The Grace in Grace

I TURN TO YOU (Christina Aguilera)

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know
I'll find the light to light my way.
And when I'm scared and losing ground;
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there;
Pushing me to the top.
You're always there; giving me all you've got.

CHORUS
For a shield from the storm;
For a friend; for a love
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong;
For the will to carry on;
For everything you do;
For everything that's true,
I turn to you.

When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again.
I can do anything, 'Cause your love is so amazing;
'cause your love inspires me. (Yes it does)
And when I need a friend, you're always on my side;
Giving me faith that gets me through the night.

CHORUS

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain;
For truth that will never change;
For someone to lean on;
For a heart I can rely on through anything; (you can rely on me)
For that one who I can run to.... I turn to you.

CHORUS

I turn to you...

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Inspiration :)

It's alright, Freddy Ang Jing Ming. I accept you as my friend even if you're GAY :)

Grandma has not been feeling well for quite some time. She recently got well, but fallen ill again a few days ago. Seeing her suffer like these made my heart turn sour. She's tired, she sleeps alot and she ate very little.

I admit that losing her will be the greatest lost in my life. I have no idea how I will get along without her to push me through. Though we live in an asian country, but she never failed to show me that she loves me. She was the only one that encouraged me to do better each time, she was the only one that know me inside out. Without opening my mouth, she knew what I wanted for meals. In the past all she got from me was sulky face, hot tempers and bad manners. She is the first one that made me feel tresured and the only one that I hugged without feeling weird.

Well, I clearly know that her home is not here; but in Heaven. But without her would be so different. I can only pray for strength when the time come. I cannot be selfish to keep her by myside..

God, if You are taking her home.. Could You at least let me prepare ahead?

Get well soon :)

SIP Day 4:

I shall skip day 1 to 3 because it's all the same. We have been sitting in front of computer and doing pratically nothing. But yesterday we grew clever, we invented a new game! Not only does it kill boredom, it trains the eye also.

Here's how you play. Enlarge the fonts of a document to the maximum. Then have your friend read out the numbers/words when you scroll pass with super speed. Try it in office, it's fun!

Then today we got even smarter. While chatting on email, we pretended like we were typing out codes; we even talked java. That is just smart of us, can?!

Oh yeah, today we brought yakult after lunch, looks like we are storing more and more food. This whole attachment will be about storing food and talking java. I sure do hope work comes by, else we will run out of "codes" to type.

Here's the code we generated:

if(hungry== yes){
(golunch);
else(don'tgo);

}if(feelingCold== yes)
{(drinkMilo);
else
(sitAndDunMoveContinueToActBusyAndTypeCodes);

}if(stomach== hungry)
{(Feel like eating MacDonalds);
else eatFoodCourtagain) ?>

if(stomach==hungry)
{(eatanythingsinceishungrymah);
else (dunnoloh);

if(stomach ==full)
{(buyYakult);
else(continueToFake);

function wantToBringOutYakult
var placeItOnTable !=4,display;

function lunch_hour
var 1pm, veryLong. (!sianAlready);
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How come Azri tagboard so popular, mine got nothing? Ahaha.. Orh.. My class people don't care about me!!

Let's continue to slack at work...

Attachment is real bore. For 3 days I have been sitting in front of the computer doing literally NOTHING! Come in office, sit until lunch time, come back and sit until knock off time. So, today we brought food to keep us awake after lunch.

We had it locked in the drawer. We'll share the chocolates later with everyone :)

Continue bore-ing

Ain't this little thing cute? Whatever his/her name is, I'm calling it FLUFF today. Hi, FLUFF! No matter how busy we get, we need to take time off to smell flowers!
Yes, Kit?
Animals are the love of my life..
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A friend shared with me why she didn't want any pet because she hate to see them go. True. Each living thing will have to go and I hate that feeling of loseing someone/thing we loved. But because we know that someone/thing will go someday, we learn to cherish. Didn't we? If all things live forever, we won't know how to spell C-H-E-R-I-S-H.

Just my 2 cents for the day

Let's see.

I woke up at 11.30a.m today, hoping to catch Martha Steward's show with Melissa Etheridge as a special guest. But the guest wasn't her, oh well. Went on to watch other shows ( I didn't even realise "Katong Miss Oh" existed) and read the papers. Then there was nothing to eat except instand noodles (thanks, Mom!); so that's was my meal for the past three days. Cut up apples because oranges were gone and suddenly have the crazy idea to cover them with peanut butter. I did and frozed them :) After showering, I ate them. NICE! Sprinkled some brown sugar and coco powder, a sin :P

Had a sudden urge to see the beach! Took Dad's new bike and off I went. Reached the beach, didn't really cycled much. Sat on the beach, under the sun most of the time (damn those sand flies). Nothing was going on in my mind, I had an hour of thoughtless mind.. COOL! Took a walk along the beach, picked up sea shells. Sudden disturbed by two irritating secondary school girls in white tops and navy blue skirts, shouting their heads out for no reason. Damn, they spolit the quietness of the surrounding. Don't wanna walk on the sand then don't come to the beach. I never had a liking for loud and brainless girls. Kuku.

Cycle to Macdonald's for a drink; since I didn't bring money, I could at least pay something with my EZ-Link. Cycled a short distant and decided to stop and watch the sea again. This time I saw a dog swimming.. a family having fun and a group of kaypos watching the dog swim..

Sat a while more and cycled back. Took a new route home. I'm sun burned :) Finally had a family dinner with Dad and Mom. I love soup.

Reluctantly when to LY's tuition. Made my blood boiled again. I asked her to find another tuition teacher who can tolerate her not studying and preparing for her exams. Someone who is a fairy who could make her pass by giving her tuition and she didn't have to do anything. Someone who won't scold her. Someone who can get paid by watching her do homework. Period.

That's my day so far :)

Attachment on Monday, reporting place at OCBC Centre; where the heck is that? Looks like a lot of people are attaching there. I HOPE there won't be any office politics. Hate them.

Actually I'm not stressed or whatsoever. I just feel restricted.. By what? I'm not too sure also. I decided to drop the post at GCC, no matter what will be said. I feel like leaving this country, leaving this place.. to where I don't know.. I need some place to jump.. Haha.. I can't wait to leave Singapore. Can't wait to travel the world. But then people will say "You need to work to support yourself. You need to take care of your parents. You need to finish your education."
So what if one day I choose not be the normal? What if one day I choose to live life the other way? What if one day I decided to give up what I have been working on for years? What if one day I just want to be me? I guess I lost myself quite some time ago; I need to find Grace back.
NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

Unwritten

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

[C] Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

[C] Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

今晚有聚会，但不想去。进几个月的“圣经小组”都没动力去。好像少了当年的什么似的。记得刚开始去团契时，我很开心很期待。早早就出门，带着的是一颗真诚的心去教会。一年年的过去，我们长大了，团契结束了。换成了现在的小组。本说是要一起查看圣经，但去了几次。。我们好像以前一样还在那里玩。聚会是也没怎么用到圣经，就好像我们是聚在一起聊天。很坦承的说，这不是我要得。长大了，我想更了解圣经不在那么想玩乐。是的，我还是喜欢有欢笑的时候。。但有时也需要静下来谈谈一些严肃的话题。

我以为这小组是为了较大的青年人预备的。。谈的话题却不够深入。对圣经有一种渴目，但这教会或小组不能完全的满足。有没有听过，但一人太饿时若不给他食物吃，过后即时再饿也吃不下了。现在的我是激饿的。真不希望有天我会饿到吃不下真理。

进几个月也面对一些敏感的问题。。我知道是魔鬼的诱惑，我不能跌下去！神阿，在这样的时刻我更需要祢抓住我不放。I cannot fall into temptation, I must be strong! 求祢洁净我的思想。让每个思想，不论好或坏，都完全的交给祢！我要听话！！

Presentation 完了，是时间氚口气啦！GC 的老妈过几天就要回国啦，会想她哦！虽然我们相识不到一个月，感情还蛮好的。我的这一班真是不错的一班！大家有说有笑，让整个上海游留下了美好的回忆。要开学啦，大家都会各忙各的见面的时间也会减少。。希望大家的这份友情会持续！加油！月底就要开始实习，维期四个月。虽然没被排到英国去，但我在新加坡的公司也不赖！每个月的薪水有660块钱，比我预先想象的多了许多。神的安排！若我到英国去，不只没薪水拿还要自费。现在身上有一点钱，想出国就没什么问题啦！自己有点钱是好的。

有好久好久的时间没和天父“聊天”了。就算有也只是简简单单的几句就“阿们”，倒头就睡。每一次的“明天”没有到来。嗨~我对神的“明天”几时会到呢？爱我的父阿，祢依然在等待着我。每一天祢等我向祢倾心，等我向祢述说我的每一个故事。让我 乖一点吧！

今年有好多事会发生。好期待！不管是好是坏，不论到那里；我都能体验到上帝！神的恩典是够我用！现在只想大声对祢说：“耶稣，我好爱好爱祢！”自己也不晓得为什么，就是有这样的感受。

不久前刚和同学们吃完超迟的午餐，现在又是晚餐时间。。饱饱饱！晚点吃吧。

*没排到英国，被排到OCBC银行作Internet的工作，还不错耶！ Keep praying for me!

KUKU lah! My Braziliano Praia sandals broke! I had it for less then two damn months.. As usual I wore it to school for meetings and stuff, when I was walking home the end broke! Heart broken~ Bloody hell, to think that it was my most expensive sandals I have ever bought. The last one I had costed me $3 and it was worn for nearly 4 years. This one, costed me $50 lasted for less then two months? It really make me ponder to buy expensive stuff again. $50 is expensive to me, ok? Mine was brown base and lime green stripes.. ______________________________________________________________________________
Anyway, here are somemore pictures of Shanghai trip from Xiao Chen's camera.

UK no more. No more UK.

Somehow the school didn't allocate me to my self secured OSIP position with OM. Maybe because of my results, my grades, my whatever. My results stinked like shit, didn't even clear that damn WAD paper. It's after the paper someone told me that the codes were available online and all we need to do was to change a little here and there. Can't imagine I sat there for 4 hours typing something that made no sense to me from the beginning.

What the heck. Wasted so much of Terence time to get connection for me and in the end I can't make it. So sorry for the trouble caused.
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Well, as said and prayed. May Your will be done and not mine. Though I may not understand why, but You see the bigger picture.


I admit. I'm angry and dissapointed.

Didn't go for GCC's immersion program today, not in my tip-top condition. I just slept my day away. Went to bed at around 12 midnight and woke up past 12 noon. Then slept again from 2p.m all the way till 6p.m. Sweeettt!

Here are some pictures that I took and liked them.. Haha, actually I like them all but these few are the tops. A forgotten red leaf in a forgotten garden
Quite waters of Zhu Jia Jiao, where the tradition continues with the hustel and bustle.
Young generations of China, faitful to their country
White flowers outside the children home
Night skyline of Shanghai
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Shanghai-Su zhou trip:
Reached the airport at around 9, spend some time at burger king and met the class at 11p.m. Checked in, walked a little at the transit area and boared the plane. Our seats were screwed up and we were thrown around. I got seated right in the middle of two strangers in the middle row.

Day 1:
Reached Shanghai's Pu Dong Airport at 6 in the morning, the sun were shinning bright. Collected our luggage, met our local guides and went for out Shanghainese Breakfast. After breakfast, we took a ride on the Maglev train. This Sino-German joint project involves the construction of an elevated, double-track guideway from Pudong International Airport to the Long Yang Road subway station near the Luijiazui Financial District in Pudong. With a maximun speed of 430km/h, the 30 km journey takes only 8 minutes!

We then took a coach transfer to Suzhou. On the way, we stopped at Zhu Jia Jiao's ancient water village in the south of the Yangtze river. Had a boat ride and lunched over there. I tried the smelly tou fu, bought by Bryan! After so, we visited the Net Master's Garden. It is the smallest of the Suzhou residential gardens, yet it is the most impressive becayse of its intensive usage of space which creates the illusion of an area that is much greater than its actual size.

Checked in to Nan Ya Hotel, had dinner then tutorial. The dinner was huge, had funny dishes..

Day 2:
Breakfast at hotel. In the morning we visited the Suzhou Industrial Park which was ratified by the State Council in Feb, 1994. It is a Sino-Singapore cooperation project. Attended a briefing by CSSD (China-Singapore Suzhou Development) and a Business forum with members from Suzhou-Singapore Club. We then make a stop at Suzhou Rooster Park.

After lunch, we had a site visit to APP. When returning back to the hotel, bus 1 had a mini accident. Their bus got stuck in the drain and couldn't move for a long time. Dinner and return to hotel.

Day 3:
Visited Suzhou-Singapore International School, A tea pot place and then a Silk Factory to see how silk is harvested and made into various products. We then took a coach back to Shanghai where enroute we stopped at a branded sports shoe factory outlet.. and the brands were?? Nike, Adidas, Reebok and I even saw Lacost! Went for a world class acrobatic performance before checking into Gang Hong Hotel.

Day4:
Visited Bo Ai Children's Rehabilitation for a session of community service. Had a great time with the kids over there.. Though they can't really communicate with us, we knew that we brough smiles to them. In the afternoon was a visit to GES. After dinner, we had a leisurely after-dinner stroll at Xin Tian Di, which is the entertainment and night hot-spot for the locals.

Day 5:
Visited families in the community of Cao Yang Xin Xun. The kindergarden were filled with kids running around.. Theur performance for us was great! Following which, we visited Shanghai Normal University. A local student became our guide of 3 in a group. Instead of walking around the school, someone requested her to bring us outside school for shopping. After lunch, we visited the Oriental Pearl TV Tower with the Chinese buddies. At the end of the tower tour, we went to the base museum. At night, we went to the Bund for photo shoots and then later at Nan Jing Road for some shopping.

Day 6:
Woke up very early. Actually didn't even sleep. The night before we stayed up for some games and chated till dawn. Well, though it was a short chat, but I felt I got to know my class more. We went to watch the locals conduct Taiqi and Qigong exercises befoe returning to the hotel for breakfast. Most of them didn't eat, only a few of us at the table. Let's see.. there's only Xiao Chen, Vivien, Tiffie, me, JK, Jia Ling and a few more..

Visited Jade Buddha temple, bought some tea and waited for the rest to pray before lunching. Then it's shopping at Qi Pu Road. The sales people there were fierce man!!! Things aren't really that cheap also. I prefer shopping in Thailand and Cambodia.

After Dinner, tranfer airport for the flight back to Singapore.

I'm back in Singapore once again.. Weather damn hot, missed the cold cold weather of Shanghai the moment I felt the heat. Landed this morning and headed to church after going home for a shower. So shacked, I missed my stop and had to take a return bus. Most of the time my eyes wanted to close during the sermon and during worship; I'm just this tired. Nose blocked, tired body and super dry face.. Damn.

Uploaded the pictures into my MSN space, for those who wants them or view them: Click on "Grace's space" and there you will find the photo album of this trip. I tried uploading some pictures into the blog, but the size was just too big and slowed down the whole process. It suck and irritates someone who was already so tired.

I'll go into details soon, after recharging my human batteries.
_____________________________________________________________________ Some of the class when we were checking in at Shanghai airport
Jun Kiat and me. Wonder why his glum face? Bwahaha... I hit him that day for waking me up in the bus when we reached the temple. I was still blurred from sleeping and thought he had played a prank on me for waking me up. I hit him quite hard I think; even I don't really remember. I knew I hit him, but not sure was it in my dreams or did I really hit him. In the end, I really did. So sorry! The moral of the story? Never wakes a person who lacks sleep up and if you have to, be careful.
Woke up early on the last day to watch people do Tai Chi. Since we got nothing to so, we joined in.. As you can tell from the picture, it was a screwed up and people laughted at us. Tiger was so distaught, he weeped.. Kidding :P
Mama and me on the street of Nan Jing..
Oriental Pearl Tower. Had a hard time getting this tower into the camera, in the end I had to use method like this.
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Alright, better get some sleep and head start on projects and immersion program.

I'm in Shanghai, yes I am! Don't be surprise at why I can blog, there free internet connection and my roomie brought her laptop along! The weather has been nothing but cold~ Never a warm moment! Temperature was from 5 to 16 degrees since the day we arrive.. By the way, I'm in Su Zhou now and will be travelling down to Shanghai tomorrow.

We arrive at 6 in the morning, the plane ride was alright. Got seated right in the middle of two strangers; one slept like a log and one watch TV the whole time. Me? Played street fighter and nearly cleared every stage. Meals in Shanghai and Su Zhou was HUGE! VERY HUGE! We had a 10-course breakfast on the first day! Noodles, Xiao Long Bao, Cakes, Congee, Noodles and more all in one single breakfast meal.. So darn full like hell. Haiya, now a lot of people want to use the lappie... Ahahaha.. Update more later lah.

Here are some pictures... It was so cold by the Jin Ji lake, we went bonkers
I was crazy enough to take off my shoes...
There sun, but it's still COLD
Su Zhou skyline
Photo whores of my class