Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I think for a moment in life you will wonder who you really are, what you are meant to be and why you are going through certain phrases in life. Sometimes I'm wondering, sometimes I'm confused, sometimes it's frustrating.The Bible gives us clear answers that we are God's children. I'm His beloved, I'm His most precious, I am the apple of His eye. But seriously, sometimes it all seems like words to me. Yes, there are times I really do feel very precious to Him; but this world is so polluting.. How can I remain precious?
God knows my thoughts, He knows everything that's going on. EVERYTHING. Come to think of it, it's scary. There's nothing to hide from God even though I want to.
Oh God, you must be really grieved to hear and see what's inside of me. You are righteous , how can you stand me? You are pure and holy, how can you stand listening to me? You are the almighty one, why didn't you strike me down?
All because You love me too much. God, teach me how to love You as much. Though it's not possible, I can never love You like You love me; but I just want to love You more.
Lord, let me not toy with sin. Let me not fall into temptations. Let me remain strong and steadfast. Hold me and pull me through.
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I wrote a letter to J today. It will never be delivered, but I felt so much better writing all the thoughts down. I tore the letter up in the end; may "it" be gone with the letter. One of the reason for leaving is because of you. And I'm glad I left, else it would have gone rather deep. God showed me so many sights that He's not approving. And I'm only glad that I didn't ignore them. God, You're a Father that loves and discipline.
Thanks for the memories thought. I'm sure there's a reason for it. One day it might just become a testimony I can share about :)
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 7/23/2008 05:18:00 PM
