Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Back.
I'm back from Kota Tinggi, and in summary the trip was alright. Cut off those "behind-the-back" gossip and "smiles", it should have been fine. There'a a reason why I choose to take the car on the way back. What's the point of joining the group to return when 4 makes perfect and 5 is odd and maybe even left out? This trip, I had a lot of time to interact with the younger ones and people not from my usual class. They may be young, but they sure knows a lot and one thing.. They are sincere. Had a great time playing the slides with Qi Qi and Mei... Feels good to be a big sister to someone young! Guess it fills the gap of not having any younger siblings to take care of! My apologies of bullying them also! Ha!!
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Maybe it's me or my brain. Somehow.. just somehow... people have to "make fun" and "talk behind me". Why? Oh well.. I tried to figure that out when the trip started and haven got an answer when the trip ended. Had to struggle with myself and reality. Maybe it's just me thinking too much. Why do I care of what they are thinking about me, what they are talking about behind my back and what jokes have they came out of? Lord, I just want to make You happy. Maybe, it's satan trying to be funny with me. Somehow, just somehow... I still get the "left out" feelings once in a while.
It'll be good if I can conpletely ignore those feelings and thoughts of mine that's bugging me. But hey, I like to be in groups sometimes also. I don't mind sitting alone, don't mind eating alone, don't mind not talking... but I mind when people I thought who are friends talk behind me. That's one point I have always been trying to overcome. Tried telling myself it's not me, but I know.. and I can feel. I'm human. It's scary how one is smily in front of you and when you turn your back, poison shot out from his/her mouth. Hah.
Alright. Forgive and forget. Maybe it's too long and a break is needed. I prayed that my attachment can be finalise.
It's my blog, my thoughts.. I just want to vent it out.
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Pictures!!
Mei and Me. BULLY!
Qi and me. BANANA!
Canopy bed
Oh yeah.. It rained every day while I was in Kota Tinggi. Lucky us, the rain come and go.. While we were at the waterfall, the sky was still alright. Singapore has been raining since Sunday! It's cold.. even I had to wear a jacket and off the fan!
Christmas event this Saturday!! Holler me alright!!
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Maybe it's me or my brain. Somehow.. just somehow... people have to "make fun" and "talk behind me". Why? Oh well.. I tried to figure that out when the trip started and haven got an answer when the trip ended. Had to struggle with myself and reality. Maybe it's just me thinking too much. Why do I care of what they are thinking about me, what they are talking about behind my back and what jokes have they came out of? Lord, I just want to make You happy. Maybe, it's satan trying to be funny with me. Somehow, just somehow... I still get the "left out" feelings once in a while.
It'll be good if I can conpletely ignore those feelings and thoughts of mine that's bugging me. But hey, I like to be in groups sometimes also. I don't mind sitting alone, don't mind eating alone, don't mind not talking... but I mind when people I thought who are friends talk behind me. That's one point I have always been trying to overcome. Tried telling myself it's not me, but I know.. and I can feel. I'm human. It's scary how one is smily in front of you and when you turn your back, poison shot out from his/her mouth. Hah.
Alright. Forgive and forget. Maybe it's too long and a break is needed. I prayed that my attachment can be finalise.
It's my blog, my thoughts.. I just want to vent it out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pictures!!
Mei and Me. BULLY!
Qi and me. BANANA!
Canopy bed
Oh yeah.. It rained every day while I was in Kota Tinggi. Lucky us, the rain come and go.. While we were at the waterfall, the sky was still alright. Singapore has been raining since Sunday! It's cold.. even I had to wear a jacket and off the fan!Christmas event this Saturday!! Holler me alright!!
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 12/20/2006 12:44:00 AM
