The Grace in Grace

"You were there, You were there
During history’s darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God"

I miss church, I miss how it was before. I miss how I would look forward to Fridays for worship practices, Saturday for meetings and Sundays for serving. Now, I don't know where all these has gone. It's not the same anymore. Some have moved on, some moved out and others like me... fading off. It's like an old movie playing when I looked back at all the old photographs Lydia posted on Facebook.. That Easter event, those Christmas concerts, tons and tons of camps...

And so I finally got a call for an job interview but it clashed with Zoo's camp that I'm doing that day. Well, if I hadn't taken Heather's camp the day before, I might just be able to make it for that interview. That job sounds kind of fun, I hope they would really call me back...

What Eugene said the other day made me think... It's not the first time we had such conversations, not the first time I went through this... But this time his words hit me and it made me think.. maybe what he said might just be the case..

I know it's tiring for both of us. You're tired, I'm tired too. How many time do we have to go through this... but it always seemed like it's me who started it. So yeah... you can get sick and tired more..

Sometimes you know you need to get something done, you need to let something go.. but you just refushed to do it.. no matter how many time you get slapped in the face.. Afterall, so much was done, so much was invested... how can I let it go just like that... how can I become another one just like that.. how can I change... just like that..