Friday, March 19, 2010
If there is one thing I could do now and not care about the consequences... it would be to run away. Take the next plane out of here and not look back. But damn it, it's always so easy to say. As if I wasn't down and out enough, things just have to get worse.
So, I've not always been who you want me to be and behave the way you want me to behave. I've never been the best in your eyes, never did enough, never was good and will never be up to your standard as long as I want to be myself. I guess it never did matter, who am I after all?
Where's my solace when I needed one? Oh please don't tell me God is the one and only solace that I should seek and find.. I can't feel anything, not to say hear any tiny voices speaking to me. I've gone too far out; out of range, out of sight, fading off. And just when I thought I could have a comfort figure, a comfort zone to fall back into... I ruined it with my own bare hands.
I felt abandoned. What have I done that is so wrong? What have I become? If loneliness never felt so real, if abandonment has never been an issue, if my confidence wasn't affected, if my esteem wasn't low enough... now it all has.
Run all, run and shut yourself off from me..
I could do with some hugs and a shoulder now... But there's no one in sight.. Screwed.
So, I've not always been who you want me to be and behave the way you want me to behave. I've never been the best in your eyes, never did enough, never was good and will never be up to your standard as long as I want to be myself. I guess it never did matter, who am I after all?
Where's my solace when I needed one? Oh please don't tell me God is the one and only solace that I should seek and find.. I can't feel anything, not to say hear any tiny voices speaking to me. I've gone too far out; out of range, out of sight, fading off. And just when I thought I could have a comfort figure, a comfort zone to fall back into... I ruined it with my own bare hands.
I felt abandoned. What have I done that is so wrong? What have I become? If loneliness never felt so real, if abandonment has never been an issue, if my confidence wasn't affected, if my esteem wasn't low enough... now it all has.
Run all, run and shut yourself off from me..
I could do with some hugs and a shoulder now... But there's no one in sight.. Screwed.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 3/19/2010 10:30:00 PM
