The Grace in Grace

Utterly dissapointed with today's Praise and Worship. For the first time, I felt so lonely in front. Suppose to be worshipping God together yeah, I felt I was staging a concert for God alone. Despite the number of times I tried to bring them to God; or at least to open their mouth and sing; failed. The look of their faces simply just put me off. By the 4th song, I could no longer be "happy" and lead with my purpose. I simply turn "cold" and sang as it is. I tried to revived myself, but simply I just died off with the people sitting. Saw a few, or maybe just one face that is really singing and understanding the meaning of today's worship. The feeling of standing in front suck to the core. Imagine you prepared for the Praise and Woship, with the ultimate purpose of bringing the people to the Lord, worshiping the Good Lord together and things just turn out the other way round. First, when I start the worship by praying; I don't know what happen to that feaking mike of mine. Then, for the first song my mike simply "turn" off by itself. The 4th song, I simply sang it alone. For the worship section, I find no meaning in sharing my testimony. Coming to the last song, I couldn't hold it anymore. I told the people how dissapointed I was.

Had to agree with Fa Wang Lao Shi that one shouldn't pin all hope on humans.

Everytime I prepare the Praise and Worship with excitement, hoping to bring the people to God and to lead a strong worship. It has always been my dream and hope to worship in a big group with God's strong presence. But each time the church failed me. What I plan didn't turn out.. Again and again I prepare the Praise and Woship with excitement, holding on to my purpose... But again and again I am faced with dissapointement. How I wish I could share with the rest what have I gone through the pass week or how God has touched my life; but.. looking at their faces; "I-AM-NOT-INTERESTED-AND-HURRY-UP-FINISH-THE-SERVICE"

"You have done a good job, in God's eye you have given your 100%. You effort, God sees them all... Grace was being honest with her feelings just now... do you all felt the dissapointment in her?..."--- Thanks Fa Wang Lao Shi

I wished I could share this with someone, and that someone could feedback to me.. who?
EC?--- Nah, she's too busy
Dia?--- Nah, she's there today
Mary?---Nah, think she's busy with the US tour things

Only God is there and will always be there for me