The Grace in Grace

I think for the very first time in my history, I dreamt of my boyfriend... a few nights ago. He was a tall chap, so tall that I had to jump to give him a hug. He has messy short hair, like those who don't bother to comb or style. Wearing a light blue t-shirt, bearded and he carries the look of a japanese... but doesn't speak like one. I think his name was Amos or some sort, I can't really remember that. It's funny, but it was quite a nice dream... :D So, this Amos came to look for me while I was at work, in the midst of a busy project during lunch break. Some one called out for me, told me Amos was here and... I remembered I was surprise, didn't expect him to show up and how much of a little girl I felt like inside me... HAHAHAHAHAHA!

So, finally at this age now... yeah, this dream was nice.

I don't know what kind of partner I'll be. Will I be paitent, open, possesive, easy to anger because of expectation, accomodating or... ? It seems like so far Mr. Right hasn't arrive, or I haven been looking. Perhaps I've never felt good enough, still waiting for the right moment (which never came) or simply, afraid to commit. As much it doesn't seem like it, yeah.. I think I do have this afraid of commit trade within me. Not that I'll be a player, having flings one after another... Maybe I'm afraid of giving too much and getting hurt. Maybe I'm afraid of the expectations I will develope. Perhaps. I could come up with a million other reasons why, but seriously... heh!

So, what am I looking for exactly? I guess it's the model answer that everyone will give.. But I believe I will know, when "Amos" finally appeared.. I think maybe I don't have the priviledge of having a 10 years relationship before settling down.. Well, priviledge or not, it depends on individuals. Hahaha... My oh my..

It's going to be quite eventful tomorrow. Meeting at YMCA, final theory e-trial test and then final theory test.. I hope I'll just have to do it once :D and that YMCA will be fine with whatever I wanna meet them for..

I should travel this November before I start work...