Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I could do with some adrenaline rush in my system now. These few days (or maybe since when I can remember), every single moment is lethargic. The sun is nice and hot, yet I'm here in the air conditioned room freezing my brain and body cells away. I stare at nothing but computers and what could make it worse, sharing the lab with an idoit I so want to ignore. Not that he did anything to irritate me, but just his very presence (or breathing) is irking the hell out of me. Yeah, call it the PMS thing; I'm less than one week from it anyway.
It sends me into (deep)sleep mode that the school holidays are coming, I got no lessons to teach YET I have to sit my ass in school every working day. To be true, even if they throw me things to do or lessons to conduct, I would pretty much brushed it away. No motivation to teach, no motivation to remain level headed in this job. The only push I had to wake up at 6.30a.m was all the 7.45a.m lessons, even so, I'm practically dragging my body and eyes to wake up. This is taking a toll... Why oh why has the passion gone? I used to like being in KC, to think I used to reach school at 7.30a.m! Now it's worth a mega celebration if I can even wake up at 7.30a.m for a normal work day without morning classes...
Suddenly I am nostalgic of the freedom I had when I wasn't in the work force. I missed those simple times how I would take a ride down to the airport alone or with a few friends, just laze the day away. Or how after school we would hang out at each others place till it's dinner time. Weekend spending every moment of it in church... Gone are these days :( No matter how much we try to live it again, it's just different.
Just when I talked about the day being sunny and hot; it's now freaking raining outside!
I don't know why I feel that lazy. So lazy, if it wasn't for work I would sleep the day at home. But wait, I couldn't do that at my parents' place. The only comfort zone I can sleep for all I want was at Grandma's. Even then, she would blast her TV at 10ish and 4ish for her drama shows. Oh mama, till date I still haven achieve my goal of sleeping 24 hours. Imagine I had that goal since the day I finish my last O level paper. 5 years, man.. am I getting old or what?
Seriously, someone please drag me out of the house in the morning. Like early morning, ask me out for breakfast. MSN me online to make sure I'm not wasting another day away. Fill my nights with meaningful events so that at least before I sleep, I can say something was achieved that day. Why am I wasting precious days away when others are dying to live another day more..
Help.
It sends me into (deep)sleep mode that the school holidays are coming, I got no lessons to teach YET I have to sit my ass in school every working day. To be true, even if they throw me things to do or lessons to conduct, I would pretty much brushed it away. No motivation to teach, no motivation to remain level headed in this job. The only push I had to wake up at 6.30a.m was all the 7.45a.m lessons, even so, I'm practically dragging my body and eyes to wake up. This is taking a toll... Why oh why has the passion gone? I used to like being in KC, to think I used to reach school at 7.30a.m! Now it's worth a mega celebration if I can even wake up at 7.30a.m for a normal work day without morning classes...
Suddenly I am nostalgic of the freedom I had when I wasn't in the work force. I missed those simple times how I would take a ride down to the airport alone or with a few friends, just laze the day away. Or how after school we would hang out at each others place till it's dinner time. Weekend spending every moment of it in church... Gone are these days :( No matter how much we try to live it again, it's just different.
Just when I talked about the day being sunny and hot; it's now freaking raining outside!
I don't know why I feel that lazy. So lazy, if it wasn't for work I would sleep the day at home. But wait, I couldn't do that at my parents' place. The only comfort zone I can sleep for all I want was at Grandma's. Even then, she would blast her TV at 10ish and 4ish for her drama shows. Oh mama, till date I still haven achieve my goal of sleeping 24 hours. Imagine I had that goal since the day I finish my last O level paper. 5 years, man.. am I getting old or what?
Seriously, someone please drag me out of the house in the morning. Like early morning, ask me out for breakfast. MSN me online to make sure I'm not wasting another day away. Fill my nights with meaningful events so that at least before I sleep, I can say something was achieved that day. Why am I wasting precious days away when others are dying to live another day more..
Help.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 5/26/2009 01:06:00 PM
