The Grace in Grace

Every child dreams. When you're young and innocent, no one will tell you that your dream of becoming a doctor, lawyer or even a MacDonald cashier is unrealistic or in that matter, stupid. Maybe growing up in an Asian culture, every parents want their child to hold on to something firm and achievable. Upon graduation; get an office job, earn as much CPF for your retirement and work your way up the cooperate ladder. Sure my parents have the same thought, for that is the safest life journey one can take, and so they thought. I think it's hard on them. Hard to have a daughter that wants to challenge what life throws at her. I'm sure all they want is a daughter that would listen and take all their advices. Too bad, Dad.. Like I said you cannot force what applies to you unto me now.

Girlfriend and I talked last night; and I'm glad we did. And so, I shared with her all that's bothering me and how difficult it is now when I don't see any picture forming. To a point I was asking myself if it's all worth it. She reminded me again that it wasn't easy to start with, but it's all for a reason why we're doing it. It then brought me back to the time I proclaim that I want to take the road less traveled. I guess, taking the road less traveled is indeed not easy after all. Not that I'm giving up, just a little tired and lost from so many things happening. With all the parental stress and the hooha happening one after another, it drains me.

"Don't give up on me..." These words stays within me even after we parted. Who am I to say give up? I've always told others and even myself at times that "if God didn't give up, why should you?" I'm not giving up, but as the road gets tougher to walk, the mist get foggier and each steps is getting heavier.. I need you to push me on and hold me up. I promise I won't hobo you girlfriend, when both your hands are up.

It's funny how I didn't want IT to become my career and how firmly I told Farabi that IT is just going to be a life skill I have and that's about it. It's funny how things have changed. And I know it's going to be funny when we talked about it 10 years later...

Thank you, girlfriend.