The Grace in Grace

Just came back from outside, a tiring day, but FUN! It's a gift that I can spend time with my friends. Went to church in the morning, after church a group of us went to Hougang Mall to shop for our "uniforms" for Easter Day Performance. Went to a number of shops and after a few hours, finally all of us got what we wanted. On Easter Day, the teens are going to be SO bright!

While I was in church today, I thought about him. Suddenly I realise... Many of times I deprived myself from doing or achieving the dream(s) I want to. Like him(Grace-knows-who), had a crush on him, but didn't dare to let him know. Fearing that something will go wrong when he knows about it. Get to know him not too long ago, but my feelings grew after I met him like.. a week?--- Should be less than a week... about 6 days. Others might think..."Oh, teenager is like that wan lah. See him awhile only say like him..."--- I don't know, don't wish to comment on this. The Bible says," Do not arouse love when it's not desire"--- May God's will be done and not mine.

I can tell others that, tell myself that..But inside me, sometimes I just want it my way. However, God knows what's the best for me. He's a good friend! Joke with me, talk... He can be counted as one of my best guy-friend. He's cheerfull, even with his health condition. I still remember, when I met him the first time, the impression wasn't good. First met him last month, he was wearing all black with his sun glasses on. He was cool, quiet and speaks with an accent. I didn't know about his health condition then. I thought this guy was proud or something, why would he wanna wear sun glasses indoor?

After I got to know him better, understood his condition and learn more about his character-- the impression just change the other way round. He has become part of my everyday thinking.

Sat under the sun with him, we were both burned at the end of the day. As red as tomatoes, but I actually enjoyed the time. We chatted, joked and had lunch together. He even showed me his wisdom tooth! Got to know him a bit more after that weekend. I lost my mobile on friday and on saturday, he smsed me to say that he will be late. But I didn't get the chance to read the message. Well, I will get his number again since he got mine. Haha, talking about it.. I have been waiting for him to sms me since I gave him my number..and when he really did.. My phone was gone!

My only worry, not his health condition, not his looks or anything. So what if he's got a health condition, I like him and admire him for what he is and who he is. I only have the fear that.. he will only treat me like a little sister. He's older than me, not a lot. Acceptable. When he told me he liked a girl, I was telling myself,"Be calm, Grace.Heart broken." But... when he told me that his feelings for her are almost gone.. HmMmm.. I was like..."ok"..

On friday, I saw his eyes, without his sun glasses. They caught my eyes and I can't forget them. They were bright, shiny.. He has this smell on him, not B.O, and I think it's special! He's tall, good looking, God loving and matured. Like a big brother..but... my feelings for him is not a big brother..

Hah! This is a secreat shared between me and God. Not even my bestest friends know, even if they do, they don't who he is. This kind of feelings is awful, but I can't control yeah. Some may think I'm stupid. "Grace, you are still young!" But, young doesn't means no feelings for people ma.. I may be young, but age cannot limit to what I can do or wanna do.

I missed him, haha... Anyway, will get to see him tomorrow. Every morning I wait for him to come it.. Spy him..haha.. No la, I'm not pervert!

That's all le lah.. got to go. God Bless!