Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Often during downtimes, sorrows and troubles we asked, "Why me? Why!" That's pretty normal, I do that sometimes. But have we ever wondered how many times did we asked, "Why me? Why!" when we are going through good times, happiniess and flying high?
There's so much frustration in our lives that we have learned to hide ourself so that we don't get hurt. But the more we hide, the more we run away.. the deeper the wounds, and the pain became so unbearable that we are numb of it. Scary.
It's good to have someone to talk to, someone to pour all your sorrows to, someone or some places that we can vent frustrations at.
God, in times like these.. Hold our hands so that we will walk the way You want us to talk. Hold me close so that the world can't destroy me. Cover my eyes when it's needed and open them up when You need to.
There's so much frustration in our lives that we have learned to hide ourself so that we don't get hurt. But the more we hide, the more we run away.. the deeper the wounds, and the pain became so unbearable that we are numb of it. Scary.
It's good to have someone to talk to, someone to pour all your sorrows to, someone or some places that we can vent frustrations at.
God, in times like these.. Hold our hands so that we will walk the way You want us to talk. Hold me close so that the world can't destroy me. Cover my eyes when it's needed and open them up when You need to.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
今天的辩论输掉啦；反而有一点点开心耶！不过后来听反方的成员说我那组的势力不错噢，只是我们没去预备今天的辩论而已；所以我那组是有机会赢的。输了也没关系，辩论大决赛我们就不用操心啦！辩论课题就到此结束。
会常读我blog的朋友会疑问为什么最近常用华语来抒写呢？是我最近发觉我的华文，华语退步了！得赶紧练一练不然就会把自己的母语忘得一干二进！说到底我毕竟是个华人，虽然有一点点的混血。
明天考试，但今天却没心读。省两科就考完，然后休息一下下又考。
服侍越多，考验越多。我这样说可以吗？背负的责任也越大！圣诞布道会又要来了，今年会比去年好吧？我看今年我会和以馨联同几位弟兄姐妹一起领赞美敬拜。昨天开会时，一直不能选出一个总负责人。选来选去，我看还不是那几个吗？现是看谁能担任总负责人这个职位。我看我跟以馨两人都对“总负责人”的职位带有一点点的“害羞”与“礼让”吧；哇哈哈！人就是这样，想要但不感开口；包括我在内！看神如何的带领吧！
教师节要到了，忘了有多久没庆祝啦！上一次是在中学四年级时，都已经忘了是怎样一回事。现的学校太大，根本没机会庆祝。幸好今年教会有庆祝！
不多写啦!
会常读我blog的朋友会疑问为什么最近常用华语来抒写呢？是我最近发觉我的华文，华语退步了！得赶紧练一练不然就会把自己的母语忘得一干二进！说到底我毕竟是个华人，虽然有一点点的混血。
明天考试，但今天却没心读。省两科就考完，然后休息一下下又考。
服侍越多，考验越多。我这样说可以吗？背负的责任也越大！圣诞布道会又要来了，今年会比去年好吧？我看今年我会和以馨联同几位弟兄姐妹一起领赞美敬拜。昨天开会时，一直不能选出一个总负责人。选来选去，我看还不是那几个吗？现是看谁能担任总负责人这个职位。我看我跟以馨两人都对“总负责人”的职位带有一点点的“害羞”与“礼让”吧；哇哈哈！人就是这样，想要但不感开口；包括我在内！看神如何的带领吧！
教师节要到了，忘了有多久没庆祝啦！上一次是在中学四年级时，都已经忘了是怎样一回事。现的学校太大，根本没机会庆祝。幸好今年教会有庆祝！
不多写啦!
It's funny how I was saved from abortion and this morning I will be debating on abortion; the best thing is I'm not against it! So, it's a little messy if I should put my heart into the debate or just simply let it pass by? If the team lose, we don't have to prepare for the final debate! Actually, I don't mind losing...
Did I mention my story here before?
You see, I wasn't meant to be here but because of God's grace I remained on earth! My mom had a few abortions and when it was me, she decided to keep me! Must be God's grace, God must have said "Keep the baby!". It's amazing how much effect a decision can cause.
I'm done with SWEN, what's left is my DBSY and CMath1. After tuesday, I will be a free person for a little while before I get busy again. Continue to pray for me!
Did I mention my story here before?
You see, I wasn't meant to be here but because of God's grace I remained on earth! My mom had a few abortions and when it was me, she decided to keep me! Must be God's grace, God must have said "Keep the baby!". It's amazing how much effect a decision can cause.
I'm done with SWEN, what's left is my DBSY and CMath1. After tuesday, I will be a free person for a little while before I get busy again. Continue to pray for me!
Monday, August 21, 2006
这几天都在狂睡，忘了有几天我没好好睡。刚刚把三个作业交上，现在要开始好好读书；星期五考试！考三天，然后等两个星期再考。我看INMM完蛋了！很多东东没交，Gallery不能运作。。准备再考INMM！
没什么心情blog。。。
Thursday, August 17, 2006
This is what happens during "peak period"...
You don't have time to tidy up your bed
All your worksheets starts flying around
You're hoping to get an Medical Leave, so you'll have more time to do your projects
You don't bother if your room is neat anymore
You sleep at times like these... Not for one night, but many nights..
You don't have time to tidy up your bed
All your worksheets starts flying around
You're hoping to get an Medical Leave, so you'll have more time to do your projects
You don't bother if your room is neat anymore
You sleep at times like these... Not for one night, but many nights..CMSK project done, left with STMD and INMM. For your information, it's the "peak period" now for polytechnic students. Projects submission and exams...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I checked today; there's not much time left...
Nothing serious, it's just projects to hand up this Thursday and Friday. Oh gosh! Proposals, reports, screens shots and uncompleted projects! *Pulling my hair*
How I wished I was doing what I wanted, maybe doing those projects for some people or organisation I want to. What am I talking about? .........
I felt so tied up in Singapore, super tied up. So many constrains and bounded by rules we had to follow. I know there are rules to follow everywhere, anywhere. But won't things be different if... never mind... Exams, exams, projects, projects, test, test, interviews, interviews... When will this ever end? It will still carry on in the working world. Maybe if I had not chosen this course, it wouldn't have cause me so much "sufferings". "Fail your CMath this time and you're out of this course." What the... imagine getting kick out when you're half way into this course already. My family members are so gonna kill me. Skipped so many classes till I got multiple warning letters, Ahahaha..and I can still laught it off... :P
Will things be the same if I move off to else where, will things really change if I drop all this and start all over again? I don't wanna stay at where I am now... I'm a bird locked in a bird cage!!! Arg, let me out, let me out, let me out!! Ahahaha... Grace, chill it... just A FEW WEEKS left and it's 2 months of freedom!!
Dear Lord, you know what's going on inside me. You know what I really wanted and where I want to go... Please guide and walk with me...
Nothing serious, it's just projects to hand up this Thursday and Friday. Oh gosh! Proposals, reports, screens shots and uncompleted projects! *Pulling my hair*
How I wished I was doing what I wanted, maybe doing those projects for some people or organisation I want to. What am I talking about? .........
I felt so tied up in Singapore, super tied up. So many constrains and bounded by rules we had to follow. I know there are rules to follow everywhere, anywhere. But won't things be different if... never mind... Exams, exams, projects, projects, test, test, interviews, interviews... When will this ever end? It will still carry on in the working world. Maybe if I had not chosen this course, it wouldn't have cause me so much "sufferings". "Fail your CMath this time and you're out of this course." What the... imagine getting kick out when you're half way into this course already. My family members are so gonna kill me. Skipped so many classes till I got multiple warning letters, Ahahaha..and I can still laught it off... :P
Will things be the same if I move off to else where, will things really change if I drop all this and start all over again? I don't wanna stay at where I am now... I'm a bird locked in a bird cage!!! Arg, let me out, let me out, let me out!! Ahahaha... Grace, chill it... just A FEW WEEKS left and it's 2 months of freedom!!
Dear Lord, you know what's going on inside me. You know what I really wanted and where I want to go... Please guide and walk with me...
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
It was beautiful, sweet and all the words that can be use to describe happiness.
Stream of Praise (SOP) ended their Asia Tour in Singapore on the 13th of Aug, by now they should be home or somewhere they were heading to. Once again, they left deep footprints in my heart. Thank God for this year's tour; I was really blessed :) Hallelujah!
Let me have a quick update on what has been going for the past few days.
11 Aug: Cindy and I came out half an hour before 6pm and headed to the PLMC. The normal journey there will take at most half and hour, but because of the jam we were 45 minutes late! We arrived there and helped sell SOP's CD. We were new and it felt weird selling CDs for the first time. When the event was about to start, I notice that the Church hall was already filled! Boy, Cindy and I was so worried that we couldn't join in the worship. But thank God we manage to in the end. Haha, something funny happen; on;y the three of us knows. *Shhhh* We sat on the ground, but it was aye alright. We got the perfect view! The event ended and we continued selling CDs. It's funny how people will ask which CDs are better knowing that the asnwer will be, "All are nice to listen to lah!" We became live radio player, singing songs for the people who wants to know how the song sound like and have to recognise tunes when they humed it to us. We became professional CDs sellers overnight! Meet up with SOP's webmaster, he recognise me! Guess I'm really the cutest BBS members afterall; ahahah!! Went to Bedok for late dinner and saw Jesher and gang. It was Terence's birthday! Celebrated with dinner and had to go off cause it was really late.
12 Aug: Cindy and I went out to shop at Bugis street in the afternoon and at the same time looking for some small gifts. We went around Bugis street before we fixed our eyes on some small Singapore key chains. It was 4 for 10 bucks, a rip off for locals. So then, it was time to excercise my bargaining skills! "Aunty, I want to buy 25 of them (key chains), cheaper can or not? I buy 25 you know, a lot!" And the bargaining went on and on until we got 6 6 for 10 bucks, that makes 25 for 42 bucks. Still, I tried to bargain off that 2 bucks and make it a whole sum. In the end, I won the battle! My bargaining skills improved! But, I think those gifts are still expensive! But anyway, we only buy them once in a while for overseas friends. I hope they like them! After all the shopping in Bugis, we head back for a short while before setting of to another Church for SOP's event. We did what we did the night before and had the chance to worship again! This event was different from the others, there was an Encounter worship and a Celebration worship. I was torn apart by this two choices, but in the end I went for the Celebration service cause most of my Church mates were there. It was a great service and had a chance to catch up with Will. Continued to sell CDs after service and manage to pass the gifts to one of sister to pass to the rest. Thank God at the end of the day, a sister drove me and Cindy home!
13 Aug: Cindy woke up before I did! Haha.. Had to go Church that morning cause I am serving as a backup singer that day. Left after worship and head down to EXPO for SOP's event. Met Elim on the way and we exchanged a few words. It's been a year since I last saw her, I guess. Helped sell CDs and join in the worship once again. Came out during the sermon to help sell CDs. Packed up when the service was over and Sister Jie Lian treated the "kids" and a sister lunch near Eden's office. Went to Eden for a short rest before setting of to the next location for SOP's last event. We reached BC at around 5p.m and there were already people waiting to go in for service! Help sold CDs before joining the service again! This time, we were right in front again, but I sat on the chair while the rest on the floor. It was a great worship with God's presence in the midst of us. The day ended with chats with some SOP's members and help took photographs. Boy, I hope the pictures I took were alright. If any SOP members happens to read this, you guys can still edit the pictures in photoshop if the angle I took was off :P
I was very blessed during this year's tour. God kept talking to me and I'm glad I responded. During one of the song, Precious Cross, God said to me, "Don't walk back on the old path where you left. Don't walk back anymore." Then I realize the old me was long dead, why then am I walking back to my old path all the time? The old me is dead, DEAD!! I was given freedom from my past, why then am I holding back what I should let go? Thank you, Jesus. Plus, the last SOP's event made a huge difference in my life. Rev. Sandy was the worship leader that night, she was sitting at the back as a pianist. I looked at her many times and wondered why. Then, I realize.
Every one should be given a chance. Be it to serve in the Music ministry or to be a leader. I was given a chance when I was young to serve. Then I look at myself, what I have been struggling with. Many time I heard Lydia or other pastors saying that there's a need to train up new leaders to serve, but deep in me I was very unwilling. I gave excuses that non could pass the mark, but I knew that wasn't it. I admit I was afraid of letting go what I have, of passing on what I have learned because I was afraid that the others will be better than me. But I was all wrong. Like what the Bible mentioned, we shouldn’t hide the candle light but let it shine. The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they eventually surpass him or her in knowledge and ability, they are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players. Sitting there, I finally understood why I was struggling. I took a look at Rev. Sandy and the ones who were leading the service again, she’s the best conductor. Humble, with a heart to just want to serve God. She always has a lot for me to learn from. Sometimes, all we need is a chance. God gives chances, we should to. At the end of the day when I had a chance to interact with Rev. Sandy, her eyes made me understand why she is a great leader.
So, now it's back to school with projects to hand up and exams coming my way. Leading this sunday and I think this sunday is the debate? Oh gosh... lots to do. But nevermind, God is my strength!
Stream of Praise (SOP) ended their Asia Tour in Singapore on the 13th of Aug, by now they should be home or somewhere they were heading to. Once again, they left deep footprints in my heart. Thank God for this year's tour; I was really blessed :) Hallelujah!
Let me have a quick update on what has been going for the past few days.
11 Aug: Cindy and I came out half an hour before 6pm and headed to the PLMC. The normal journey there will take at most half and hour, but because of the jam we were 45 minutes late! We arrived there and helped sell SOP's CD. We were new and it felt weird selling CDs for the first time. When the event was about to start, I notice that the Church hall was already filled! Boy, Cindy and I was so worried that we couldn't join in the worship. But thank God we manage to in the end. Haha, something funny happen; on;y the three of us knows. *Shhhh* We sat on the ground, but it was aye alright. We got the perfect view! The event ended and we continued selling CDs. It's funny how people will ask which CDs are better knowing that the asnwer will be, "All are nice to listen to lah!" We became live radio player, singing songs for the people who wants to know how the song sound like and have to recognise tunes when they humed it to us. We became professional CDs sellers overnight! Meet up with SOP's webmaster, he recognise me! Guess I'm really the cutest BBS members afterall; ahahah!! Went to Bedok for late dinner and saw Jesher and gang. It was Terence's birthday! Celebrated with dinner and had to go off cause it was really late.
12 Aug: Cindy and I went out to shop at Bugis street in the afternoon and at the same time looking for some small gifts. We went around Bugis street before we fixed our eyes on some small Singapore key chains. It was 4 for 10 bucks, a rip off for locals. So then, it was time to excercise my bargaining skills! "Aunty, I want to buy 25 of them (key chains), cheaper can or not? I buy 25 you know, a lot!" And the bargaining went on and on until we got 6 6 for 10 bucks, that makes 25 for 42 bucks. Still, I tried to bargain off that 2 bucks and make it a whole sum. In the end, I won the battle! My bargaining skills improved! But, I think those gifts are still expensive! But anyway, we only buy them once in a while for overseas friends. I hope they like them! After all the shopping in Bugis, we head back for a short while before setting of to another Church for SOP's event. We did what we did the night before and had the chance to worship again! This event was different from the others, there was an Encounter worship and a Celebration worship. I was torn apart by this two choices, but in the end I went for the Celebration service cause most of my Church mates were there. It was a great service and had a chance to catch up with Will. Continued to sell CDs after service and manage to pass the gifts to one of sister to pass to the rest. Thank God at the end of the day, a sister drove me and Cindy home!
13 Aug: Cindy woke up before I did! Haha.. Had to go Church that morning cause I am serving as a backup singer that day. Left after worship and head down to EXPO for SOP's event. Met Elim on the way and we exchanged a few words. It's been a year since I last saw her, I guess. Helped sell CDs and join in the worship once again. Came out during the sermon to help sell CDs. Packed up when the service was over and Sister Jie Lian treated the "kids" and a sister lunch near Eden's office. Went to Eden for a short rest before setting of to the next location for SOP's last event. We reached BC at around 5p.m and there were already people waiting to go in for service! Help sold CDs before joining the service again! This time, we were right in front again, but I sat on the chair while the rest on the floor. It was a great worship with God's presence in the midst of us. The day ended with chats with some SOP's members and help took photographs. Boy, I hope the pictures I took were alright. If any SOP members happens to read this, you guys can still edit the pictures in photoshop if the angle I took was off :P
I was very blessed during this year's tour. God kept talking to me and I'm glad I responded. During one of the song, Precious Cross, God said to me, "Don't walk back on the old path where you left. Don't walk back anymore." Then I realize the old me was long dead, why then am I walking back to my old path all the time? The old me is dead, DEAD!! I was given freedom from my past, why then am I holding back what I should let go? Thank you, Jesus. Plus, the last SOP's event made a huge difference in my life. Rev. Sandy was the worship leader that night, she was sitting at the back as a pianist. I looked at her many times and wondered why. Then, I realize.
Every one should be given a chance. Be it to serve in the Music ministry or to be a leader. I was given a chance when I was young to serve. Then I look at myself, what I have been struggling with. Many time I heard Lydia or other pastors saying that there's a need to train up new leaders to serve, but deep in me I was very unwilling. I gave excuses that non could pass the mark, but I knew that wasn't it. I admit I was afraid of letting go what I have, of passing on what I have learned because I was afraid that the others will be better than me. But I was all wrong. Like what the Bible mentioned, we shouldn’t hide the candle light but let it shine. The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they eventually surpass him or her in knowledge and ability, they are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players. Sitting there, I finally understood why I was struggling. I took a look at Rev. Sandy and the ones who were leading the service again, she’s the best conductor. Humble, with a heart to just want to serve God. She always has a lot for me to learn from. Sometimes, all we need is a chance. God gives chances, we should to. At the end of the day when I had a chance to interact with Rev. Sandy, her eyes made me understand why she is a great leader.
So, now it's back to school with projects to hand up and exams coming my way. Leading this sunday and I think this sunday is the debate? Oh gosh... lots to do. But nevermind, God is my strength!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
So, we were at Sentosa soaking the sun the other day..Stream of Praise's first event tonight! Helped out in selling their CDs and just through that I learned a lot!
First: You got to know ALL the products that's on the table. Cause people will just pop by to ask you some questions
Second: Know all, or maybe MOST of the songs well. Cause there are a few people who actually came up front and humed a few tunes and we have to help them locate the songs they wanted.
Third: Know how to talk, so they will buy A LOT!
Forth: Good packing skills. Packing up takes a long time... Ahaha
One down and three more events to go!! Add oil!!
So glad that I can go in to worship today... :)
Friday, August 11, 2006
It's not a symbol of shame, but a symbol of victory
Crushed on the floor
YCKGH's youth! (Part of it)
L2R:Worship Leader, Pianist, Bassist
Oscar, the Church dogSunday, August 06, 2006
出发
简简单单的感觉最好。试过了很多不同的 blog skins， 简简单单的设计还是最美。
生命就也是如此。人的一生可以简简单单的过，但偏偏我们就喜欢把简单的东西复杂化；真是没事找是作！一天这样过去啦，明早又得回到自己很不愿意去的学校。上学，读书，考试，作业，开会，烦恼，压力。上学的生活就只如此吗？嗨。。。多么希望能赶快毕业，脱离苦海啊！可能我天生就不是读书的料吧。要我一整天在家或学校读书的话，我宁可一个星期不吃饭耶。。虽然我读书的成绩不差，但就是少了那古热诚！少说中三和中四那年我都是考前几名的耶。呵呵，那是成年往事了啦！
现读的网际网罗与多媒体发展系 (Internet and Multimedia development)，有好多好多看不懂的 codings 和 SQL codes! 说难也不是很难，是自己懒。不知不觉都读了一年半，还有一年半就毕业了。坚持下去吧。。
顿时间，赞美之泉的巡回下一站就要到本地了。一年的时间好快就过去了。好期待今年的敬拜与侍奉！
月底考试，希望不要重考！若没从考，我就能安心的享用我的假期啦！长长假期，好多事要作！
Don't understand Chinese? Learn it :)
Especially if you're a Chinese.
出发
背起眼泪 重新出发
从今天开始 再努力吧
虽然考验不会停止 我有信心能坚持
没有挫折能绊倒我 一定继续向前走
(c)
我想象有天我能卸下 沉重的包袱 将过去好好看清楚
心中没有所谓后悔失望 因为我早就知道我的方向
活在现在 心却期待
享受那每一分每一秒钟的未来
因此 我就小看今天所有的失败
因为我有你 的爱
Because of you Because of your love
Saturday, August 05, 2006
A trip to Sentosa
We re-acted out the scene from Passion of Christ at Merlion Park
We were bored, you see
Soaking the sun
Fake and real touristFriday, August 04, 2006
Breakthrough
I need breakthrough
Breakthrough
Serious
CHOSEN
I need breakthrough
Breakthrough
Serious
CHOSEN
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Not too long ago I was reading the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible and the word "meaningless" was repeated by the author many many times. I didn't understand what it was all about but I got the answer today.
"Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless if we did it just for the hype, if we just did it just as a performance... All is meaningless if God's name wasn't Glorified. "-- quoted from David's blog. It striked me when I read that line; how true it is! Now I finally understand what's the drain in me. Studying has become meaningless, because my results are not even glorifying God! All the projects that I do, assignments I rushed to complete are meaningless!
I need to find the "meaning" back to my life. STUDYING, the toughest period in my whole life :P And I just can't help wondering why some people are so passionate into studying? Maybe that's there passion but not mine. I know it myself, if it's my passion; I'll do what it takes. OBEDIENCE.
Work and work and work, toil and toil and toil, suffer and suffer and suffer; all will be meaningless if it's not in God's will and purpose. I don't want to take the long way home, Pappa :)
"Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless if we did it just for the hype, if we just did it just as a performance... All is meaningless if God's name wasn't Glorified. "-- quoted from David's blog. It striked me when I read that line; how true it is! Now I finally understand what's the drain in me. Studying has become meaningless, because my results are not even glorifying God! All the projects that I do, assignments I rushed to complete are meaningless!
I need to find the "meaning" back to my life. STUDYING, the toughest period in my whole life :P And I just can't help wondering why some people are so passionate into studying? Maybe that's there passion but not mine. I know it myself, if it's my passion; I'll do what it takes. OBEDIENCE.
Work and work and work, toil and toil and toil, suffer and suffer and suffer; all will be meaningless if it's not in God's will and purpose. I don't want to take the long way home, Pappa :)
