The Grace in Grace

Bird park today was fun. Waking up at 6.30 isn't. The day wasn't bad, weather's nice and there's good company. Knocked out while watching TV and continue to be in coma till 7ish. Took a long bus ride home and here I am, just finish typing the %&*$#@#$ hand over report that they should have send last week or at least yesterday when they asked for it. So, I had to do like 3 times the work just because of your stupidity. The computer crashed, period. The best I could do is be kind and go back for a day to brief the poor soul taking over my position. If it's not for the school, I wouldn't care less. I gave you what I could, give me my pay.

Rather pissed last night, but I'm glad it's quite over. I wonder how at times I want to try, but there are moments that I didn't want to give a damn. Am I being mean? Girlfriend said it's because sometimes it's just not worth the time and effort.. But I would like to believe that everything is worth some kind of time and effort. Ah well, maybe someday I will be enlighten, like.. "Ting! Ah ha!!"

Maybe I'm biased. No doubt I am to certain things and people. I don't deny I treat some people better than the others, showed more love, displayed more care and concern and whatnot. Come on, I'm human. No matter how saint someone is, there's bound to be favoritism before logic sets in. I can't say I have never dislike someone, but now... I want to at least try. It's on and off. There are moments I am able to squeeze some love out, but also times I just want to roll my eyes and walk away; like damn you, I don't care whatever! It's complicated, really. It's funny how I can give unconditionally (almost) to some and hold back so much to the other some.. Someone press the eureka button.

We've been talking about it for a million times and every time we end up asking why is it so damn freaking hard to do it? With all the prayers that goes, "Teach me how to love like you have loved me..." Is it even possible? Maybe if I try hard enough, it is. I'm sure the problem or the thorn is there for a good reason..

Well... it's the last one. Let it be good, somehow... and then I REALLY need to prepare for Cambodia and off I go, it's slowly kicking in. Thank goodness for the camps to fill up some space. It felt just like how I prepared for Logos II.. that was quite insane. But fun :)