Friday, June 16, 2006
Another funeral; total funeral in the month of June = 4. That's a record. Let me recall; first was Aunt Irene's Dad, Xue Fen, Uncle Lee Chin Seng and the lastest is Fatty Aunty. Is the whole funeral thing making me numb of death; or death isn't that scary anymore? Just a goodbye and *poof* you went? I'll know soon.
For the first time in months I finally turn up for a Pacesetter's event. As usual I was quiet and talk when I am needed. Glad to have a sharing session with Ramily; we both are somehow going through the same thing. Well, we had thoughts of dropping Pace and focus on other things since the motivation to be actively involve with Pace is fading away. But coming to think of how much effort and work we have gone and put through; it's such a waste. Went of after the interview session, was supposed to stay for some meeting but I can't cause of Lee Ying's tuition. For no reason and information I was placed in some unknown committee again.
GCC BBQ tomorrow; should I go? Howe Luen asked me along, but I'm really wondering should I go. It's for the main and sub committee members; and I'm not even confirm to be one yet. Plus, I have Church tomorrow.
In my heart, I had so much wanted to go for this BBQ. "Just leave after leading Praise and Worship. The whole discussion thing is going to be boring and dull anyway", was in my mind. Someone I know I must put God first, plus I'm a committee member myself. Somehow I'm not really looking forward to what "short bonding camp" again. When I got the text for it, I was like "ANOTHER bonding camp?". How many bonding camps do we need if we really want to and can bond? Why waste effort and time to plan where in the end; you know what the results will be? How much do we learn each time, how much deeper do we get to know each other? Or maybe we meet up just for the sake of meeting up or gossiping?
Strong spiritual growth together as a fellowship? Forgive me for being rude and straight to the point? I don't even see that we are getting anywhere. I doubt we will meet the objective. Strong spiritual growth; don't make me laugh. Maybe not STRONG spiritual growth, spiritual growth will do... still; don't make me laugh. I know I'm not doing all right at this point. Everyone has his/her weakness; we are not perfect.. Some really... when I look at my own church members and leaders, I don't know to cry of laugh. We are more of a "Hi- Bye" relationship. Aren't we? DO WE REALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER? DO WE CARE BECAUSE WE HAVE A NAME "CHRISTIAN" ON US; OR DO WE CARE BECAUSE WE REALLY DO?
Maybe I have given up on the youths and maybe on the Church as well. Seeing all that the rest and what you have done is no impact and works nothing. Sometimes, you just want to walk out and join someone else in the party.
STOP TELLING ME THEY NEED TIME, PRAY FOR THEM, THEY NEED US, YOU WERE ONCE LIKE THAT.. I know.. AND thanks
For the first time in months I finally turn up for a Pacesetter's event. As usual I was quiet and talk when I am needed. Glad to have a sharing session with Ramily; we both are somehow going through the same thing. Well, we had thoughts of dropping Pace and focus on other things since the motivation to be actively involve with Pace is fading away. But coming to think of how much effort and work we have gone and put through; it's such a waste. Went of after the interview session, was supposed to stay for some meeting but I can't cause of Lee Ying's tuition. For no reason and information I was placed in some unknown committee again.
GCC BBQ tomorrow; should I go? Howe Luen asked me along, but I'm really wondering should I go. It's for the main and sub committee members; and I'm not even confirm to be one yet. Plus, I have Church tomorrow.
In my heart, I had so much wanted to go for this BBQ. "Just leave after leading Praise and Worship. The whole discussion thing is going to be boring and dull anyway", was in my mind. Someone I know I must put God first, plus I'm a committee member myself. Somehow I'm not really looking forward to what "short bonding camp" again. When I got the text for it, I was like "ANOTHER bonding camp?". How many bonding camps do we need if we really want to and can bond? Why waste effort and time to plan where in the end; you know what the results will be? How much do we learn each time, how much deeper do we get to know each other? Or maybe we meet up just for the sake of meeting up or gossiping?
Strong spiritual growth together as a fellowship? Forgive me for being rude and straight to the point? I don't even see that we are getting anywhere. I doubt we will meet the objective. Strong spiritual growth; don't make me laugh. Maybe not STRONG spiritual growth, spiritual growth will do... still; don't make me laugh. I know I'm not doing all right at this point. Everyone has his/her weakness; we are not perfect.. Some really... when I look at my own church members and leaders, I don't know to cry of laugh. We are more of a "Hi- Bye" relationship. Aren't we? DO WE REALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER? DO WE CARE BECAUSE WE HAVE A NAME "CHRISTIAN" ON US; OR DO WE CARE BECAUSE WE REALLY DO?
Maybe I have given up on the youths and maybe on the Church as well. Seeing all that the rest and what you have done is no impact and works nothing. Sometimes, you just want to walk out and join someone else in the party.
STOP TELLING ME THEY NEED TIME, PRAY FOR THEM, THEY NEED US, YOU WERE ONCE LIKE THAT.. I know.. AND thanks
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 6/16/2006 09:50:00 PM
