Monday, July 25, 2005
It hurts to leave
Woke up this morning and was greeted with JY's SMS. Prayer meeting? Seriously, I don't think it will work. What will we end up doing? Talking, playing and planning what to do next or where to go for lunch. I know you people well, this kind of things will never work out, at least I'm certain now. "If we don't care about the fellowship, who will?" Good question asked, glad this question came into your mind too.
I've given up hope. God, if this "hope" is meant to live, please revive it or just let me go and move on.
"I only called [who,who,who,who and who]"--- Well, the fellowship only consist of the few that you mention? The rest is nothing huh? We are a family, a family in Chirst. Love your enermy as your friends.
It's painfull to leave, to just give up for something that you have hold on to so long. You once held strong vision and hope for it, but now.. I know that it's not going to be possible, I can't see any hope. The feeling is so bad, it tearing inside me. Just like an artist painting an art work. You spend so much time on it, thinking about it day and night, visioning it to be the greatest art work ever done. Then one day you realise this dream of yours is going to be broken, it's not going to be a great piece of work. All the time spend and effort spend just went down the drain..
I tried talking to Dia's mum, Dia and many others. We had prayer meeting, but it lasted for only three weeks. Where's the passion burning for the church? Where's the fire inside us after we've seen the concert? Where's the great visions we once had?
I don't want to leave and I don't want to leave as well. Leaving the church is the last thing I want to do, but it's came to an end. Enough is enough. Lack of discipline, childish behaviors and mistakes committed again and again.. I know we're not perfect, but at least all that we can do is learn from our mistakes. Did we? I don't think we did.
What's all the talks about team bonding for? What's all the camps about closer relationships for? It just pissed me off when I see stupid, sorry to say, but stupid behaviors from some people in the fellowship. Names calling, backstabbing, boycotting, irresponsibilties, lack of spritual discipline etc etc etc..
No point when there's only a few doing their "job".
I've given up hope. God, if this "hope" is meant to live, please revive it or just let me go and move on.
"I only called [who,who,who,who and who]"--- Well, the fellowship only consist of the few that you mention? The rest is nothing huh? We are a family, a family in Chirst. Love your enermy as your friends.
It's painfull to leave, to just give up for something that you have hold on to so long. You once held strong vision and hope for it, but now.. I know that it's not going to be possible, I can't see any hope. The feeling is so bad, it tearing inside me. Just like an artist painting an art work. You spend so much time on it, thinking about it day and night, visioning it to be the greatest art work ever done. Then one day you realise this dream of yours is going to be broken, it's not going to be a great piece of work. All the time spend and effort spend just went down the drain..
I tried talking to Dia's mum, Dia and many others. We had prayer meeting, but it lasted for only three weeks. Where's the passion burning for the church? Where's the fire inside us after we've seen the concert? Where's the great visions we once had?
I don't want to leave and I don't want to leave as well. Leaving the church is the last thing I want to do, but it's came to an end. Enough is enough. Lack of discipline, childish behaviors and mistakes committed again and again.. I know we're not perfect, but at least all that we can do is learn from our mistakes. Did we? I don't think we did.
What's all the talks about team bonding for? What's all the camps about closer relationships for? It just pissed me off when I see stupid, sorry to say, but stupid behaviors from some people in the fellowship. Names calling, backstabbing, boycotting, irresponsibilties, lack of spritual discipline etc etc etc..
No point when there's only a few doing their "job".
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 7/25/2005 09:40:00 PM
