Friday, April 29, 2005
Needles and Insulin are going to be my next best friend
Strange, I'm not afraid anymore...
Compare it with the first time, when I learn about my illness. My fear is gone. Yes, I did cried today, when the Doctor told me that I have to be on injections.
Yeah, friends.. I need injections.. Everyday, 2 times a day and for three times a week, I needa check my blood sugar.
Don't worry, Gracie will be strong. Satan can't do anything to me, Satan is defeated!
I went to the clinic alone, but I know the Lord is there with me. He has took away my fear, there is nothing I have to be afriad of. While waiting, I prayed.. "No matter what is going to happen, I know that, Lord, your will is always higher then mine. You will guide me and walk me through. All I have to do is trust in you."
The nurse took my blood twice and also took a little blood for my blood sugar test. Painful? Of course it is, but thank God, it's all over. Needles, needles.. They are going to be my next best friend. Everyday I will have to inject myself at the stomach area.. I wonder how long will this whole thing last. The doctor can't promise me anything, it's better not also.. If he made a promise and can't fulfill it, I will be crushed. There's still hope that I can stop injections and go on medication. But what ever it is, may God's will be done and not mine.
Never have I thought it will be me. I am only 17, a long way to go. I did ask God, "Why me?" I might be asking this question, but I know all things happen for a reason. When I was sitting in the doctor's office, I was hoping for the best.. When he said that I have to undergo injections, to be frank, I was crushed. Tears will rolling in my eyes, I keep asking God, "Why me? Why? I'm only 17?" I just finished my O levels, I just survive a hard year.. I've been through so much to be where I am now, why must this happen to me? Since young, I have been made different.. I have gone through much more than others of my age.. Is this what I should get?
I can choose to be angry at myself, at my Mom.. But I know that's not the way. When I went and met the nurse who was going to teach me how to inject myself.. I broke down. I wasn't worried about the pain nor what will my friends think.. I'm just worried about my future.. But now, I don't have to. If I were to leave for Heaven, won't it be great?
I may suffer on earth, go through the torture of the needles or medication.. But I will be happy when I reach Heaven. The Lord will tell me, "Welcome home, child. You fought a great battle." I have many dreams I wanna achieve, I have many things I wanna do, but may that all be in God's will. I wanna be a motivational speaker, an entrepreneur, write book, missionarie, singer for God.. I'm not giving all this up.. But I now place them with the Lord.. If it's His will that I can achieve all my dreams, Hallelujah.. I pray that I will live to fulfill them.
Friends, if one day I were to be gone.. Haa, remember me. Remember me not of my injections, not of my illness, but of the time we spent together. Remember all the memories we once shared. It may be gone, but at least it is living inside you. I'll be watching you from above. Don't say "touch wood", things can just happen. Look at me, one moment I am fine, the next I am down with injections.. Doctor found blood in my urine as well, I don't know what's gonna happen next.. More test results to be made known soon. Will update you guys..
I'm sure I am facing this, because I got what it takes. I will be strong and fight this battle till the Lord calls me home.. There are many others who are going through tougher thing than I am.. I'm not alone.. Amen.
Compare it with the first time, when I learn about my illness. My fear is gone. Yes, I did cried today, when the Doctor told me that I have to be on injections.
Yeah, friends.. I need injections.. Everyday, 2 times a day and for three times a week, I needa check my blood sugar.
Don't worry, Gracie will be strong. Satan can't do anything to me, Satan is defeated!
I went to the clinic alone, but I know the Lord is there with me. He has took away my fear, there is nothing I have to be afriad of. While waiting, I prayed.. "No matter what is going to happen, I know that, Lord, your will is always higher then mine. You will guide me and walk me through. All I have to do is trust in you."
The nurse took my blood twice and also took a little blood for my blood sugar test. Painful? Of course it is, but thank God, it's all over. Needles, needles.. They are going to be my next best friend. Everyday I will have to inject myself at the stomach area.. I wonder how long will this whole thing last. The doctor can't promise me anything, it's better not also.. If he made a promise and can't fulfill it, I will be crushed. There's still hope that I can stop injections and go on medication. But what ever it is, may God's will be done and not mine.
Never have I thought it will be me. I am only 17, a long way to go. I did ask God, "Why me?" I might be asking this question, but I know all things happen for a reason. When I was sitting in the doctor's office, I was hoping for the best.. When he said that I have to undergo injections, to be frank, I was crushed. Tears will rolling in my eyes, I keep asking God, "Why me? Why? I'm only 17?" I just finished my O levels, I just survive a hard year.. I've been through so much to be where I am now, why must this happen to me? Since young, I have been made different.. I have gone through much more than others of my age.. Is this what I should get?
I can choose to be angry at myself, at my Mom.. But I know that's not the way. When I went and met the nurse who was going to teach me how to inject myself.. I broke down. I wasn't worried about the pain nor what will my friends think.. I'm just worried about my future.. But now, I don't have to. If I were to leave for Heaven, won't it be great?
I may suffer on earth, go through the torture of the needles or medication.. But I will be happy when I reach Heaven. The Lord will tell me, "Welcome home, child. You fought a great battle." I have many dreams I wanna achieve, I have many things I wanna do, but may that all be in God's will. I wanna be a motivational speaker, an entrepreneur, write book, missionarie, singer for God.. I'm not giving all this up.. But I now place them with the Lord.. If it's His will that I can achieve all my dreams, Hallelujah.. I pray that I will live to fulfill them.
Friends, if one day I were to be gone.. Haa, remember me. Remember me not of my injections, not of my illness, but of the time we spent together. Remember all the memories we once shared. It may be gone, but at least it is living inside you. I'll be watching you from above. Don't say "touch wood", things can just happen. Look at me, one moment I am fine, the next I am down with injections.. Doctor found blood in my urine as well, I don't know what's gonna happen next.. More test results to be made known soon. Will update you guys..
I'm sure I am facing this, because I got what it takes. I will be strong and fight this battle till the Lord calls me home.. There are many others who are going through tougher thing than I am.. I'm not alone.. Amen.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 4/29/2005 10:11:00 PM
