The Grace in Grace

There are only a few things that would make me fall in love with them. Animals, countries, cameras, backpacks... Backpacks are beautiful and huge! I don't know about you, but I prefer to have a bag on my back rather dragging or hand carrying a bag while travelling.

Well, I don't have a big enough backpack to contain all my stuff for a week.. I was force to carry a trolley and my favorite backpack! I would never leave a country without "Salomon", my backpack's name.

I think it's time I better save enough to buy one of those really nice and huge hiking backpacks that I always wanted. Hundreds of dollars, quite steep for me. With the size, color, brand and capacity that I want; it might just cost over $200. Heck, I like it and as long as it's durable. Can't wait to get my hands on them!! Maybe I can get cheaper ones in Shanghai!
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Introducing the beautiful backpacks that I have set my eyes on.. *hint* What I want for birthday gift too... Ahahaha!! I think this holds about 60 Liters
This baby holds up to 90 Liters, the ideal bag... Maybe one with more colors..
This bag is beautiful too.. one of the classics!
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Almost done with my packing.. I still wish I had one of those bags..

Finally I cleared off all my papers, next week's the result. It's rainy today and the weather was cooling. It was darn hot for the past few days or maybe just hours. Pouring and pouring, I like rainy weathers.. During so I like to stay indoors....... and sometimes outdoors. Isn't it just nice to stay warm but at the same time feel a little cold and have a cup of tea or instand noodles?

Just as I sitting in front of the computer and browsing some blogs of my friends overseas, the same old comfortable feeling came back. Sweet, strange and a little scary. I don't know how to explain, but it seem like the feeling I would get when I'm far away from home and weather is cold.. Beats me, I don't know how to explain. It'll be good if you can feel the way I felt. Sweeeet! I like to be on my own, in my own world thinking about stuff or simly just listening to songs.. It's a king of special feeling that only I and God will understand; maybe some others also. Can you imagine yourself in a foreign land, winter time, families not with you; but yet you feel warmth and not alone? Maybe that's the best way to describe what that feeling was about.

Gonna go off for movies with Azri soon. We plan to catch two of them, since ticket was cheap. Mr Bean and 300; we'll see if there's time. Before that, the cat want his meal..

I haven pack for my trip yet; no idea what's special to pack. Seems like the longest trip that I'll go. Actually, one week isn't very long.. I don't really like it when people call this trip of mine "holiday".

"Eh you going for holiday arg?" Damn.. I just want to tell them it's not a HOLIDAY but a school trip. I enjoy overseas community projects, school trips much more than just plain HOLIDAYS. How many times must I tell you that it's not HOLIDAY? That darn tuition kid of mine keep cancelling her tuition with me.. I'm not hire to watch you do homework. And how I hate it when she keep calling me for no reasons.. my phone was dead yesterday, she called me 17 times and a million smses..Her families members practically shout into my ear when I answer their calls. Did I mention that I don't fancy rude callers, doesn't matter if it was my Dad.. I don't fancy that too..

Anyway.. off to Long John's

I just felt the tears welled up while chatting with a brother just now. Somehow we "lost" another brother. Though it's sad to not have him around anymore, but all the more I can share the joy with him when he told me about where he is now. Seperated by computers, but I can truely feel the joy inside him, the joy I never saw in him while he was with us.

The conversation ended off with a heavy weight in my heart. In the end, I allowed that drop of tear to fall. Maybe it was the first time I really teared because of Church, the first time I felt helpless and weak for the Church. Just where are we heading? Problems that began decades ago are still on going... Are we going to carry on like this, and let it go and pass down the problem to the next generation?

We are of no sides actually. Children of God, no difference between English side and Chinese side; there's no sides at all! Then why are putting ourselves on sides?

Am I staying because I want to do something or bondage to my servings? I'm sure many of us want to do something, but where and how to start? Who's with us?

We talked, we discussed. But the problem never seem to resolve. We introduce new "method" but fall back to square one most of the time. Did the leaders really take the problem into consideration and rate the seriousness?

Lord, I know I cannot do anything on my own.. but right now at this moment.. I really felt so helpless.

It was almost 9 when I board the bus, I am late. The paper starts in 10 minutes time, nothing was gonna get me to the examination hall in that amount of time left. Am I failing this practical without even taking it? I was angry, "Why do you want!" I questioned God. "You know that I can't afford to fail!" I almost shouted in my heart. Tears were rolling through the journey, can I still take the exam?

I reached. It was almost 9.30. Went in, the teacher didn't asked why I was late. I sat for the practical. I gave a sight of relieve, and apologised to God. All along I know God is in charge, but in times like these when I can't see what God's plan was; I panicked. Still I prayed, "Your will and not mine." A lesson learnt.

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Went for Tony Anthony's event at Church, great testimony and presentation. Finished his book recently, a great book to read. I remembered it was Nicky Cruz's testimony that changed my life in 2000, 7 years later it was Tony Anthony's testimony that once again tell me that God's love is big enough to cover all sins. I didn't went through life experience like the both of them, but still because of God's grace I was found and saved.

One day, I hope to share my testimony to the world too. Though it may not be as chilling and exciting but it's not the content that bring people to God, but His Holy Spirit.

Heard about the Hoyt Team shared by Tony. The video showed was simply moving and drove many to tears. Tony started by sharing a son's wish to run in a marathon for charity and asked his dad to run with him and they did. Then they run from marathon to many other races and to Iron Man. What we didn't know was the son, Rick, suffers from spastic quadriplegic, cerebral palsy, he couldn't talk, walk or even move his limps. It was the father's determination and the child's wish that they run in races like normal people.
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Rick's father, Dick, reminded me of God.

We are like Rick.

When we couldn't run in our race, God ran for us, He ran for us. When we couldn't swim in our race, God swam for us. When we couldn't cycle for our race, God cycled for us. God brough us along in all the races, so that we could witness for ourselves His love and grace for us. We sat there, God did the work and sweat for us. We wanted to do things, but sometimes by ourself we can't do it. God saw and heard our desire, He step in to help us acheive it.


Great day, great testimonies.

I THINK I JUST SCREWED UP MY HAIR BY SAYING " CAN YOU GIVE ME A NEW HAIRSTYLE" TO THE WOMAN!! ARGGG!!! NOW MY HAIR SUCKED, IF I DON'T LIKE IT HOW TO EXPECT OTHERS TO LIKE IT?! ARGGG!!! SCREWED!!

She cut half my head.. YES HALF! Now one side is SUPER short and the other a little longer. UGLY!!! I'M GOING TO BUY A CAP!!

ARGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After all these years... I'm still very in love with hamsters! I still miss Bee Bee, Ding Dong, and Fei Zhu at times. Well, there are many other hamsters that looked like them, but will never replace them...

All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I’m making them Yours

Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I’ve been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You
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Chance upon this song a few days ago and I remember hearing it few years before. Such a simple and sweet song. How nice would it be to sing every praise and worship song from our heart and not care about the surrounding? Easy said but yet hard to acheive. We tried, by closing our eyes and sometimes by raising our hands. But are out heart really quiet and filled with the Lord's spirit? A wrong note came in and we can't help but notice and maybe even laught at it. If the music were to stop suddenly, eyes would be opened and minds would go wondering what happened.

Maybe I shall try for myself, what does singing with our heart meant.
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Who am I to come before You? Who am I to seek for You? Who am I to even talk to You? You make me realise that I don't have to perfect first to come to you. For when I come forward You will make me perfect. By my own strength what can I do, but with You, the impossible was made possible. I came a long way, shed buckets of tears and had multiple plasters on my wounds. Each time I wandered off, You are like the sherperd that left behind 99 other sheep to come look for one lost one. You will always be on the right track and waiting for me to come home. O Lord, how many times have I broke your heart and made all those empty promises; but each time when I cried out to You, You listened and embraced me with Your megar hug. Like Isareal, though I'm rebellious and sin against You; but You lifted me up when I cried out in need. I'm nothing but a sinner born again by Your grace. Where would I be without You?
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I just can't stop loving You!

You know, it's the holidays and I had the time to look through some pictures. I'm glad someone invented cameras; it captures memories! 10 years down the road we will forget what happened on that particular day, but pictures would bring it back...

Talking about memories.. it feels kinda sad if you have to leave behind what you have grown use to. Yeah, there's the MSN, skype, emails and telephones; but it will just be so weird. Most part of me wants to go, but a little part is afraid of starting afresh.

Well, I'm sure if the time comes.. I will know how to handle it!
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Anyway, Lydia's birthday party was packed with people on Saturday and my hands are still tired after BBQing. Imaging having to BBQed for hours and hours and it wasn't enough to feed the people! On Sunday I complained to Wan Yi that I don't know why my hands feels so tired and sore; she gave me the solution. The cause: BBQing. Bwahahaha! People's at Lydia's party start to go at around 10, leaving the few of us behind to play fire sparkers, blow bubbles and BBQ somemore. The while compound was filled with smoke from the fire sparkers; nearly died. Steffie and I had some memory check into the past talking about the last Church camp the whole lot of us attended together. Childhood. Have you noticed how hard it is nowdays to do memory checks with your friends already? I enjoyed the moment we sat down and talk over the pit BBQing apple, grapes, chicken and hot dogs.

Steffie Lim was crazy enough to try the BBQed grapes and apple bit! Bwahahah! Poor birthday girl didn't had a chance to eat until everyone left.. all she ate was left overs of the BBQ. The star of the day always have to face this.. Anyway, I'm sure Lydia had fun. Lucky this time we didn't smash cake into her face, cause the cake is expensive and simply creamless. I had fun cutting the huge cake also.. Ahahaha! Happy Birthday Eve!

Waking up early on Sunday wasn't as tough as I thought. All thanks to Ellen! Someone didn't switch off the television when he falls asleep, so it was loud and on the whole night. It was 6a.m when Ellen's show came on. I was woken up at that second and watch a little of the show (Because it was a repeat). Then, went to bath and woke Ning up. The dawn has yet to break when we stepped out of the chalet. Not to mentioned the air was fresh and we made a quick breakfask run to Macdonald's. It was a LONG walk to 109's bus stop. Thank God I didn't fall asleep in Church (Had only 2 hours of wink that night). But I can't help falling asleep during LY's tuition.My secondary friends for 4 years and adding!
Churchies for nearly 10 years and counting!
Crazy 4E class!
Poly mates for 2 years and counting!

Having just done with two papers, my mood nowadays are like the sunflower beaming. Though there are two more sub papers and maybe even three, it doesn't burdened me that much like last time.

Yesterday while on the long bus journey to Church, I've learn to trust God in His decisions in my life. I believe if one door is closed, God will open the other. KW's mom called yesterday telling me that she would like to stop my tuition as KW's relative wanted to teach him. Well, it worked out pretty fine with me. Yeah, I will lose an huge income for my part but on the other hand God might just be preparing for something. I always listened to my MP3 while on the bus, so when the call came I plucked it out. When it ended I plucked it back in and I heard this pharse from the song that was playing, "Hope will rise, glory shown. In my life Your will be done." This pharse came just in time :)

Oceans Will Part – Hillsong

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

[Chorus]
Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life
Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

What my eyes can see is limited, but God's vision is wider than mine. Sometimes I may not understand why but I know God is in control. Just when I was fretting about KW's and LY's tuition, God somehow gave me a solution. Well, God... If it's Your will that I go to UK, please guide me through. I've always prayed and read about it, "If it is God's will for you to go, He will pay for it." My Father is rich :)

Alright, I better get changed and shop for Lydia's present. Happy Early Birthday, Lydia!!