The Grace in Grace

How I torment tuition kid

Gave tuition today, and here's what I did to her. LOL

Finally I collected my books from Kino and had just enough money to pay for them. Here's my collection of Ellen DeGeneres' books. Finished one and two more to go. It's weird, I hated reading when I was younger but pick them up when I am older. Does that means I'm gonna have a book club in 20 years time? In case you want to know the titles: Love, Ellen, The Funny Thing is, My point and I do have one. 4 hours of WAD and did it killed me! Guess it will only gets tougher as the weeks goes by. Drop by Tampines Mall and collected Grandma's birthday gift; I like it myself. Guess I'll be going back there in time to come! It good to have personalized gift and not just something that's taken right from the shelf. So, after Tampines I'm off to Orchard. I was kinda confused with the direction I should go but somehow manage to find Ngee Ann City. Then, when I reach Ngee Ann it's another confusion to me. I got lost in the bookstore itself and had to spent several minutes finding my way to the reservation counter.

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Lalalalala, I'm happy that I finally got my hands on the books that I ordered from US! Took a walk along Orchard road... (Alright, I lost my way again). Manage to reach home soon enough to pass the gift to Grandma. Boy, did she love it!

So, there's GCC grooming workshop tomorrow and I am appointed as the camera woman. I don't mind doing such thing, it's part of my passion.. It makes a difference.
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I just got my pay from teaching tuition and I'm broke already! 52 bucks on bus concession, 25 bucks on Grandma's gift, 10 bucks for MRT fare, 49.50 for the books. Bread and water.

I had this thought running in my head and I thought, why not blog it out!

Many times we kept the truth to ourselves because we keep thinking that once the truth is spelled out; someone is gonna get hurt. There's a saying that "The truth always hurt." I guess it did make some sense; but isn't it through pain we learn? We only know how painful it was to fall off a bike until we done so ourselves!

We think too much at times and in other, we think too little. I wish I could carry out my thought just like that and at the same time not hurting anyone; which is almost impossible!

Here's what had happened since my last blog entry.Here I am at Vivocity attending the S2006 volunteer dinner.The gift bag that was given to each of usInside: A S2006 T-shirt, limited edition EZ-link card and a badgeHad chalet before school re-opens. Here's the chefts adding some taste to the chickens. Boy, did I pay after that for torturing the chickens!




I was kinda excited when Lydia opened up the sambal chille. I didn't know it will burn my hands after mixing it with the chikens.Here's grandma celebrating her birthday in Church---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pictures says it all! What happened for the passed week and maybe it helped conveyed some feelings also. So, I'm back in school already and still tuning back to the "school mode". It feels like holiday never started and ended.

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Home---Michael Buble


Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

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Where is HOME? Home is in Heaven; the perfect answer that Christians will give. But HOME to me now is not Singapore or Malaysia. Actually I don't even know where is it. I dread living in Singapore, I dread living in one place all my life; that's why I want to leave and start fresh. Easy said, but it will never be easy. Leave your house, leave your friends and leave the life that you have been living with. But the good thing about leaving is; you're starting everything new.

Good bye, Singapore. In a few years time.

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Life's too calm.

Changi Chalet

If you haven notice, there's a disclaimer on the right-hand side of my blog. "All that I post on this blog are based on my personal views. It does not represent the views of my Church, friends, family or any other people or organizations. Please do not be critical as it's purely Grace's view and experiences!" All comments, pictures, and videos posted does not represent the views of everyone or have anything to do with everyone. So if there are things not suiting your flavor of Religion, beliefs or even you, my apologies that I can meet your need. Therefore, when you visit MY blog, please do not be critical because it just represents the view of Grace. FORTUNATELY, I am imperfect!

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Internet domain is always that complicating and dangerous. What to blog, what not to blog. And when you blog, you got to look out for some "police officers" that is out to book a ticket.

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Anyway, I watched Here and Now on youtube last night! Someone actually uploaded the whole show! I totally agree with Ellen when she talks about the track in the airport that carries you to the boarding gate! She touched on so many things in our life that we didn't have time to notice and laugh it all out! The movies, the toilet, the airport... and procastinating! Her topic was procastination and indeed she achieved that! She lived up the name of being "The funniest person in America". Besides laughting matters, she touched on something that all of us stuggle with!

Do you know how much time we are spending on wondering what others are thinking of us and what we are thinking of others? Imagine when you're dinning with someone when you suddenly spilled food on yourself. Your first thinking might be "Oh Sxxt!" Then you go on to think what is the others at the table gonna think of what has happened. After that you start to think what is the others who are not at your table going to think. Then once in a while, you will recall the spilling incident no matter how much you are enjoying yourself. Where IN FACT, the others might not be thinking as much as you did! That might not apply to everyone, though.

One day, you are all dressed up and full of confidence. You stepped out of your house door, welcoming the world in your face. As you walked down the familar street, smiling from the inside out... then you missed a step or two and you tripped! You got started and confidence level fell to almost zero. You looked back from your side eye and cushed that little stone that made your tripped or at yourself for missing a step. Then you look at the world again, and tried to explain to yourself that you didn't trip, you were just tired or trying to losen the new shoes that you had on (even though it's not new). After that, you try to recall if anyone has seen you trip. You realise the Uncle at the provision shop saw you! You began to think of excuses of what to say if he ever ask you about what happened just now when you visit his shop in the evening or a week later.

After your day out, you return back on the same old street on the way home. You were smiling, you really had a great day; you enjoyed the movie. Then you pass by the provision shop and decided to buy some snacks. You entered the shop, the Uncle smiled at you. Then fear hit you. "He saw me trip this morning. Is he gonna ask?" Your mind goes wondering. You faked a smile and hurry up grab the things you want. The Uncle at the counter opened his mouth and you thought, "Sxxt", what was that excuses that I thought this morning!?" The Uncle said, "Haven seen you in a while. Busy huh?". You breath a sign of relieve and happily chatted with him. You got your things and stepped out his shop. You welcome the evening in your face, but you forgot there's a step in front of you. You tripped and fell. The uncle rushed out to help you, you got up and said "Hey, it nothing. I was trying to pick up the coin I dropped" You knew he saw you fell right in his face, but you denied it. You walked away, with your confidence level drop to almost zero again.
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Irony

Madness

So, after the first practice for our Christmas event; the musicians went mad. Some breakdanced, danced, sang and did some funny stuff.

Well, the video started off with Stephie dancing away showing her lastest hip hop movements. Then it's down to the two guys trying to breakdance. The next scene if you must notice is JY trying to do some snake dance, but it's a flop. We then move on to Eunice dancing and Stephie going around telling people that she want to pee. I was then taking the video.

I couldn't sleep last night, even though I went to bed at around 5a.m. So, I decided to have a conversation with God :) I talked to Him like a friend, a father and a mentor. Asking Him questions and sharing what is happening. Then, after I said my last sentence I fell asleep soon after.Then I woke up around afternoon and went to the supermarket to get some shopping done. Grandma followed along to give me aid. She's the master in cooking. So, that's what we bought. There's the colorful pasta, prawns, meat, sotong cakes and some vegetables.I did the cutting and boy, it was hard work This is what it looks like after I boiled the pasta and cut up everything
I wasn't the cook, Grandma is! Look at her go!!
And after it's all done! Looks good and of course it taste good to me too.

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Overall we has a great time potlucking. There's pizzas, chicken, potato salad and many other food. And for desert we had chocolate ice-cream sponsored by Aaron! The night was spend chatting of what's happening around the world, church and us. Time passed by fast and we didn't realise it was already 11! Packed up and went home.

I finished my powerpoint slides for the worship later and discovered a Chirstian website where I can listen to free music. A pity that I can download them!

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牵我的手 [王子音乐]

牵我的手 我的主啊
请你不离开我
这条路 我搁要行
我需要你来作伴

牵我的手 我的主啊
请你不离开我
有时我会惊
有时不知按怎行
有时干那听不着你的声

[c]
牵我的手 请你甲我作伴
互我的脚步又稳又定
走到你的门前
听着你的声
甲我讲：入来我的子！

This song meant so much to me when I first discovered I had diabetes. I was at my lowest point then and this song; and another, accompanied me through it. 牵我的手 was written in Hokkien and if you can understand it, it carries so much meaning; especially the second verse and chorus. I loved sharing songs and testimonies with people who are willing to listen. I may be young, but God has done so many things in my life. Since the day I was born to this day when I'm still living. I'm sure this song will be with me even if I'm at my highest point. We need God to hold our hands each day; and I need Him ever more to hold my hands firm when He leads me to new ground. 牵我的手,我的主啊;请你不离开我.

Here's a lose translation of the song in English.

牵我的手 Hold My Hands
牵我的手 我的主啊 Hold my hands, O Lord
请你不离开我 Please do not leave me alone
这条路 我搁要行 I still want to walk this path
我需要你来作伴 I need You to be with me

牵我的手 我的主啊 Hold my hands, O Lord
请你不离开我 Please do not leave me alone
有时我会惊 In times I'm afraid
有时不知按怎行 In times I lost my way
有时干那听不着你的声 And in times I couldn't hear You

[c]
牵我的手 请你甲我作伴 Hold my hands and be there for me
互我的脚步又稳又定 Let my steps be firm and strong
走到你的门前 And when I reach Your doorstep
听着你的声 I would hear You say
甲我讲：入来我的子！ "Come in, My child"

Ellen

I like this episode, watched it a million time!

I must admit, for a few minutes I have been wondering why I like this show. Although I have always found White House-related dramas interesting, that factor alone has not brought me back to The West Wing or any other shows on a consistent basis. Commander is a seriously-dumbed down version of its predecessor. But then it occurred to me—the reason I do like the show is because it is a dumbed-down version of The West Wing. No serious intellect required. I get enough of the juicy behind-the-scenes stuff while being allowed to kick back at the same time. If I’m dozing off and miss a sentence here or there, I am not forever lost. While The West Wing can be far too serious for its own good, Commander has just enough fluff to keep me amused. At lease, I started watching it only two weeks ago! Woman power! For centuaries woman is always under man and is always considered the weaklink! Yeah, I do agree that woman may not be as strong physically as man do; but emotionally we can be stronger!

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So, there's the potluck tomorrow and I got Grandma to have it all fixed up for me. Suppose to be pasta-the-normal-style for me to bring, but Grandma suggested something simpler. It's simpler cause she's gonna be the one cooking and I'll be the one cutting up the stuff. So it's stir fried macoroni with lots of other stuff in it. Maybe it's a little disappointing to the ones that I have promised the normal pasta; but I seriously think this fried macoroni will taste better with potato salad! Somehow we got so used to the things we used to eat and sometimes refused changes; same goes to our life, don't we?
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You know, sometimes I am so concerned of what people think of me that I drive myself crazy at times? So, here what's you call the me-myself-and-I illness. I got so much to learn in life :)

Recently I'm re-reading a book that I finished months ago, "What happens when woman walk in faith". Re-reading it has certainly changed my life in a little here and there! I have re-noticed the points that I marked out and newly point out new points that I discovered. Perfect timing to re-read books in time. So many in life that I have to step out and leave. Draw a line in the sand and never dive back to the mud pubble I left.

Since I got my new cellphone, I realise I've been recording my days with pictures! This was Sunday's worship team. It's nice to see them working together with the same purpose.
The Church choir (female) went on stage and sang a song during service on Sunday. They improved so much with the addition of 2 new China members. 2 voices are enough to cover over 10 of the local members.
Once again, the worship team. Gathered for prayer before worship starts
So there's the worship leader (in black), bassis (in green), keyboardist (in dark blue), pianist (in black, waving), guitarist (in white) and drummer (in red). Camera person (taking picture)!
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It sure feels good to see how worships changes with time. From only a pianist and worship leader, to pianist, guitarist and worship leader, to today! I remembered how bad we treated worships, choosing songs on the spots and singing the songs we wanted without any purpose. As I sat there yesterday watching the team get ready, I felt a sense of pride of how far we have came! Of course, glory and honor to God!

"The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they eventually surpass him or her in knowledge and ability." -Fred A. Manske, Jr.

"The great leaders are like the best conductors - they reach beyond the notes to reach the magic in the players." -Blaine Lee, The Power Principle

So, there's the "victorious" side, but there's also the down side. Sometimes when I lead, it's sure a turn off to see the teachers' talking to each other at the back and not singing themselves. I don't know, maybe they don't understand the songs or simply thinks that the songs we sang were wrong; like what happened on Sunday when FW came out to voice his thoughts. From my point of view, FW should have spoken to the worship team instead of the whole group. Although we totally disagree with what FW said, non of us wanted to clear things up with him; we expected his ten-year-series answers anyway. So, there's the waiting period. Then it's the people.. well, their faces tells us to "Hurry up finish the song" or " I'm bored". Of course, not all of them :) There's still a long way to go! However, each time when I lead; I pray to see only the vision of the cross and not the people's faces. We lead for God and purpose is to bring them close to God.. We are humans afterall; God can lead us on.

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Anyway, I met a lady from UK last night through one of the forums I visit. We had a great time chatting even though she's a senior to me. She once was from Royal Air Force and was stationed in Singapore before. That's so cool to chat with someone who has so much knowledge and experience to share! I do look forward to chat with her more often. But of course time is a problem. I'm 7 hours ahead of her! At first, I thought she is going to be in her 20s or so; but it turn out not! I shall not reveal her age; but she's a special friend I know through the net. I chated with her till 4.30a.m this morning! Boy, was I shagged or what. I can't tell Left from Right, twice!
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My favorite show is on for the last episode tonight! Then, I'm not sure what show will catch my attention, the new show seems boring.
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So after Church we went for lunch as usuals and off to Serengoon Gardens for meeting. It's an interesting idea to set up a place for youths to share their new songs and sing some songs to the Church and outside people. Who knows we may be talented spotted! What a dream...
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Yes, this week is gonna be great. By faith, it will be great.


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Shirly: All the best for your major examinations! Keep praying, do your part well and God will fulfill His!

Chang Chi: I know you are reading this! Take really good care and shine on for Him!

People who reads my blog: Thanks for visiting! God bless... I love you all; even though I don't know some of you. Leave a message!

Went for Church's Mooncake Festival celebration. The haze was thick and the moon has decided to hide itself. The whole night I was trying to spot the moon, it only became visible towards the end of the celebration! As compared to years ago, Mooncake festival wasn't as excited as before. I remembered fondly when I was a kid, the Church would give out paper lanterns and we would get a chance to carry them and "show off" near the neighbourhood. There would be games and lots of laughters! Poor kids nowadays, no more lanterns, no more fun. This is Lydia, posing in front of Ah John's CD store
The China (Hua Yuan) fellowship's people, helping out with the mooncakes
There's some technical faults with the digital camera. In the picture is Aaron and FW
This is the "Ah John" that we have been trying to guess who he was
Another picture of the happy family working together
PS preaching to the crowd
Uncle Paul and Sister Liza singing
Another view of PS preaching

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Kinda sad when I wasn't called for the movie viewing on Friday. She did send me a message, but I told her to inform me again when everything was finalised; guess I'm forgotten, as usual. Nevermind, I get to watch my television show at 7 and finally see the characters get together after a long ordeal.

Seems like I'm always the last one to be remembered when it comes to activities. WHY? Maybe I don't show that I like being in groups sometimes and at the same time, like being alone in times also? That's so me... Sometimes I'm left so alone and sometimes people gave me so much attention that I felt irritated.. Am I crazy or what? Shoot me.
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It explains, it explains.

The haze is getting from bad to worse nowadays. I looked out of the sky just moments ago, I can't even see clearly what's ahead! Take a deep breath and you smell burnt smoke; now.. you don't have to even take a deep breath. Normal air smells bad! Oh man, what's happening?! I think it's the worse haze problem Singapore has ever encounter! I need a mask!!
During the comercials, I rampaged through some old albums and found this picture of mine! Goodness, I can't believe I once looked like that! Ahaha, old time memories kicked me into 2nd gear! I missed that old hairstyle man... Haha.. Once again; I'm straight.
Then to my horror, I found this picture above! Taken when I was primary 2 I guess, 8 years-old then. DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE THIS BACK THEN?! Haha, look at the mushroom hair style and that oh-so-famous glasses of mine! Light blue in colour somemore! But I was cute! So ROUND!!
Here's another picture taken from my house's view. Can you spot how blured the skyline was? As I look out from my window now, it's total blurness! I need fresh air! Air, air, air!!!

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As I signed off earlier on to watch Oprah's show; (I missed Ellen's show) it was a great show. Her show featured an author, Elie Wieseh ( I hope I didn't spelled the lastname wrongly), who was a Nobel Peace Prize Winner and a survivor of Hitler's Holocaust. He talked about the past and reminded us how important peace is. Humans said that Hitler's Holocaust will never happen again, but yet so many wars and killings have gone by and are still going on. If you don't know, Sudan's "mess" are still going on. It's scary how soundly we can sleep at night while the other side of the earth, people are dying every minute. It's scary how changes can affect so many things in our life.
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I clearly remembered when I came back from Cambodia, I said I never wanted to step inside that R-21 Prision again or any concentrate camps. Then, today I asked "why so?" Is it because I was scared of the sight I saw or to know about their past? I guess I was scared; but God said not to be afraid! I need to know what's happening and what has happen to be able to reach out my hands.. and suddenly I have an urge to visit the concentration camps in Germany...
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I've been watching this show since the holidays started. Though we are behind time; this show is aired in 2003 in Hong Kong, but this is a nice show! It's ending soon..
I baked during the holidays. Looks yummy right? Taste it!!
This is what happens when I first bake cookies... This is rock, not cookie. Burnt rock!
When to school gym during the holidays and caught this little monster outside gym. Of course, it's not me who caught it. Teckie did.. crazy guy
I helped Shirly designed her Church's t-shirt also. This is the first draft I gave to her.
Che tried to murder me in Church... But in the end I murdered myself
These are the successful cookies I baked!
This is one of the final draft of Shirly's T-shirt design I send to her.

Well, this is a summary of what happened since I last blogged. Gotta go off to watch Ellen's and Oprah's show!! After that, I'll have half and hour to cook dinner while Grandma goes to a Church's activity tonight. The television is all mine tonight!!