Friday, March 24, 2006
Haha, I'm inside "The Coolest BBS Member" contest! Well, not a contest, just a poll topic. But I was shock when I saw my name; poor Arfa was sulking when he's name wasn't there. LOL, don't worry it's just another topic for fun! If you really wanna know why, approach Chang Chi!
Finished off my last sup paper today; don't wanna talk about it. *Sheesh*
Finally manage to type out the meeting minutes ans just got to know got to prepare quite a lot for fellowhship this Saturday; talking about Christian Character. Well, I did my research just now; what's left is to sort them out and put it in my own words.
Remember that I bought a pain killer cream for my Mom? Well, when I went home and gave it to her, she just throw it aside and say that's not what she need. I just walked off feeling hurt. It's like she never really care about the things I gave her, even when it comes to food!So much for me trying to care and love her once again. But still, seeing her.. made my heart aches. I don't know but I can't help feeling sorry for my parents! But it's like "WHAT?" Feeling sorry for them, but they are my parents! I don't know why, but this feeling have been in me for many years.
Somehow I feel that I'll be going away from them, not be by their side. And before I leave, I just want to give them the best that I can give; Jesus' love. Trying so hard to bring them to church and praying for them. Lord, just before You call me out; I just want my parents to be home with You. At lease they won't be lonely without me around.
I remembered once Mom told me Dad came home drunk and hug my pillows to sleep; crying. He was crying, "My girl is gonna come home soon..." So, it shows how much he misses me while I was away for a long time? I stayed at Grandma's place during my O level years and come home only once a week for pocket money then. But somehow, it's like... No matter how much love they show me or care for me now.. it's like I couldn't accept it. Inside me is telling them, "Don't treat me so well, I would only feel awful and more sorry for you all."
I don't know why. I had a dream last night, I dreamt that I found my real mother! Oh, you don't want to know who that "Mother" was! It was funny when woke up and remembered her face; anyway couldn't be her!
Well, if it's true.. I would like to know who she is one day too.. Maybe there's a father for me to find out also, who knows?
But I know I got a Father that's so real and always there: God!
Finished off my last sup paper today; don't wanna talk about it. *Sheesh*
Finally manage to type out the meeting minutes ans just got to know got to prepare quite a lot for fellowhship this Saturday; talking about Christian Character. Well, I did my research just now; what's left is to sort them out and put it in my own words.
Remember that I bought a pain killer cream for my Mom? Well, when I went home and gave it to her, she just throw it aside and say that's not what she need. I just walked off feeling hurt. It's like she never really care about the things I gave her, even when it comes to food!So much for me trying to care and love her once again. But still, seeing her.. made my heart aches. I don't know but I can't help feeling sorry for my parents! But it's like "WHAT?" Feeling sorry for them, but they are my parents! I don't know why, but this feeling have been in me for many years.
Somehow I feel that I'll be going away from them, not be by their side. And before I leave, I just want to give them the best that I can give; Jesus' love. Trying so hard to bring them to church and praying for them. Lord, just before You call me out; I just want my parents to be home with You. At lease they won't be lonely without me around.
I remembered once Mom told me Dad came home drunk and hug my pillows to sleep; crying. He was crying, "My girl is gonna come home soon..." So, it shows how much he misses me while I was away for a long time? I stayed at Grandma's place during my O level years and come home only once a week for pocket money then. But somehow, it's like... No matter how much love they show me or care for me now.. it's like I couldn't accept it. Inside me is telling them, "Don't treat me so well, I would only feel awful and more sorry for you all."
I don't know why. I had a dream last night, I dreamt that I found my real mother! Oh, you don't want to know who that "Mother" was! It was funny when woke up and remembered her face; anyway couldn't be her!
Well, if it's true.. I would like to know who she is one day too.. Maybe there's a father for me to find out also, who knows?
But I know I got a Father that's so real and always there: God!
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 3/24/2006 02:02:00 AM
