountain climbing and leaping off from clifts; and not die :)
I'll spend a white Christmas building snowmen and fighting snow wars.
I'll welcome spring with open arms, feeding swans on the lakes and skipping stones on them.
When fall arrive, I'll pile up the leaves and jump into them!
Each morning I'll wake up with fresh air around. The animals waiting for me to feed and after that I'll just spend the day lazing and watching clouds float by.
Then I'll ride my bike down the country road feeling the wind on my face.
Testify To Love
by Avalon
album: A Maze Of Grace, Testify To Love: The Very Best Of Avalon (2003)
All the colors of the rainbow,
All the voices of the wind;
Every dream that reaches out,
That reaches out to find where love begins;
Every word of every story,
Every star in every sky,
Every corner of creation lives to testify
Chorus:
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough.
With every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above.
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.
From the mountains to the valleys,
From the rivers to the sea (rivers to the seas);
Every hand that reaches out,
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace (give peace);
Every simple act of mercy,
Every step to kingdom come (kingdom come);
All the hope in every heart will speak what love has done.
Bridge
Colors of the rainbow
Voices of the wind
Dream that reaches out where love begins
Word of every story
Star in every sky
Corner of creation testify
Mountains to the valleys
Rivers to the sea
Hand that reaches out to offer peace
Simple act of mercy
Step to kingdom come
Every heart will speak
Of what love has done
Colors of the rainbow
Voices of the wind
Dream that reaches out where love begins
Word of every story
Star in every sky
Corner of creation testify
Testify your love
testify your truth
testify your life
Your love and mercy x2
I dream of a day living on farm lands, not a single high rise building in sight.
I'll go mountain climbing and leaping off from clifts; and not die :)
I'll spend a white Christmas building snowmen and fighting snow wars.
I'll welcome spring with open arms, feeding swans on the lakes and skipping stones on them.
When fall arrive, I'll pile up the leaves and jump into them!
Each morning I'll wake up with fresh air around. The animals waiting for me to feed and after that I'll just spend the day lazing and watching clouds float by.
Then I'll ride my bike down the country road feeling the wind on my face.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of my life resolution is to sleep under the stars. Haha.. I don't know.. Some people thought that my dream of travelling round the world and leading a simple life is unacheivable. Why? Maybe they see that I'm not that rich and I have to be realistic?
I can't imagine spending my all my life in Singapore, stuck inside fours walls and living fast-paced till I die. How sad. The world is too huge to do that.
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Maybe I'll stay for a while more to earn some money for travelling. Can't help but agree that everything boils down to money, how sad too. Then I'll pack my bag, take a bus to airport, close my eyes and choose a location to fly to. Stay in motels, work in farms to earn my next air ticket and maybe internet fees to stay in contact. If I can, I'll still send some money back to my parents! But before that is my Doulos trip for 2 years!
Wah... some may think what about your parents since you're the only child? Well.. I'll leave it all to God, He knows my deepest desire. If He plan for it, He'll pay. As I travel, I'll testify God's love! I still remember my dream as a missionarie.
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Testify To Love
album: A Maze Of Grace, Testify To Love: The Very Best Of Avalon (2003)
All the colors of the rainbow,
All the voices of the wind;
Every dream that reaches out,
That reaches out to find where love begins;
Every word of every story,
Every star in every sky,
Every corner of creation lives to testify
Chorus:
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.
I'll be a witness in the silences
When words are not enough.
With every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above.
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love.
From the mountains to the valleys,
From the rivers to the sea (rivers to the seas);
Every hand that reaches out,
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace (give peace);
Every simple act of mercy,
Every step to kingdom come (kingdom come);
All the hope in every heart will speak what love has done.
Bridge
Colors of the rainbow
Voices of the wind
Dream that reaches out where love begins
Word of every story
Star in every sky
Corner of creation testify
Mountains to the valleys
Rivers to the sea
Hand that reaches out to offer peace
Simple act of mercy
Step to kingdom come
Every heart will speak
Of what love has done
Colors of the rainbow
Voices of the wind
Dream that reaches out where love begins
Word of every story
Star in every sky
Corner of creation testify
Testify your love
testify your truth
testify your life
Your love and mercy x2
My travel "theme" song.
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Labels: dream
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Just came back from the airport sending Si Yun off to Australia. Though she will only be gone for 6 months, but I still kinda feel sad when I send her off. Guess we will never learn to cherish until the last moment. It was the first time I huggee someone so long and tight; she's a friend that meant something to me. Guess by now she's on the plane waiting to take off.
My prayers for you, Si Yun. May you be able to acheive what you are going and looking for. Living alone in a foriegn land may be difficult, but time will settle all things. Take really good care and hope that you can find a part-time job real soon. In all your struggles, know that you have come too far to say "give up". Take every failure as a learning experience, one fine day you're gonna be a star! Take real good care, ah bu!
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Project submission this Thursday and coming Monday. Feels like a drag now..
I've been pondering if I should work for OM for my attachment. One thing they can't pay me, which means I can earn that extra 400 bucks. With that 400 bucks, I could do a lot of other things like travel! Cleo and I planned to bacpack to Australia in 2008 when I graduate :)
Seems like I can't go for the Malaysia trip now, both my tuition kids will be having their exams around that period, can't leave then. Hope it can be posponed.
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Sending Si Yun off remind me of En Hua when I send her off in 2000.. Speaking of that, I have yet to send my letter to her. Procastination!
Travelling is my blood now!!
Haha, anyway I'm sponsoring a child soon. There's both for me to choose.. one from myanmar and the other from bangladesh. Which one? Hmmm... I hope to make a difference in someone's life..
My prayers for you, Si Yun. May you be able to acheive what you are going and looking for. Living alone in a foriegn land may be difficult, but time will settle all things. Take really good care and hope that you can find a part-time job real soon. In all your struggles, know that you have come too far to say "give up". Take every failure as a learning experience, one fine day you're gonna be a star! Take real good care, ah bu!
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Project submission this Thursday and coming Monday. Feels like a drag now..
I've been pondering if I should work for OM for my attachment. One thing they can't pay me, which means I can earn that extra 400 bucks. With that 400 bucks, I could do a lot of other things like travel! Cleo and I planned to bacpack to Australia in 2008 when I graduate :)
Seems like I can't go for the Malaysia trip now, both my tuition kids will be having their exams around that period, can't leave then. Hope it can be posponed.
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Sending Si Yun off remind me of En Hua when I send her off in 2000.. Speaking of that, I have yet to send my letter to her. Procastination!
Travelling is my blood now!!
Haha, anyway I'm sponsoring a child soon. There's both for me to choose.. one from myanmar and the other from bangladesh. Which one? Hmmm... I hope to make a difference in someone's life..
