Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Tired
My eyes are heavy, but I can't bring myself to sleep. From the start I knew it's not gonna be easy, but still I chose to walk on this path. Could have just walk away, "Enough, that's it!" is all I have to do. Coming down with a flu and I'm darn tired. Projects are piling up on me, presure pressing hard on, I may just fall and never get up. No, I won't; I'll be strong.
Things hasn't been good since the start of the week. Talk about work, what's wrong with me? I'm slow, I'm not good in kitchen; just give me a chance to learn and pratice will you? I did smile, who says I didn't? So, you want to show you my big grin in front of you?
Weary body, tired souls; Lord, lift me up and renew my strength. The moment I reached home last night, I just know I'm tired and didn't want to do anything. Not that I have nothing to do, but where to start? I cried myself to sleep, why so many things? So much more things than the others? I'm just 17, should be enjoying my teenage years yeah? It'll soon be going off soon, have I enjoyed it? I asked myself, why can't I go home like everyone else after school, have a laptop like some people do, have enough pocket money like everyone do, have a healthy body like everyone do and don't have to worry about money, projects and exams.
Some people just can have what they wanted by just opening their mouth, but some others will have to think of ways to get them or simply work to get what they want. Others get to eat what they want, be merry and enjoy life while others have to watch what they eat and pop pills after every meal? Teenage life for me indeed. I'm not that clever till I can ace in all my school subject, not that smart to get every thing on hand in the cafe and not that strong to take all this.
Is this a joke on me?
Suddenly I don't know how long can I live. Will I be able to live till the day I fulfill all the goals I set? When I leave my house to start the day, will I make it back home? Will I just give up one day and not return to who I am?I wish I can be like some others, who simply don't care about what will happen or take place. Too bad, God didn't gave me that kind of character.
Some people just don't understand. Why the heck would I want to work and tired myself out after a long day in school when I don't have money to pay for my medical bills and needed pocket money when my parents can't affort to give me? Why would I want to eat those pills after lunch if I didn't had diabetes? Why don't I want to visit those "expensive" cafes and place when I don't even know if I have the money to live off tomorrow. Why won't I smile and joke around when I have so many burdens on me and YOU can't see them and thought I'm being aloof? Why won't I just relax and chill?
Time's running out, so many things to do yet undone. I'm falling sick.
I just feel my health getting weaker..
Let me see hope and light, Lord. Let me learn not by my own understanding but by God's knowledge and wisdom. The process is damn hard, but it's too late to give up now; I've come too far.
Born with passion, Made for greatness
Things hasn't been good since the start of the week. Talk about work, what's wrong with me? I'm slow, I'm not good in kitchen; just give me a chance to learn and pratice will you? I did smile, who says I didn't? So, you want to show you my big grin in front of you?
Weary body, tired souls; Lord, lift me up and renew my strength. The moment I reached home last night, I just know I'm tired and didn't want to do anything. Not that I have nothing to do, but where to start? I cried myself to sleep, why so many things? So much more things than the others? I'm just 17, should be enjoying my teenage years yeah? It'll soon be going off soon, have I enjoyed it? I asked myself, why can't I go home like everyone else after school, have a laptop like some people do, have enough pocket money like everyone do, have a healthy body like everyone do and don't have to worry about money, projects and exams.
Some people just can have what they wanted by just opening their mouth, but some others will have to think of ways to get them or simply work to get what they want. Others get to eat what they want, be merry and enjoy life while others have to watch what they eat and pop pills after every meal? Teenage life for me indeed. I'm not that clever till I can ace in all my school subject, not that smart to get every thing on hand in the cafe and not that strong to take all this.
Is this a joke on me?
Suddenly I don't know how long can I live. Will I be able to live till the day I fulfill all the goals I set? When I leave my house to start the day, will I make it back home? Will I just give up one day and not return to who I am?I wish I can be like some others, who simply don't care about what will happen or take place. Too bad, God didn't gave me that kind of character.
Some people just don't understand. Why the heck would I want to work and tired myself out after a long day in school when I don't have money to pay for my medical bills and needed pocket money when my parents can't affort to give me? Why would I want to eat those pills after lunch if I didn't had diabetes? Why don't I want to visit those "expensive" cafes and place when I don't even know if I have the money to live off tomorrow. Why won't I smile and joke around when I have so many burdens on me and YOU can't see them and thought I'm being aloof? Why won't I just relax and chill?
Time's running out, so many things to do yet undone. I'm falling sick.
I just feel my health getting weaker..
Let me see hope and light, Lord. Let me learn not by my own understanding but by God's knowledge and wisdom. The process is damn hard, but it's too late to give up now; I've come too far.
Born with passion, Made for greatness
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 8/16/2005 10:59:00 PM
