Thursday, September 25, 2008
These few days the right side of my lower back hurts. Every time my back hurts for no reason, I will start to panic. "Could it be the worse case scenario? Could it already be happening?"During the last night in Malaysia, a few of us went out for dinner and we started talking about a sister that works in Aceh. She recently came back for her eyes treatment due to diabetes. It hit me when I was told she's less than 30 years old. Which means she should have been diagnosed with diabetes at around the same age as me. 10 years and her eyes are already failing. And then I wonder, when is my turn?
Every year I go for check up, every 3 months I go to the doctor's. But when that faithful day come, will I still be as strong? Will I one day go back to insulin and jabs, will I one day be living off a dialysis machine, will I one day be blind, will I one day lose a limb, will I still walk the way I want to walk?
Many times I wonder why, why me at such a young age. I should have a long way to go, I should be healthy and strong. What went wrong, is it even my fault that I inherited that life long illness? Why am I not like the others? As I asked myself these questions over and over again; God assured me time and time again that things are in His plans.
Ming Hua said, "It's is not for us to understand, then we believe. We must first believe, then we will understand."
Of course, looking back at those days living by needles and insulin; it was tough. So tough, I almost gave up. But now I know, I don't give up easily :) I'm a tough cookie! Those days are gone (whether it will come back or not, God has the answer). Whatever happens, I'm sure I will make it through the hurdle.
So, Grace, be strong!
People need you...... (really?) HAHAHA!
*I figured that my back might be hurting because of my super heavy backpack when I was coming back from Malaysia*
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 9/25/2008 04:21:00 PM
