The Grace in Grace

Level 1
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done drugs
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank alcohol
SO FAR: 1
Level 2
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
SO FAR: 2
Level 3
( ) snuck out of parent’s house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date
SO FAR: 3
Level 4
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die
SO FAR : 6
Level 5
( ) had/have a crush on one of ur MYSPACE friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking
SO FAR: 7
Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been mosh pitting
SO FAR: 8
Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
(x) love someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
SO FAR: 11
Level 8
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
SO FAR: 15
Level 9
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
SO FAR: 18
Level 10
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
SO FAR: 20
Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
(x) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer
SO FAR: 24
Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
( ) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle accident
SO FAR: 26
Level 13
( ) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 28
Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
SO FAR: 31
Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying
SO FAR: 36
Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
SO FAR: 41
Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain
SO FAR: 44
Level 18
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
SO FAR: 46
Level 19
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
SO FAR: 48
Level 20
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed “penis” in class
( ) ate dog food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
SO FAR: 48
Level 21
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have/had a little black dress
( ) had sex in a bathroom
( ) had sex in a park
( ) had sex in a car
( ) had sex in your parents room.
S0 FAR: 49
Level 22
( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer
( ) kissed a fish
( ) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) Sat on a roof top
SO FAR: 49
Level 23
( ) had sex at a church
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
So FAR: 51
Level 24
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had/been in a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
SO FAR: 53
Level 25
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have/had more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) gone streaking
( ) been in jail
SO FAR: 54
Level 26
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) been told you’re hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
SO FAR: 57
Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
SO FAR: 58
Level 28
( ) mooned/flashed someone
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone’s name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house
SO FAR: 60
Level 29
(x) Rode a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
( ) had a cavity
(x) Black-mailed someone
(x) been black mailed
SO FAR: 63
Level 30
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
TOTAL: 66

I got tagged!! My apologies couldn't post my tag in time, internet was down for a few days due to the earthquake in Taiwan. Many people wondered how come, well it got to do with some underground connections. It took me awhile to understand what "tag" means.. Oh... now I know.. this is the game: you make a list of 5 things not many people know about you. Then you tag 5 other people to do the same!
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1) I'm afriad of those machines that cuts grass. If you know what I mean, those long long cutters that cuts grass and bits of grass will fly about CUTTING people. Whenever I sees them, I pratically ran away.. YES, ran away.

2) I am both a morning and a night person. Morning person when I was out of my home; I wake up very early and at the slightest sound made. At home, I wake up like after 1p.m. Even the fire alarm can't wake me up. Of course if there's event, I still am able to wake up early.. Just that I allow myself 1 hour to get out of bed.

3) Once, with a friend, we sneeked into the teachers' office and played a prank on a teacher. We emptied super glues onto her chair (Hoping that she is stupid enough to sit on it), glued her shoes to the ground and... can't remember. After that incident, the teachers' office has a CCTV installed.

4) Whenever you see me yawning non-stop out of the blues, that can only means that I'm not feeling too well. Don't know why, but I will start to yawn when I don't feel right suddenly.

5) I love to take long rides! There's a reason why I don't like MRT rides and prefered buses.. Don't know why, but I just enjoyed those long rides on the bus. I get to see the surrounding, I get to listen to my MP3, to think and even to sleep. Whenever I'm feeling down, taking long rides help me cool down. BUT, I dislike long plane journey.. All I see is clouds and the aircon is not cold enough..

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Now, who should I tag??

1) Chang Chi ( Wahaha! You're tagged!)
2) Azri (Cat, not sure if you still do read blogs.. but you're tagged!)
3) Jia Ying ( Oops, I know you read mine sometimes.. Up to you if you wanna continure this game)
4) Lydia (Double oops...)
5) Reuben (Surprise!!)
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Christmas event is officially over and all I could say was, "Good job!" It was better than last year, according to Si Yun. Last year, we had 0 people accept Christ but this year we had more than 10! The songs sung were better, the program was better, the t-shirts were nicer... Glory to God! Tears just welled up in my eyes when I heard that there were people receiving Christ.. After all the time and effort we put it, it was worth it. "Winning one soul over was like winning the whole world"; now I get it.

After the trip to Malaysia, I discovered that I'm starting to like young children now. I use to dislike them; noisy and helpless! But the recent trip changes everything! Just because young children is quite helpless by themselves; I have the responsibilities to take care of them if they are with me.

It gently touched my heart when Mei held on to my hand tightly when I reached Church today. All I did was to call out to her, she ran to me and grab my hand. I didn't expect that to happen, she used to such a bossy and irritating little girl. Also during the trip, Mei held on to my hands most of the time we were walking. I tried to be funny and let go of hers many times, in turn she quickly grab my hand back. When I tried to resist, she gave me an innocent look of a helpless girl. She may be irritating at times, but she sure is cute. Spending my time with Qi Qi and Mei made me realise how much God love us and how helpless we were without Him. Qi Qi was always looking for me while we were at the waterfall. He didn't want anyone else to take the slide with except me and called out to me when he has trouble getting out of the water. It's cute when he calls out "Grace Jie Jie, help me!". This is so much like us calling out to God.

Another thing I discovered. We often need assurence from God when it comes to certain big event, just like the following event that I'm going to describe. When we reached the Waterfall, Qi Qi came running to me and asked me to be his partner in the water. I agreed. He confirmed with me many many times until we finally reach the water. In the water, he keep making sure that I was there and even hold on to my hand, not letting a chance for me to run away! Haha, so much like us!!

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Lesson learn, everyday!

I'm back from Kota Tinggi, and in summary the trip was alright. Cut off those "behind-the-back" gossip and "smiles", it should have been fine. There'a a reason why I choose to take the car on the way back. What's the point of joining the group to return when 4 makes perfect and 5 is odd and maybe even left out? This trip, I had a lot of time to interact with the younger ones and people not from my usual class. They may be young, but they sure knows a lot and one thing.. They are sincere. Had a great time playing the slides with Qi Qi and Mei... Feels good to be a big sister to someone young! Guess it fills the gap of not having any younger siblings to take care of! My apologies of bullying them also! Ha!!
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Maybe it's me or my brain. Somehow.. just somehow... people have to "make fun" and "talk behind me". Why? Oh well.. I tried to figure that out when the trip started and haven got an answer when the trip ended. Had to struggle with myself and reality. Maybe it's just me thinking too much. Why do I care of what they are thinking about me, what they are talking about behind my back and what jokes have they came out of? Lord, I just want to make You happy. Maybe, it's satan trying to be funny with me. Somehow, just somehow... I still get the "left out" feelings once in a while.

It'll be good if I can conpletely ignore those feelings and thoughts of mine that's bugging me. But hey, I like to be in groups sometimes also. I don't mind sitting alone, don't mind eating alone, don't mind not talking... but I mind when people I thought who are friends talk behind me. That's one point I have always been trying to overcome. Tried telling myself it's not me, but I know.. and I can feel. I'm human. It's scary how one is smily in front of you and when you turn your back, poison shot out from his/her mouth. Hah.

Alright. Forgive and forget. Maybe it's too long and a break is needed. I prayed that my attachment can be finalise.

It's my blog, my thoughts.. I just want to vent it out.
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Pictures!!
Mei and Me. BULLY!
Qi and me. BANANA!
Canopy bed
Oh yeah.. It rained every day while I was in Kota Tinggi. Lucky us, the rain come and go.. While we were at the waterfall, the sky was still alright. Singapore has been raining since Sunday! It's cold.. even I had to wear a jacket and off the fan!

Christmas event this Saturday!! Holler me alright!!

I'll be in Kota Tinggi from Sunday to Tuesday. I sure do hope this trip will be enjoyable and fun. A time to bond, a time to remember the past and a break from the stress!

I've yet to pack my bag.

Someone is offering me a job.. By using my name to register a phone line for a company and I get paid $1300 a month, bills paid by company. Can it be trusted? I doubt so... But that friend of mine keep pestering me...

Any advice? How can it be so good?

I do it every time;
I say I won't then I do it again.
Though I apologies,
ask for forgiveness
The cycle gets repeated once again.

I'm sorry Lord,
For these tears
I've shed a thousand times.
I'm sorry Lord,
That every time the cycle gets repeated once again,
Yet again.

I just can't break it;
The cycle that repeats itself.
I need some help;
I need some guidance Lord,
The cycle's blocking me from your deep love.

I'm sorry Lord,
For these tears I've shed a thousand times.
I'm sorry Lord,
That every time the cycle gets repeated once again,
Yet again.

I feel ashamed when I'm with You,
It breaks my heart to know I'm lying to your face.
I feel guilty on the inside,
but innocent on the outside.
I don't know what to do...
The cycle's wearing me down.
I'm going round in circles.
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I thought I had beaten you.
I thought you were gone.
I was doing so well.
Now I feel so withdrawn.

I've yielded once again,
To your lies and your lure.
I feel regret;
all alone,
And I’m no longer pure.

Run away from myself,
I wish that I could.
To give up this sin,
That obstructs me from good.

I know that His blood
Will cover this stain,
But the guilt and the scars
In my mind still remain.
He always forgives me;
No questions asked.
Yet it's still hard for me
To depart from my past.
Forgive me, Lord,
For not forgiving myself.

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I'm sorry, God. I shouldn't have... How can I say I want to reach out when I'm such... How can I say I'm Your child when I'm such...

What should I do, what can I do and how should I be... Run away if I could; but it's not the solution. Shut myself if I could, still that's not a solution. Talk to me through Your words. Discipline me...

Here are two wonderful stories I wanna share.. It's touching and meaningful. Take time to read...
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The Smell of God
A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. Still groggy from surgery,her husband David held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news.

That afternoon of March 10 , 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver the couple's new daughter, Danae Lu Blessing. At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound and nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. "I don't think she is going to make it," he said, as kindly as he could. "There's only a 10% chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one."

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Danae would likely face is she survived. She would never walk. She would never talk. She would probably be blind. She would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation and on and on.
"No! No!" was a Diana could say. She and David with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day that would have a daughter to become a family of four. Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away.

Through the dark hours of morning as Danae held onto life by the thinnest thread, Diana slipped in and out of drugged sleep, growing more and more determined that their tiny daughter would live-and live to be a happy, healthy young girl. But David, fully awake and listening to additional dire details of their daughter's chances of ever leaving the hospital alive, much less healthy, knew he must confront his wife with the inevitable.
"David walked in and said that we needed to talk about making funeral arrangements," Diana remembers. "I felt so bad for him because he was doing everything, trying to include me in what was going on, but I just wouldn't listen - I couldn't listen. I said, "No, that is not going to happen, no way! I don't care what the doctors say Danae is not going to die! One day she will be just fine, and she will be coming home with us!"

As if willed to live by Diana's determination, Danae clung to life - a marvel her miniature body could endure. But, as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Danae's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially "raw," the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort - so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Danae struggled alone beneath the ultra-violet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl.

There was never a moment when Danae suddenly grew stronger. But, as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.
At last, when Danae turned two months old, her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time. And two months later-though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero
Danae went home from the hospital, just as he mother had predicted.

Today, five years later, Danae is a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for like. She shows no signs, whatsoever, of any mental or physical impairments. Simply, she is everything a little girl can be and more-but that happy ending is far from the end of her story.

One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Danae was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Danae was chattering non-stop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent.

Hugging her arms across her chest, Danae asked, "Do you smell that?" Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain."
Danae closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell that?" Once again her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain. "Still caught in the moment, Danae shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, "No, it smells like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest."

Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Danae then happily hopped down to play with some other children. Thinking back on her daughter's word's it confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along. During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Danae on His chest - and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

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He's watching
Bob Richards, the former pole-vault champion, shares a moving story about a skinny young boy who loved football with all his heart.

Practice after practice, he eagerly gave everything he had. But being half the size of the other boys, he got absolutely nowhere. At all the games, this hopeful athlete sat on the bench and hardly ever played.

This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to.

But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed neither a practice nor a game but remained a benchwarmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on." Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did.

The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul to every practice, and at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed.

The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in a game.

It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big playoff game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and he became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come back to the game on Saturday."

Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play today," said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said.” You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him. He ran, he passed, blocked, and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, this kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you never heard.

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that this young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone The coach came to him and said,” Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"

He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

Like the athlete's father, God is always there cheering for us. He's always reminding us to go on. He's even offering us His hand for He knows what is best, and is willing to give us what we need and not simply what we want. GOD has never missed a single game. What a joy to know that life is meaningful if lived for the Highest. Live for HIM for He's watching us in the game of life!

We Are The Reason
Words by David Meece and Dwight Liles, Music by David Meece

As little children we would dream of Christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

[C]And we were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts
And giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love

[B]I finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him
For Him
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Christmas is drawing real near and I could tell when people around me started to sing Christmas songs. Most of the time is about the red-nosed dear, the big red guy and what 12 days of Christmas... Sing "We are the Reason" this Christmas, it will add on more meaning :)

These few days have been staying in Church for the coming Christmas event.. First few times when we go through the songs weeks ago, I thought the songs were "normal". But as we sing over and over again each week, I was gradually touched by them. Why did I take such a long time to be touched by the lyrics and tunes? Well, maybe we sang them too many times before and didn't really think about what the lyrics meant. I was especially touched by "We were the Reason" and "Quan Xin De Ni"..
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Come on fellow Church mates, we are gonna bring the real Christmas meaning to the world! Add more oil, we will make it through.












TERM TEST

Friday and Saturday; sing, sing, sing, play, play, play. Now, my hands are too tired to type. SERIOUS, my hands are telling me "let me go..."

Christmas event is in less then 2 weeks, we only had 2 more practice before the event. PLEASE, pray for us. Pray for our health, voice, hands, head, eyes, legs... everything. Decorations also...

Going to Malaysia with Sunday School next week, a break from term test and practices! Talking about term test, my paper is on Monday and I studied only... 4 slides out our... NEVER MIND.

Hey, if you are interested about my church's christmas event, hollar me and I'll bring you there. It's on the 23rd December, 7pm. Transport provided.. Food provided..

SLEEP. STUDY.

OSIP/SIP briefing. It just occurs to me that I can try applying for an intern position on board Doulos. Well, let's see.

It appears that I'm always walking alone, eating alone, reading alone. At lease I don't talk to myself :P Hey, come on.. What's wrong with being alone? Besides I'm not really alone.. if you know what I mean. Yeah, sometimes I like to be in groups but I like alone time also.

Quit being lazy, Grace.

Term test next week! Three papers and holiday start. During the holiday, I'll have to prepare for OSIP/SIP application and resume.

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Someone once told me that.

The year is coming to an end soon. 2006, full of ups and downs. Time sure flies, January 2006 seem like yesterday. So, 2 more weeks to Christmas and about 3 weeks more till New Year!

My plans for 2007? I better start thinking now. But in my schedule now are:
1) ShangHai study trip in April
2) Doulos STEP program
3) OSIP/SIP
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Every day or every month I'm counting down to my graduation. Can't wait to get out of school and embrace the world! Of course, the world isn't as nice as what everyone thought it is. But I trust that God will lead and guide me.
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Ah~ Life is good.

Grandma TALK2

Grandma TALK!

Saturday was well spend. Finally for one weekend I'm free and able to spend some quality time with Grandma; she's happy too! Went out with her, bought things and went down to Macdonald for ice cream. I introduced her to Chocolate Sundae and she simply love it... It's cute watching her finish up her ice cream. Loving her more and more each day!



Just a little time together...

Time check; it's 4.05AM now. Why ain't I in bed?!

So, WAD project submission date is pushed back. What's left? 4 - 5 term test papers, 2 quiz, 1 interview and 1 project.

Didn't went to school on Thursday. So, what reason did I come up with this time? Actually I thought of a lot, but I decided to just use my original.. "Don't feel like going"

What's with me!?

Go to school, Grace!
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Christmas event coming, what am I doing? Am I contributing? The designs I submitted didn't make the pass mark.. other then singing, what am I doing?! See others running about, rushing this and that.. and me?! I'm there.. SINGING! WAH!!!! Oh yeah, I just thought of one.. I am praying! YES!!

We need lots of prayers! Do pray for us!!
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