The Grace in Grace

I've crossed the 2 weeks mark and embarking on my 3rd week. The weather has gotten cooler, hallelujah to that! The sun is still out, so one can afford to sunbath and not sweat buckets. Singapore should be like that, adds on to that Christmas mood.

Life in Cambodia is rather slow paced and I'm quite enjoying it. I hope it doesn't turn into laziness when I return to Singapore :P I strongely believe that when you're in that country, you got to experience the culture, food and everything. Eat like them, travel like them and sometimes behaving like them helps. My main kind of public transport in Cambodia is motordop AKA motor-taxi. So, you just stop any motor cycle and you hop on. Aliens, please ask and name your price before you ride off. I'm kind of eating like them too, tried most of the street food and I can only be thankful there's has been no major stomach protest. Only once, when Sarah brought stuff to cook from the market. She's fine, but I threw up every bits of it.

So, my Singaporean roomie came a few days ago. At one point I was looking forward to her coming, "yayy, someone to talk to or go shopping with!" Now, it felt like I'm better off alone. I can change whenever I want, sleep at whatever time, have the lights on till I wake up to switch them off, throw my smelly clothes all around and most importantly have 2 single beds to myself. Kind of disappointing to have a rather typical Singaporean. Going to supermarket with her means taking a slow tuk tuk instead of motordops. Anyway, if she's willing to pay 2/3 of it, don't mind. I can see the disgust in her eyes whenever I asked if she wants to try the street food. Hah! Very typical Singaporean traveller. She's like Aunt Helen. Please, I cannot deal with 2 Aunt Helens in my life. I hope the next roomie is better. Actually, judging from the name.. I shouldn't expect much. Hah, but who cares. I'm here in Cambodia not for the roomies.

Then this morning we have a Singaporean family come join us for devotion. Very typical Singporean family at the breakfast table, spoilt kids with helpers in the house. If the Dad and Son didn't dive, we would have much to talk about. So yeah, it's proven.. When you meet another diver somewhere, it's like running into family members. Hah! So I have enticed them to go down to Sihanoukville with me! Thank God I wore the dive shirt today.

Gloria Ngoi, silhanoukville is waiting for us! Keep thinking of the 25 cents beer and the food. I'll be going down for a check-out for us first, so I can pamper you like a queen (brought to you by Loo's PA service) and then you can get the "alone" time you wanted. How's that plan? Cool? You got to listen to that small voice telling you to scoot over to Cambodia you know? I know you're missing my PA service too. For a limited time you can get it out of Singapore too!

So, what should I have for lunch today? I hope tonight's dinner will be good :)

I am literally melting in Cambodia. The heat is insane.. you need like SPF 1000 to keep the sun away. All the liters of water you drink wouldn't come out as urine, they will come out as sweat, every minute. It's the second day and if the heat goes on, I may just lose weight due to all the water lost. For the pass 10 minutes sitting in the internet bar, the sweat just refused to stop dripping. Thank God I decided to not pack the jacket in..

Everything is going well here. Cambodia changed a lot since the last time I was here, a little more advanced. I can't believe Singapore is wet, I haven seen a drop of water fall from the sky. Oh well, it's only been 2 days... I should have brought all my dry fit t-shirts..

Once again, God proved to me that He is more than enough for me. He blessed me in abundance for this trip. Overflowing of love and blessing.

Girlfriend came to send me off, even though she had an insanely long day ahead. I appreciate every bit of that, sweets! Having you wake up at 4ish in the morning and having to run camp after that... I feel the loooooove. Thank the pastors for coming over too. They could have literally camped at the airport that day..

Alright, I shall update soonish..

H-O-T..

Contact me via my cambodian number. I will still check my singapore line from time to time..

So... see you in 5 weeks time! I'll try and update... try...

I should have known better
That people fail you at times
I should have known better
That promises are fragile
I should have known better
That certains said weren't exactly what it was meant
I should have known better
That someone you wished will be there for you
Can't always be there
I should have known better
That people don't always appreciate
I should have known better
That certain things don't change
I should have known better
That what is mention today
May mean nothing tomorrow
I should have known better
That I couldn't expect the same
I should have known better...


Maybe I'm sensitive, maybe I took it too hard. But the reaction I get... I should have known better. I don't know when to take it seriously or when you're just saying for the sake of saying it. I'm feeling quite alone. Maybe because I haven been to Church for the past 2 weeks,or maybe the people I see these 2 weeks were the same, maybe it's just me again.


5 more days to Cambodia. It felt like I'm dealing with it alone. The family weren't as anxious like the last time, people doesn't seem as excited.. ah, here she goes for another mission trip again..


I just got my tickets booked moments ago, source through some English games and worksheets yesterday and what's left was packing and preparing for music lesson. It left me hanging midway when I sense reluctancy.. maybe I should have known better that it might not happen.. I really should have known better. I hate asking for help when it felt like I'm forcing them to help.. Maybe it's the pride, maybe people really didn't want to help, maybe what was said was just to brush me off.


I should have known better. How come majority of the people doesn't seem to agree or see eye to eye to the things I do. Not that they have to, but it's only human to feel this way.. Why can't I have a bunch of people that shares the same passion.. why can't I have that one friend who would understand how it felt.. why can't I have that one friend who will be there.. why can't I have that one friend who would save me from the snowy mountain like those in discovery channel.. why can't I have that one best friend who would have me as a best friend too.. I know I'm not exactly the best of friend one could ask for.. but all these years I've been asking. And everytime I thought there is that one best friend, it either turns out to be not or it's all one sided.. I'm kind of sick of giving full attention, love, care, concerns and whatnots.. why am I going through this again. Smack me, someone..


I don't deny that I'm affected, as much as I tried not to. I'm trying hard to be that someone.. but I'm not, maybe not yet. Maybe I haven master the art of letting go. Maybe just a little.. And I really shouldn't be expecting that breakfast and people on Monday.. I should be less disappointed like this.. I hope..