The Grace in Grace

怕黑

如果我说我忍住眼泪
如果我说我不会后悔
在这个夜深人静的时候
请不要让我如此心碎

如果我说我忍住伤悲
如果我说我觉得好累
在这个夜深人静的时候
我只愿能与你紧紧相依相偎

因为我会怕黑
因为我无法入睡
因为我心中疲惫
因为我迎着风打雨吹

因为我会怕黑
因为我觉得意冷心灰
因为我隐着我的眼泪
请不要让这一切
变成不对

I was nostalgic these few days and have been listening to oldies. Strangely whenever I need someone to talk to about Church, spiritual life or even personal problem, this sister would always pop up on msn. She's seldom online and we don't really stay in contact. But when we talk, we really do heart-to-heart talk.

And so I was telling her about Church, what I felt and what I planned to do. She's right, a weary soul needs rest. When a baby is tired, he sleeps (that explains why my 14 hours of sleep on saturday was undisturbed).

Goon was telling me to pray about it and seek what God really wants from me. At first she was like, "No, you don't stop serving. Keep going!" I guess she didn't understand the whole situation. But I'm glad she tried to be understanding :) We met for tea last night, I was almost falling asleep when she finally called. I was telling her my plans to step down this year, just take a break, get recharged again, find myself back and get some issues settled. That "find-myself-back" sentence sparked her off. She began asking what were the issues, what did I meant by find-myself-back and bla bla bla. It wasn't time to share with her I felt, so I kept pushing it away. But damn, she hit the spot the moment she started guessing. God knows, God knows..

So, yeah.. I guess that's one of the main reasons why I want a break. This morning I told myself, "Grace, let's start this over again." It's not going to be easy, but I'm sure this journey will be meaningful.

Gloria was telling me about a teaching job in Cambodia yesterday. It was so tempting to just leave my current job and fly there. Not that I hate my job now, but it has always been my dream to live and work overseas. Cambodia is a nice place, close to missions too. It's just a 4-6 months teaching job somewhere up Northen Cambodia, near to Laos. Not to forget good place to backpack too :D But we are putting it off until next half of the year. I can't imagine living with Gloria for 4-6 months, she's gonna change my life so much! I learned a lot from this crazy woman though.

My parents have been asking me questions about giving offerings to Church. Mom asked, "If we don't want to give, can right?" Of course, I told her (God loves a cheerful giver; I explained a bit what offering is about). And so I thought she and Dad would take some time before understanding offerings. Just before I went out to meet Goon for tea, Mom and Dad came asking me how to fill up a offering-pledge form for their Church's building fund and monthly offering form! I can't believe my parents are giving offering to Church!! Amen to that!

Mom wants me to accompany them to their Church this sunday. She said the people there have been wanting to meet me. I should go eh, to show some support.. This is going well, God.

In Your time, Your will, Your plan.

因为我会怕黑
因为我无法入睡
因为我心中疲惫
因为我迎着风打雨吹

因为我会怕黑
因为我觉得意冷心灰
因为我隐着我的眼泪
请不要让这一切
变成不对