Friday, May 14, 2010
No matter how I try, it seems that it's never good enough.
Ever tried solving a math problem that took you hours to figure it out but some others could do it within 3 minutes? Ever tried memerizing history for days but some others didn't even have to study and they ace it? Ever tried being good at something but some others could just do it naturally?
Maybe I wasn't born a talent, a natural motivational speaker, a multi-tasker, a designer or let's just sum it up... an all rounder.
It seems like no matter what I do, some one could always beat me to it. Things could never be well done, designs will always have flaws, passage will always have mistakes and I could never feel good enough. Why compare, or rather... there's no point.. but because it's right smack in my face. It's like you have a scholar sister and you're a drop out from primary school.
And so I have been battling. I ought to shoot myself for feeling or even thinking like this. After all, I wanted things to be back to normal and you to be back on your feet.. so why am I even feeling like this when it's all back to normal. It's like you've gotten rid of the devil, but it's lurking somewhere ready to strike again... I've send you away from the enermy line but I'm still waiting for my truck to come..
I don't even want to start doing the design.. Doesn't matter if it's just need to be plain simple.. I know I can do it and it wouldn't be bad.. How wrong can it go with a plain background and text.. But it wouldn't be good enough or maybe.. I'm just afraid..
Why does it always seem like you get it better; more friends, more families, more opportunities, more luck, more talents, more brains, more looks, more love... Why do I always have to do it the hard way.. I admit I'm sore even though I'm happy on the other end. Some say because I got smacked right in the face when you stood up on your feet again.. Unknowingly, I told them.. I hope.. Or knowing that I wouldn't blink an eye even if it's not..
There's enough crew, my so-called department doesn't really need me and now... I don't know what I'm there for.. Another pest, maybe. Not good enough anyway.
And so I guess, I'm the only one left...
Ever tried solving a math problem that took you hours to figure it out but some others could do it within 3 minutes? Ever tried memerizing history for days but some others didn't even have to study and they ace it? Ever tried being good at something but some others could just do it naturally?
Maybe I wasn't born a talent, a natural motivational speaker, a multi-tasker, a designer or let's just sum it up... an all rounder.
It seems like no matter what I do, some one could always beat me to it. Things could never be well done, designs will always have flaws, passage will always have mistakes and I could never feel good enough. Why compare, or rather... there's no point.. but because it's right smack in my face. It's like you have a scholar sister and you're a drop out from primary school.
And so I have been battling. I ought to shoot myself for feeling or even thinking like this. After all, I wanted things to be back to normal and you to be back on your feet.. so why am I even feeling like this when it's all back to normal. It's like you've gotten rid of the devil, but it's lurking somewhere ready to strike again... I've send you away from the enermy line but I'm still waiting for my truck to come..
I don't even want to start doing the design.. Doesn't matter if it's just need to be plain simple.. I know I can do it and it wouldn't be bad.. How wrong can it go with a plain background and text.. But it wouldn't be good enough or maybe.. I'm just afraid..
Why does it always seem like you get it better; more friends, more families, more opportunities, more luck, more talents, more brains, more looks, more love... Why do I always have to do it the hard way.. I admit I'm sore even though I'm happy on the other end. Some say because I got smacked right in the face when you stood up on your feet again.. Unknowingly, I told them.. I hope.. Or knowing that I wouldn't blink an eye even if it's not..
There's enough crew, my so-called department doesn't really need me and now... I don't know what I'm there for.. Another pest, maybe. Not good enough anyway.
And so I guess, I'm the only one left...
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 5/14/2010 06:27:00 PM
