Sunday, May 21, 2006
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the bling
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Sometimes all one need is some quiet time alone. Even the strong have their weakness; but what made them different is the ability to stand up and recharged when all their energy is gone. As I sat in the Main Hall prayer, God knew my strength was all gone. He knew I was tired and dishearted; He held on to me. Not like a naggy parent asking you what happen and all the "Whys"; God was quietly with me, catching the tears of mine. As I struggle with myself, He gave me strength to fight on.
Saturday evening, I sat on the floor arranging the "Big Mess" when this thought came to me, "What are you doing, Grace? Is it worth it?" Suddenly the past "feeling" came back and I remembered what used to happen when I was much younger, in Church. This afternoon while watching the kids' choir, it seem that what happened to me is happening again to someone. Though I appeared to have forgotten what was done and happened to me; I knew it was hidden so deep that some parts still remain. Sometimes I still get the feeling of being understood, dislike and left out.
Where to go after Church beside feeling like an "extra" in all the places that I can go in church? I don't have paitient like Lydia to handle the Kids' choir, can't teach music instuments, not really close to all the Church people. Asked about best friend in Church? I really wonder who treats me as one.
Faking a smile, telling myself to be strong; deep inside me I was hoping someone would notice and ask me what happen. Of course, if they do ask... Tears will fall. So, I'm not sure either to ask me or not to.
Again, felt extra at Church today. Went off on my own since Lydia and JY had their Macdonald's for lunch. Don't know where to go. Boarded the first bus I saw and it brought me to Parkway Parade. Through the journey, tears were rolling but I don't have any reason why I'm tearing. Walked around at Parkway and had lunch at Burger King. I used to being alone, I guess.
How I wish I can leave this country and start all over again. Maybe it's not as easy as said too. What I'm thinking, they don't seem to be. What I'm feeling, they don't felt it. What I'm going through, they don't have to. I asked for perfection, but they are easy going. I asked for discipline, but we are not. It's all me, me, me, me...
So, am I still looking forward to Church? Yes, cause it's God's house.
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the bling
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Sometimes all one need is some quiet time alone. Even the strong have their weakness; but what made them different is the ability to stand up and recharged when all their energy is gone. As I sat in the Main Hall prayer, God knew my strength was all gone. He knew I was tired and dishearted; He held on to me. Not like a naggy parent asking you what happen and all the "Whys"; God was quietly with me, catching the tears of mine. As I struggle with myself, He gave me strength to fight on.
Saturday evening, I sat on the floor arranging the "Big Mess" when this thought came to me, "What are you doing, Grace? Is it worth it?" Suddenly the past "feeling" came back and I remembered what used to happen when I was much younger, in Church. This afternoon while watching the kids' choir, it seem that what happened to me is happening again to someone. Though I appeared to have forgotten what was done and happened to me; I knew it was hidden so deep that some parts still remain. Sometimes I still get the feeling of being understood, dislike and left out.
Where to go after Church beside feeling like an "extra" in all the places that I can go in church? I don't have paitient like Lydia to handle the Kids' choir, can't teach music instuments, not really close to all the Church people. Asked about best friend in Church? I really wonder who treats me as one.
Faking a smile, telling myself to be strong; deep inside me I was hoping someone would notice and ask me what happen. Of course, if they do ask... Tears will fall. So, I'm not sure either to ask me or not to.
Again, felt extra at Church today. Went off on my own since Lydia and JY had their Macdonald's for lunch. Don't know where to go. Boarded the first bus I saw and it brought me to Parkway Parade. Through the journey, tears were rolling but I don't have any reason why I'm tearing. Walked around at Parkway and had lunch at Burger King. I used to being alone, I guess.
How I wish I can leave this country and start all over again. Maybe it's not as easy as said too. What I'm thinking, they don't seem to be. What I'm feeling, they don't felt it. What I'm going through, they don't have to. I asked for perfection, but they are easy going. I asked for discipline, but we are not. It's all me, me, me, me...
So, am I still looking forward to Church? Yes, cause it's God's house.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 5/21/2006 11:00:00 PM
