Sunday, July 24, 2005
Church?
I somehow could sense Che's sadness while I was leading worship today. Sitting alone at the back, all by herself with tears in her eyes. I don't know how she must have felt, because I'm not in her shoes.. It just hurts to see her tears falls, and my words made her cry even more. It's alright to tear, just remember to wipe away those tears and stand up from where you fall. "God know your every thoughts, He captures your every tears and He knows how you are feeling deep inside."
Some people just don't know how to learn from their mistakes. They can forget their mistakes, but at the same time they forgot the lessons that the mistakes taught them. What the point of apologising over and over again, without meaning? What the point, I don't see the end to it. We;ll never learn this way. Is this what friends are mean to be? If you guys have the courage to talk bad about her, tell it in her face. What has she done? Are you that perfect? What if you're the one in her shoes?
Stop pointing fingers and saying that it isn't your fault. You forgotten that when you point one, just one finger at others, you have 3 pointing back to you? Many times when things went wrong, even when it's your fault, you tend to pull others down with you. Human nature I can say.
How far can this church go? I really wonder. What's pulling me back from going? Is it the bonds I shared with the people, or is it the memories? It's a struggle to stay on. All that I asked for, a church with God loving people, hungry to know and love God more. I don't see any in this church. All along we have been going our way, not God's.
All those camps, talks by the teachers or by speakers have all gone to waste. What the point of talking if it went in one ear and when out the other? What the point of coming together when the purpose is wrong?
Sorry to say, but certain people's attitude just pissed me off. Should be called a child of God and shouldn't even be a leader. I'm sorry to say, but that what's in me. As a leader, have you been showing a good example for the others to follow? We are so closely bonded, we didn't allow others to come in. Break this bond, it's not doing any good.
I had great vision for this church, but my effort alone cannot make a big difference. Wake up people, answer to the call..