The Grace in Grace

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
because: The time to love is short

Author unknown

3 weeks I think, or maybe one whole month. The days spent together may mean nothing, but it made a difference in my life. Cheering each other up, talking crap, planning trips. It all ended last week, and although I knew it was going to end, I didn't quite expected it.

Maybe not to you, but I took the friendship seriously. You may say things and can joke about it, but I really do care about you. When you fell sick, I kept my phone on the whole night just in case you needed someone. When you were sad, I rushed back to my seat every time lesson ended, just to make sure that someone was there for you. When you talked about your pain, my heart went out to you.

You text me at 6 in the morning. I got up, rubbed my eyes till the eye balls nearly fell out to reply and make sure you're alright before heading back to sleep. I worried the whole day if you have seen a doctor, ate something or were you feeling better then. When you say you're sad, I thought of ways to cheer you up. I sat there in front of the computer "listening" to you even when my bladder was about to explode.

Those few weeks were really enjoyable although challenging.

We talked about so much. From overseas trips to almost anything we can dig and talk about. I felt that the trips we planned would happen one day; but now it seems like a fantasy. Maybe to you it was a fantasy from the very first sentence?

Then I began to feel that all that's happening is so virtual. We can talk about it in the virtual world, outside of that it's all different. Online and offline, it's totally 2 different world. I totally don't like that. To me, if I want to talk about it; it wouldn't be virtual.

Sometimes I hope I was the one thinking too much. Sometimes I hope everything is just as alright as it was. Sometimes I just want to close one eye and continue. Sometimes I really wonder what had went wrong. Sometimes I wonder if you really did care about this friendship. Sometimes I wonder if it meant anything to you.

Did I gave too much and didn't take back any? Or should I give and not expect any in return. Someone once said, "You should give, give till it hurts. You should love, love till it hurts."

Now, I think I understand what does it means by that. Cause I gave, and I gave till it hurts in some ways. I love, and I love till it hurts in some ways too.

I miss the way it was.