Sunday, April 17, 2005
Thanks for sitting next to me
It's way pass midnight, just got home from the BBQ. Am surprise when I saw Joyce's tag. Been a long time since I last saw her.. Love her blog music!!
Had a fun time at the BBQ today..
Did I?
Yes.. I did.
When we went over to his house today, I was quiet most of the time, didn't speak much, I don't know why also. His house is full of peranakan stuff, a lot of them. His family history is so rich. Stayed in the house for a while, had Mee Soto, prepared by his nanny. Yeah, got the chance to see his Mum, Sister and Nanny.
After so, Charlene, Irean and me walked over to Centuary square for the movie. We were walking, when I saw him and Duane at the lobby area. He had to go back home, as he forgotten his glasses. I went back with him, we talk along the way. He was concern for me, asking how I am and stuff. He even did a research on my illness, that's nice of him. I'm sure he's scare of getting it himself too. Cut down on your coffee and chocolate!!
Got to know him a little more today, know about his family history and people. Before the movie start, we went to get bubble tea, all of them stuff their tea in my bag to smuggle it in! I told him, if I'm caught, I might be ban from the theather forever!
The movie was great, funny! At first it was a little boring, but it get funny in the middle! I didn't sit beside him, sat beside Eli.
Know what... at the start.. I think the both of us were... Hah.. you know.. shy or something.. But, we get back to normal soon after.
Eli drove and we arrive at Duane's aunt's plave like 6 plus? Didn't really notice the timing. It was raining a little when we arrive, but it stopped eventually. I found myself looking at him most of the time..
During BBQ, I and Charlene stood together, then he joined in as well.. Hah.. At the table, he sat beside me all along. Though not close together, but I thank him for sitting beside me. The group of us chatted, had a fun time.
Listening to the music from Joyce's blog.. made me think. Did I really put him down already? I know I haven.. This day that I have been waiting for just bypass so quicky.. There might never be a chance for him to accept me, but.. Hey.. Sorry I am emotional. He once told me that one should let go of his/her feelings for someone if that someone shows no interest.. Easily said, hard to be done.
After today, I don't know when will I see you again. When I email you, what reasons do I have? Why? Why do I deprive of feeling feelings? Why you? Even your youngest brother is older then me.. Are we just meant to be friends?
Agnes told me once to go for my feelings, Si Yun told me to do the same. I did, I wrote you the card on the last day of your work.. Nothing happens..
You may think I'm foolish.. I'm stupid.. Some nights, I went to sleep with you in my thoughts.. Some? I think most. I struggled so much, I cry myself to sleep. Once I came to office with my eyes swollen, Charlene thought I cried the whole night.. I told her, I didn't. But in fact I did, for you.
Looking at you, I want to know you more, I want to care for you.. But on the other hand.. things are stopping me. With my illness now, how.. is this dream of mine coming true? I don't know.
After I learn of my illness, I don't know how long can I live. Who knows I may be gone tomorrow? What are you thinking? Please let me know..
I miss you
Had a fun time at the BBQ today..
Did I?
Yes.. I did.
When we went over to his house today, I was quiet most of the time, didn't speak much, I don't know why also. His house is full of peranakan stuff, a lot of them. His family history is so rich. Stayed in the house for a while, had Mee Soto, prepared by his nanny. Yeah, got the chance to see his Mum, Sister and Nanny.
After so, Charlene, Irean and me walked over to Centuary square for the movie. We were walking, when I saw him and Duane at the lobby area. He had to go back home, as he forgotten his glasses. I went back with him, we talk along the way. He was concern for me, asking how I am and stuff. He even did a research on my illness, that's nice of him. I'm sure he's scare of getting it himself too. Cut down on your coffee and chocolate!!
Got to know him a little more today, know about his family history and people. Before the movie start, we went to get bubble tea, all of them stuff their tea in my bag to smuggle it in! I told him, if I'm caught, I might be ban from the theather forever!
The movie was great, funny! At first it was a little boring, but it get funny in the middle! I didn't sit beside him, sat beside Eli.
Know what... at the start.. I think the both of us were... Hah.. you know.. shy or something.. But, we get back to normal soon after.
Eli drove and we arrive at Duane's aunt's plave like 6 plus? Didn't really notice the timing. It was raining a little when we arrive, but it stopped eventually. I found myself looking at him most of the time..
During BBQ, I and Charlene stood together, then he joined in as well.. Hah.. At the table, he sat beside me all along. Though not close together, but I thank him for sitting beside me. The group of us chatted, had a fun time.
Listening to the music from Joyce's blog.. made me think. Did I really put him down already? I know I haven.. This day that I have been waiting for just bypass so quicky.. There might never be a chance for him to accept me, but.. Hey.. Sorry I am emotional. He once told me that one should let go of his/her feelings for someone if that someone shows no interest.. Easily said, hard to be done.
After today, I don't know when will I see you again. When I email you, what reasons do I have? Why? Why do I deprive of feeling feelings? Why you? Even your youngest brother is older then me.. Are we just meant to be friends?
Agnes told me once to go for my feelings, Si Yun told me to do the same. I did, I wrote you the card on the last day of your work.. Nothing happens..
You may think I'm foolish.. I'm stupid.. Some nights, I went to sleep with you in my thoughts.. Some? I think most. I struggled so much, I cry myself to sleep. Once I came to office with my eyes swollen, Charlene thought I cried the whole night.. I told her, I didn't. But in fact I did, for you.
Looking at you, I want to know you more, I want to care for you.. But on the other hand.. things are stopping me. With my illness now, how.. is this dream of mine coming true? I don't know.
After I learn of my illness, I don't know how long can I live. Who knows I may be gone tomorrow? What are you thinking? Please let me know..
I miss you
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 4/17/2005 01:04:00 AM
