Sunday, May 28, 2006
Just came back from Daniel's (Pei Shen Lao Shi) wedding dinner. A short and sweet one. Took 812 from Yishun Interchange, but the bus never took me to the club. In the end, I had to take a taxi down. Then I got lost in the clud itself. Not knowing where the wedding is, I walked round and round. Till I saw Daniel in his suit and the reception table. The whole dinner ended quiet early and we stayed back to take some photographs with the groom and bride. I was someone getting green when I saw Daniel giving the girls red packet for being ushers. Almost all the girls got chosen to help out, except for me and Ning. If I could help, maybe I can get some pocket money and put some colours into my wallet.
Took the Kong's car home. Uncle Bao Ming drove off even before I can close the door. Can't you freakingly wait for me to close the damn door before you drive off? I know there's a taxi behind you and the light had turn green. Can't you wait for a damn second?
I'm just getting so unstable with church. Feel like a total left out and maybe even a loser. Freaking hell, what's happening. I just feel that I'm not doing my job well as a committee member, not as a friend and not even as a church member. Putting up a fake smile, pretending that I'm alright. People might say I'm thinking too much and please take control of myself. Easily said than done. I know, I know... I'm not that pretty, not that "girly", not that responsible, not that smart and not that easy to be friend with. I just suck for now.
Term test coming, projects dueing and I still have the big mess to clear up in the church cardboard. I feel like I'm just walking around aimlessly, following people and being an "eatra". Shirly is busy with her exam, and couldn't get into contact with her cause her cellphone ran out of money. No one to shared my problem with and no one to talk to. Where are the people I thought they cared when I really needed them? Now that Shirly is back online talking to me; I just don't feel like sharing anything with her already. Stupid right? I know I am.
I'm gonna feel extra again in church tomorrow. I want my focus and purpose back, I want the realt me back.
Took the Kong's car home. Uncle Bao Ming drove off even before I can close the door. Can't you freakingly wait for me to close the damn door before you drive off? I know there's a taxi behind you and the light had turn green. Can't you wait for a damn second?
I'm just getting so unstable with church. Feel like a total left out and maybe even a loser. Freaking hell, what's happening. I just feel that I'm not doing my job well as a committee member, not as a friend and not even as a church member. Putting up a fake smile, pretending that I'm alright. People might say I'm thinking too much and please take control of myself. Easily said than done. I know, I know... I'm not that pretty, not that "girly", not that responsible, not that smart and not that easy to be friend with. I just suck for now.
Term test coming, projects dueing and I still have the big mess to clear up in the church cardboard. I feel like I'm just walking around aimlessly, following people and being an "eatra". Shirly is busy with her exam, and couldn't get into contact with her cause her cellphone ran out of money. No one to shared my problem with and no one to talk to. Where are the people I thought they cared when I really needed them? Now that Shirly is back online talking to me; I just don't feel like sharing anything with her already. Stupid right? I know I am.
I'm gonna feel extra again in church tomorrow. I want my focus and purpose back, I want the realt me back.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 5/28/2006 12:32:00 AM
