Monday, April 04, 2005
He's gone...
Monday morning in the office, once again it's three person. Eli didn't come to work, he's sick. Everyone is sick in the office, germs spread fast yah...
Fianally I told him, or should I say I wrote to him. Now, another struggle surrounds me.. He didn't sms, or e-mail me.. So, what is he thinking?
Friday afternoon he came back to the office. He bought with him tibits and chocolate. I was using his computer doing work when he smsed me. I was overjoyed, cause I thought he will never reply me. He toid me he was on his way here now and asked me what is the thing I want to pass to him.
He came in after 2.30p.m, it just felt so good seeing him walking into the office again. Then, I went into the room to make my calls, he came in shortly too. He sat beside me. He asked about the thing I am going to give him, but I say I will pass it to him at the end of the day.
After work, Eli, Duane, him and me decided to drop by Orchard's starbuck cafe. Me, Eli and him went there first, Duane and wife went for dinner. Again at the cafe while we are doing our order, he asked me about the thing I am going to give him. I kept it a secreat, saying that I will pass to him when he's going off. Me and him ordered first, Eli was outside smoking. When we came out, again he mentioned about the thing I am going to give him..Haha!We chatted, had a fun time..Chatted about Uncle, all the crap he's doing and all things funny. It's a jolly fun time, never had such a gathering with my friends before. Mixing with older people somehow feels different, but.. I'm still able to click inside. At the cafe, he sat beside me also, but further away, guess he got long legs lah, that's why.. Hee!
The group stayed till like 11.50p.m, after then we left because I have to leave and Erwin have to go back home for family gathering. Eli send me home, he droped me at the coffee shop, it was only then I pass him the card. I don't know if he read it in the car or went home to read. I hope that he read it at home. I was expecting his sms, but didn't. Oh well, never mind, everything under God's hand. Trust in him.
God, let me never walk away or far from you. I know I can't cope or live without you. I need you to be my strength and my comfort. Let me hold on to you no matter what, believe in you, that's all I want to do. You know how I feels inside, you know things and feelings that I don't. Even before I come to you, you know what I am going to ask. God, sometimes I can't hear you, I can't feel you, but I know you are still there. Hold my hand God, never let me go, never leave me. I don't know how am I going to live without you. Hold my hand and be my companion, God. God, it is only in you I can find strength, in you I can find the reason to smile, to do anything. God, let me hold on to you, no matter what I am going through. I may be hurt, crying out silently, but God, you will always be there to heal me, lift me up and give me the reason to smile, from my heart.
Everyday is lived for you God! Amen! I will learn to work without him, motivate myself and crack jokes even when he is gone. He may be out of sight, but at least we are still in contact. Maybe I will get to see him this weekend for the company's outing?? I look forward to it.
Fianally I told him, or should I say I wrote to him. Now, another struggle surrounds me.. He didn't sms, or e-mail me.. So, what is he thinking?
Friday afternoon he came back to the office. He bought with him tibits and chocolate. I was using his computer doing work when he smsed me. I was overjoyed, cause I thought he will never reply me. He toid me he was on his way here now and asked me what is the thing I want to pass to him.
He came in after 2.30p.m, it just felt so good seeing him walking into the office again. Then, I went into the room to make my calls, he came in shortly too. He sat beside me. He asked about the thing I am going to give him, but I say I will pass it to him at the end of the day.
After work, Eli, Duane, him and me decided to drop by Orchard's starbuck cafe. Me, Eli and him went there first, Duane and wife went for dinner. Again at the cafe while we are doing our order, he asked me about the thing I am going to give him. I kept it a secreat, saying that I will pass to him when he's going off. Me and him ordered first, Eli was outside smoking. When we came out, again he mentioned about the thing I am going to give him..Haha!We chatted, had a fun time..Chatted about Uncle, all the crap he's doing and all things funny. It's a jolly fun time, never had such a gathering with my friends before. Mixing with older people somehow feels different, but.. I'm still able to click inside. At the cafe, he sat beside me also, but further away, guess he got long legs lah, that's why.. Hee!
The group stayed till like 11.50p.m, after then we left because I have to leave and Erwin have to go back home for family gathering. Eli send me home, he droped me at the coffee shop, it was only then I pass him the card. I don't know if he read it in the car or went home to read. I hope that he read it at home. I was expecting his sms, but didn't. Oh well, never mind, everything under God's hand. Trust in him.
God, let me never walk away or far from you. I know I can't cope or live without you. I need you to be my strength and my comfort. Let me hold on to you no matter what, believe in you, that's all I want to do. You know how I feels inside, you know things and feelings that I don't. Even before I come to you, you know what I am going to ask. God, sometimes I can't hear you, I can't feel you, but I know you are still there. Hold my hand God, never let me go, never leave me. I don't know how am I going to live without you. Hold my hand and be my companion, God. God, it is only in you I can find strength, in you I can find the reason to smile, to do anything. God, let me hold on to you, no matter what I am going through. I may be hurt, crying out silently, but God, you will always be there to heal me, lift me up and give me the reason to smile, from my heart.
Everyday is lived for you God! Amen! I will learn to work without him, motivate myself and crack jokes even when he is gone. He may be out of sight, but at least we are still in contact. Maybe I will get to see him this weekend for the company's outing?? I look forward to it.
# . Grace Eleora Loo : 4/04/2005 10:01:00 AM
