The Grace in Grace

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Not too long ago I thought my life came to an end. Everything was going well, way too well. I was having a job I like, facing my crush every single working day ( :D ), I passed my O level, I got into the polytechnic I want to get in... then God sure knows how to play a joke on me ( I thought). But I thank God for the body for all that and the check-up that revealed what I had but didn't know all along. If it would drag any longer.. I doubt I'll survive till now!

Gone are the days of needles and insulin. Gone are the days of looking at my tummy wondering where to poke that needle in. Gone are the nights crying myself to sleep and wondering why this had happened. Coming to think of that.. I manage to put a smile on my face right now :)

Damn it was difficult. But I survived. Thank you.

Without God, no chance. You had no idea how crushed I was. Try smashing your finger with a 100 ton weight. Ok, not in that sense of "crush". But it just seem like my whole world stopped moving. I dreamed no more, I cared no more.

God allowed me to be sad and depressed for a few moments, but not for long. I found new strength through this pain. Not long after, I was on my feet again. All ready to face it.

Still I was afraid of what diabetes might or some say would bring. Kidney failure, heart attack, hypertension, stroke.. All these scares me. I moved from injections to medications, but the fact is this sickness sticks to me all my life.. (who knoes maybe not!) Who wouldn't be afraid when you know that you are in the risk of getting all these other sickness. Who wouldn't grumble and ask why.. especially when you're not even in middle age? Who would think what might happen in future?

Well, I got it sort out..

From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.

What may happen; God permits them. He will guide me through. Uncle Tony's sermon today came as when needed. God walks before me.

Diabetes wouldn't be a stumbling stone in God's journey for me. It is a stepping stone.

Oh.. I might be going home to Malaysia this Wednesday!! It's exciting to think of it. I haven been home for 8 years.. Not confirm yet though..