The Grace in Grace

It's proven. If I were an MOE teacher, I would have been long sacked and maybe even appeared on headlines. Growing up in mixed schools is really different compared to those who has been in single-sex school all their life. For once, the parents in mixed school weren't that protective. And in my memory I have no recall of my parents ever making complains to school, even when the math teacher hit me on the head, called me names or did funny things!

Other teachers have been telling me, "Don't be too pally with the kids, that's when trouble comes." It make no sense to me. Why must the line between teachers and students be drawn so clearly? The youths in my Church are the same age as the students I teach, how do I expect myself to act as a no-friendship-with-students-teacher during weekdays to a youth leader who has friends that age on weekends? Yes, I do regard my students as friends and yes I've notice some of my students talk to me like their friends; which I don't mind at all! Isn't it what it's suppose to be? Isn't it important for students to feel comfortable around you? Why must a student always fear a teacher and never dare get close or friendly with teachers?

There are so many rules to abide, to follow in schools. Rules that still didn't make sense, parents that I don't know why they are so protective and students who gets me into trouble. I thought I could manage to stay on in teaching till next August before I leave for full time mission. But it seems, I couldn't. The thought of staying one more day is killing me. The students are great, fun bunch; it's what's coming from the black sheeps, parents and upper level.

I regret to say, I'm counting down to the end of my teaching days. I would still teach, but not in Singapore's government school, I should say.. I don't want to teach in Singapore if I have the choice. I won't do or abide in something I don't believe in. Looks now from now on, I'm just counting downs the days before I leave. The calling to teach is gone, all gone.

How I wish the school would sack me now, and I move on to a mixed school. Or the company would sack me now, and I can make it for the September's intake in Logos Hope. Disappointed, discouraged, downhearted.

I hate to hear the word "Ms Grace" now. I guess the one my students once knew, died. "Ms Grace" just can't be the same anymore.