The Grace in Grace

There's no agenda, no specific thing I want to blog about. So, here goes.. It might not make much sense to you if you aren't part of me :D

Students were never on time, so that gave me some moments alone to bask in the sun at my favorite spot. As I was looking at the kids play dotch ball, it reminded me of the good old times back in secondary school's PE lesson. Looking through girlfriend's yearbook last night made me regret not keeping good copies of them. The sun was nice, bright and warm. Then out of nowhere a plane appeared in the midst of those dense clouds.. It brought me back to those boarding planes moments. I enjoyed the journey walking from the departure hall to gate, the feeling was indescribable. Minus the waiting time to board the plane, seats that's almost 90 degrees straight; all else was nice. For long flights, the movies was what I stayed awake for and occasionally the food cart. I want to fly again, long flights that is.. Back to Europe?

I've been wanting to get out of the house after work since Monday, but it didn't happen till yesterday because there was training. So, finally I was not my way home after work and actually looked forward to meet a friend after training. I was quite disappointed when the meet up canceled, after all I would love to show some care and concern. Not that I'm a very good friend, or offer good advices all the time. Most time I sit and listen, or just stay by the person's side. I don't know, that was the best I could give. I'm not good with words and I'm afraid the things I said wouldn't make sense..but let me sit beside you.. You can go ahead ramble, remain silence, hit me, cry, do whatever you want.. I'll just be beside. Maybe to that person, my presence wouldn't be that all important, but if it could make you feel a little better.. that would make my day.. Call that simple happiness or stupidity.

Many times I felt misunderstood. I'm not expressive and I'm not the talking one. My support, care, concern, love and whatsoever comes in the silent way.. Just so hard.. I need a friend that understand that, besides Jesus. I should learn to be more expressive, but yet I'm still afraid.. Actually, WHY SHOULD I BE AFRAID OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK? I should be MYSELF, not someone they want me to be. Keep that in mind, Grace. The best friend(s) will come by soon.. Not that I don't have friends around me, but just that special friend I have always wanted.. since I can remember.

I seriously need to open up more..

I'm tired.